A later gift truly marked a comeback.
When I was eighteen, I found out I was expecting. My parents werent supportive; they thought it was far too soon for me to have a child. My husband had just been drafted into the army. Both grandmothers had the exact same attitude:
The baby is your responsibility.I don’t want to look after your child right now, Mum told me.
The baby is your responsibility.
I don’t want to look after your child right now, Mum said again.
My mother-in-law wouldnt speak to me at all. So, I moved in with my fathers sister, my Aunt Margaret.
She was thirty-eight at the time, childless, and had devoted her life entirely to her career. She didnt judge Mum and Dad:
I understand themit wasnt easy when you were born. They worked incredibly hard for you. There were times when there was hardly enough to eat. Your father used to unload lorries late at night just to bring in some extra cash.
But now, theyre well off. Dad has a good salary, they own a two-bedroom flat, Mum has a steady job. And here I am, about to have a baby myself.
Do you really think they wont come round?I asked Aunt Margaret.
They just want to finally live for themselves. You shouldnt judge them. Im sure theyll come to their senses eventually.
I received no support from them. I packed my things and moved in with Aunt Margaret.
When my husband returned from the army, our son was eighteen months old. While he was away, his mum never once came to see her grandson. My own parents visited only twice.
My husband went to work as a car mechanic and tried to finish his studies at the same time, but that proved impossible. We continued living with Aunt Margaret. When our son started attending nursery and I landed a job, Aunt Margaret had to relocate to another part of the country. So, we moved into a rented flat. Not long after, my husbands grandmother passed away.
My mother-in-law sold her late mothers flat, did all the renovations herself, and bought everything shed ever wanted. My husband pleaded with her not to sell, offering to pay her a monthly sum and eventually buy the flat back. But it came to nothing.
Why should I compromise my interests and my life? Ive wanted to renovate for ages. Are you going to do all this for me?was her answer.
Five years later, our daughter was born. We knew we needed a home of our own. My husband began working abroad. Still, saving up for a flat wasnt easy. We stayed in our rented place with the children.
Meanwhile, Mum lived alone in a three-bedroom flat; Dad had divorced her two years earlier. Yet, oddly, she couldnt make room for her own daughter and grandchildren. My mother-in-law was no help eithershe was always refurbishing and had no intention of assisting.
My husband worked overseas, and after a few years, we managed to buy our own flat. Without a single penny of help.
Now, our eldest son is finishing Year 8, and our daughter is in Year 2. They know the value of money. We saved every pound, and our financial troubles are behind us. We each own a car, and we holiday by the sea every year.
The only person we are truly grateful for is Aunt Margaret. She can ring us anytime and ask for help.
Our parents, on the other hand, have faced hard times. Mum was recently made redundant and called asking for help, but I refused.
My mother-in-law is in much the same position. Shes retired, refused to live within her means, and spent all the money she got from selling her old flat years ago. My husband refused to help as well. He advised her to sell her big, refurbished flat and buy a small one-bedroom place.
My husband and I owe nothing to anyone. We treat our children very differently from how our own parents treated us. Well always be there for them, in any way we can. I believe well be able to rely on their support in old age.
