Lucy laughed so hard when she saw what her husband had brought home this time that three kittens, alarmed by the commotion, scampered over and hid behind her legs. The mother cat, sensing her kittens, wriggled free from his arms and began washing them lovingly.
Tom, the driver of a small delivery van, was given a list of addresses and tasks for his next shift. Just outside London, there was a compact depot housing a dozen vans, with a car park, a room packed with snacks, and a device to clock staff in and out.
Settling into the driver’s seat, Tom started the engine. The old van rumbled and coughed as usual. During lunch, he switched it off and was about to join the others around the tables when a strange sound trickled from beneath the bonnetlike a whining belt or perhaps the fan clipping something, yet the van was off.
He glanced at the other drivers, most already comfortably seated with their sandwiches, and decided hed better check. He lifted the bonnetand nearly lost his composure. On the fan cover, directly beside the radiator grill, sat a tiny black kitten, smeared with grease, pitifully mewling.
Tom felt his legs wobble. For one dreadful moment, he imagined what might have happened if the little thing had gotten caught in the working engine. Collecting himself, he gently scooped up the kitten, shut the bonnet, and climbed back in.
When he got home, Lucy went on a tirade.
Tom! Honestly, cant you check the van before you drive off? What if youd run him over! If this happens again, dont bother coming home, you understand?
Tom gestured helplessly, trying to explain. Meanwhile, the kitten purred contentedly in Lucys arms and was whisked away to the bathroom at once. From behind the closed door, came cooing voices, whispers, and the sounds of affectionate kisses.
Tom sighed heavily. He strained to recall the last time hed heard affection like this directed at himself. Realising he couldnt, he shrugged and headed back to work.
The next day, wary after yesterdays ordeal, he opened the bonnetclear. He knelt to check underneath, and there
A ginger-and-white kitten was sitting there! As soon as Tom peered under the van, the little one chirped and rushed towards him. Tom picked up the second foundling, still bewildered as to how it came to be there, and what to do now. Remembering Lucys harsh words, he turned the van toward home.
This time, Lucy didnt scold him. On the contrary, she regarded him with admiration and declared, In twenty years, this might be your first truly sensible act.
Well done! she said approvingly, and whisked the second kitten off to join the first in the bathroom. Both kittens followed after her.
That day, Tom felt lighter, easier, and proud. At supper, the family sat four strongtwo playful kittens clambering onto Lucys lap, scrabbling and tussling, while she laughed with a brilliant, youthful ring. That laughter was why hed fallen in love with her long ago.
The next dawn, Tom crouched anxiously to check beneath his van again.
Oh, Lord! he breathed.
There sat a third kittengrey with white paws. He scooped up this one, too.
That evening, Lucy led Tom to a local healera self-proclaimed witch, seer, and mystic. After inspecting him, she declared: two enchantments, three curses, and the evil eye. The cost: a month of work and four hundred pounds.
The next morning, Tom dreaded approaching the van. Puffing nervously outside, he finally peeked beneath. There, staring back, was a full-grown grey tabby with sagging sidesclearly the kittens mother.
What now? Tom asked, resigned. What have I done this time?
He sighed, swung open the van door. The cat meowed and deftly leapt in.
When he brought the fully-grown mother cat home, Lucy laughed so infectiously and long that the three kittens, racing to the hubbub, darted behind her legs in fear. The mother cat spied her brood, slipped free, and began licking them fiercely.
Tom watched, thoroughly bewildered, as if witnessing something miraculous.
Whats she up to? he asked Lucy, baffled.
How naive! she giggled. Dont you get it? Shes made sure her little ones are settledand that shes settled herself, too.
Lucy knelt, stroked the mother along her flank, and shook her head.
In all my years, she said, Ive never seen such cunning. It takes a proper feline mind for that sort of planning.
Near the end of the week, Lucy announced Tom was off fishing. The surprise left his mouth agape, eyes wide.
Go on, go on, she told him with a bright nod. Im gathering my mates, so dont get underfoot. Deal?
Right Tom replied, uncertain if he should be glad or worried. But his opinion was entirely beside the point.
Before he left, Lucy stepped up and kissed him.
Ive always known, she said, youre wonderful.
Tom stepped out onto the porch and gazed around.
Oh, its lovely here, he whispered. Why didnt I notice this before?
Birds sang. Not just in the gardenTom felt their song inside himself, too.
Soon, Lucys friends arrived, each with a bottle and snacks. When they all settled, the mother cat took pride of place at the centre of the table. The women poured champagne and raised their glasses:
To the wise mistress, who managed to take care of both her babies and herself!
Afterwards, nobody remembered what the next toast was for. The cat sprawled across the tablecloth, eyes squeezed shut in bliss. She knew: here she was loved, here was home.
On the sofa, her three kittens snoozed peacefully, snuggled together, breathing softly.
So heres what it all comes to. A simple toast:
Health to clever women and their husbands, who are lucky enough to live alongside them.
And I wish the same for all of you.
