Since our son got married, he doesnt want to visit us anymore. Now hes always with his mother-in-law, who seems to need urgent help every day. I cant imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son.
Our sons been married for over two years now. After the wedding, the children moved out and started living on their own in a flat we bought for our son when he began university. Weve always supported him, even from childhood, and hes always known were here for him. Even before he married, he was living alone because his flat was close to his job.
I wouldnt say I disliked my daughter-in-law; back then, I just thought she wasnt quite mature enough for married life, even though our son is only two years older than her. She often behaved a bit childishly, sometimes she was even quite moody. Our son is so lovely, and I kept wondering how hed cope with this child as a partner.
After meeting her and her mother, it became clear who they were. Despite being the same age as me, our sons mother-in-law acts like a teenager. Have you ever met adults who never seem to grow up? Shes incredibly immature and helpless. When her daughter got married, she had already been divorced six times.
We never had much to talk about with her because she lived in her own world, but thankfully, she wasnt pushy. Our interactions were limited to exchanging polite congratulations at the wedding, and that was about it.
But trouble started even before the wedding, when our daughter-in-law kept dragging our son over to her mums house: the tap was leaking, the socket needed changing, the kitchen shelf had collapsed. At first, I just ignored it, thinking theres no man about the house, so he could be helpful.
Over time, though, the number of issues at his mother-in-laws home didnt decrease. Our son kept ignoring us, saying he was needed at his wifes mums house. Soon, they began celebrating all holidays there, while I was left alone with my husband and my mother-in-law.
When our son stopped coming to family gatherings, it was disappointing, but it got worse when he started ignoring our own requests for help.
Around that time, we bought a new fridge and asked our son if he could help move it. He agreed at first, but then called back to say he couldn’t make it because he and his wife had to go to her mothersher washing machine was leaking.
When my husband rang our son, he overheard our daughter-in-law saying, “Cant your parents just hire a removal company?” Our son did show up, but he was in a foul mood.
“Come on, Dad, couldnt you get a company? Now I have to carry this myself!”
I felt discouraged and wondered why his mother-in-law couldnt just call a professional. Maybe she lives in a world without electricians and plumbers? Our son said she needed help, claiming that tradesmen always cheated her, took her money, but never fixed anything.
My husband couldnt take it any longer and joked that maybe our sons mother-in-law knew nothing about appliances, but she was certainly skilled at shepherding since she was good at leading sheep. Our son immediately took offence and stormed out. I didnt interfere at the time, though I thought my husband was spot on, since those in-laws always relied on our son for everythingplumbing, repairswhile he seemed to forget we even existed.
After the argument, our son didnt speak to his father for over two weeks. My husband refuses to be the first to mend things. I feel utterly torn, stuck in the middle. I know my husbands right, but he could have been gentler with our son. Now our son is upset, doesnt want to see his father, and I refuse to lose him over something so trivial.
My husband wont make the first move, and our son is digging in as well, saying he wont speak to his dad until he gets an apology. In all this, his mother-in-law is the only one thriving!
