When I brought my girl home, my father stood there, jaw slack, a sheen of sweat on his face.
The first sting of betrayal I ever felt stuck with me for life.
Id always been uneasy about my height. In nursery I was the runt even the girls seemed taller. I had no mates, spent my playtime alone, and when the other kids snatched my toys I just swallowed it, never complaining to Mum or Dad.
School didnt change a thing. They called me Tiny, mocked me, and I clenched my fists tighter. When the taunts became unbearable, I begged my parents to sign me up for a sports club.
A few years later I was unrecognisable. Id grown, bulked up, my frame became muscular and lean. By the time I was in Year9 the girls started to notice, but the hurts of my childhood made me keep everyone at arms length.
First love and first disappointment
When I went off to university my world shifted. I grew more confident, slipped easily into conversation, and the ladies seemed eager to chat.
Thats how I met Daphne a student renting a flat in a shabby block near the campus. At first I just walked her to the lift, but one evening she asked me in. Thats when our affair began.
It never brought me true happiness. One night, following my heart, I said,
Lets get married.
Daphne laughed, Paul, youve got your whole life ahead of you! Youre handsome, fit, and youll have plenty of girls. You can date anyone, then pick the best.
My voice turned cold, Are you serious?
She shrugged, Of course! Ive got a fiancé the most goodlooking, welloff bloke in our area. He sends me money so I dont have to live in the halls. We only see each other at holidays, and I spend my nights with you.
Her words cut straight to the bone.
So Im just a temporary option? I asked, bitterness in my tone.
Paul, I really do like you! But you know the drill
I got up and started gathering my things.
Are you upset? she teased, watching me. Good thing you found out the truth now. Just dont trust girls right away. Get to know them before you hand over your heart.
I walked out feeling used.
Home comfort instead of shattered dreams
Back at my flat I dropped my suitcase by the door.
Son, whats happened? Mum asked, worry in her eyes. No wedding then?
Just a bust, I replied briefly, pulling a ring from my pocket. Here, keep it. Youll need it more than I do.
Mum looked at the ring, a soft sigh escaping her. Lovely ring, Ill wear it myself, she said. Come into the kitchen, Ive baked your favourite scones and brewed some peppermint tea. Lets sit and talk.
The warmth and care she gave me were exactly what Id missed these past weeks.
Another blow to my pride
At university I avoided running into Daphne, yet she acted as if nothing had happened. After lectures shed stroll arminarm with Konstantin, whispering, then slip away down a side corridor.
I realised her words had been nothing more than a convenient excuse. I was just a fleeting amusement for her, a placeholder until something better came along. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.
A few days later another test appeared.
Paul, come to my birthday, said Blythe, one of the prettiest students in our year, out of the blue.
Was this a chance at something real or another trap?
