22November2025 Diary
When I brought my girlfriend home, my dad froze, his jaw slack, and a cold sweat broke across his face. That day marked the first betrayal I would carry with me forever.
From early childhood I felt insecure because of my short stature. In the nursery at StJames Primary I was the runt even the girls seemed taller than me. I had no friends, spent my recesses alone, and when other children snatched my toys I simply swallowed the hurt, never complaining to Mum or Dad.
School didnt improve matters. The older lads called me shorty, teased me relentlessly, and I clenched my fists tighter each day. When the mockery became unbearable, I begged my parents to enrol me in a sports club.
Years later I was unrecognisable. Id bulked up, my limbs grew strong and lean. By Year9 some of the girls started to notice me, yet the bruises of my childhood lingered and I kept everyone at arms length.
University changed the script. Confidence seemed to arrive on its own; I made conversation easily and the ladies showed interest without me having to chase them. Thats how I met Ethel, a fellow student who rented a flat near the campus. At first I merely walked her to the lift, but one evening she asked me to step inside. Our relationship deepened quickly.
It never felt like true happiness, though. One night, following the pull of my heart, I blurted out:
Lets get married.
Ethel laughed, the sound sharp as a kettle.
Paul, youve got your whole life ahead of you! Youre goodlooking, fit, and trust me youll have plenty of girls. Date anyone you like, then pick the best.
My voice went cold.
Are you serious?
She shrugged.
Of course! Ive got a fiancé. Hes the most handsome and welloff bloke in our area, sends me money so I dont have to live in the dorms. We only meet on holidays, and I spend nights with you.
Her words cut right through me.
So Im just a temporary option? I asked, bitterness rising.
Paul, I really do like you! But you understand
I stood, started packing my things.
Offended? she teased, watching me. Good youve learned the truth now. Dont trust a girl straight away; get to know her before you hand over your heart.
I left feeling used.
Back at home I dumped my suitcase by the front door.
Son, whats happened? Mum asked, worry in her voice. No wedding?
Its a bust, she replied curtly, pulling a ring from my pocket. Keep it. Youll need it more than I do.
Mum looked at the ring, a wistful smile crossing her features.
Lovely ring. Ill wear it myself, she sighed. Come into the kitchen, Ive baked your favourite scones and brewed some mint tea. Lets sit, talk.
The warmth of her kitchen wrapped around me, a comfort I hadnt felt in days.
At university I avoided Ethel, yet she carried on as if nothing had changed, arminarm with George after lectures, whispering together before disappearing down a hallway. I realised then that her sweet words were nothing more than an excuse. I had been a momentary diversion, a placeholder until a better option appeared. The thought lodged like a stone in my chest.
A few days later another test arrived.
Paul, come to my birthday! Beatrice, one of the most striking students in our cohort, said unexpectedly.
Was this a chance at something genuine, or just another snare? Only time will tell.
End of entry.
