When my mothers retirement turned into my lesson in selfreliance
My mother is retired and has a sizable nest egg, yet instead of using that money to help settle my creditcard balance, she spends it on tours of Europe and Mediterranean cruises.
After losing my job and watching my creditcard debt swell, I had hoped to lean on my mother, who had always been my biggest cheerleader. The reality, however, proved otherwise. My mother, now retired with savings she had painstakingly built over her lifetime, decided it was finally her turn to enjoy herself.
I kept seeing her post pictures on social media, beaming in European capitals, sipping cocktails at sunset on lavish cruise decks. Meanwhile, I was scrambling to stretch each paycheck, juggling bills and dodging calls from banks.
One evening I finally confronted her.
Mom, I said, I know you have money saved. Could you help me clear this debt? Im really struggling right now.
She looked at me calmly, lifted her glass, and replied,
Sweetheart, Ive worked my whole life, saved diligently, and denied myself luxuries so you could have everything you needed. Now that I finally get to see the world, do you expect me to put my own happiness aside for your financial mistakes?
A lump formed in my throat.
I love you, but Im not going to spend my retirement fixing your problems while I stay at home, she continued. Youre an adult now; its time you stand on your own feet.
Her words stung, yet they also forced me to think. I realized that, as much as I wanted her financial support, she too deserved to live the life she had earned.
Perhaps it was time for me to take responsibility, chart my own course, and stop counting on her happiness being contingent on my difficulties.
