When Mum Becomes a Guest: Why I Don’t Open the Door Anymore
Emily arrived in another town to visit her daughter, Sophie. The welcome was polite, as one might expect, but hardly warm. Emily, worn down by loneliness and strained ties with her own parents, decided to linger for a few days. Over dinner that evening, Sophie suddenly asked:
“Mum, when are you going home?”
“I thought I might stay a little longer,” Emily replied hesitantly.
“I think it’s time you left,” Sophie said firmly.
“Fancy that—even my own mother’s in the way now,” Emily muttered under her breath.
“Mum, after everything you’ve done, I don’t want you here,” Sophie shot back.
“What? What have I done?” Emily froze, baffled.
But Sophie remembered all too well.
She was only seven when her parents split. From then on, she lived with her grandparents, who became her true family. Her mother? Emily chose another life—men, flings, new lovers. The girl grew up tangled in guilt—for the divorce, for her granddad working into his old age, for her nan always stuck at the stove. When things were smooth for Emily, she might call, even turn up with a cake. But the moment trouble struck? She’d lock herself away, snap at everyone, then vanish.
She had plenty of men in her life, but one—Gavin—was the final straw. Slippery, smug, unbearable. When Emily tried moving him into her parents’ house, they gave her an ultimatum: him or family. She chose him.
“Your mum lives on the other side of town now,” Sophie’s nan told the thirteen-year-old flatly.
“What about me?”
“You stay with us. It’s alright, love. We’ll manage.”
But Sophie knew—her mother had betrayed her.
At first, Emily didn’t show up at all. Then she’d swing by the kitchen, take jars of preserves, and disappear again. A girl grows up needing someone to talk to—first love, first heartbreak—but her nan wouldn’t understand, her granddad was quiet. Emily? Too busy with her new life until Gavin dumped her. She returned shattered, pathetic, and instead of hugging her daughter, she sobbed alone. Even when she found another man—Derek—history repeated itself. He was dreary, lazy, and rude. Moved into her parents’ place, refused to lift a finger, dodged her granddad, who carried the whole household alone.
Sophie drifted further away. Went to university in another city, visited home seldom. Emily kept cycling through men, chatting about fresh starts and making plans behind her daughter’s back. Then Sophie learned she’d inherited a flat from her paternal grandparents. Unexpected, but decisive. She took it in her name and moved out without hesitation.
Emily found out by chance. Immediately, she announced:
“Brilliant! I’ll move in with you, help with the decor, find a decent job in the city—”
“You didn’t ask,” Sophie said calmly. “I’m not living with you.”
“After all I’ve done! You wouldn’t even exist without me!” Emily flared up.
Sophie stayed silent. She remembered being small, alone, abandoned. Her mother had left her then—she didn’t need her now.
Emily sulked but didn’t give up. Called, dropped by “just for a day,” stayed a week. Sophie endured it until one day she said:
“Mum, go home. I’ve got my own life. Maybe help Nan and Granddad instead.”
“Am I in the way?” Emily sneered. “Of course. Just useful when you were a child.”
“No, Mum. You made your choice when you left me for a man. I grew up. Thanks for teaching me to depend on no one.”
Emily left. Complained to her parents, who half-heartedly sympathised but understood their granddaughter. They’d been there when she cried at night. Her mother? She was the one who drifted away. Then came another man—Nigel. Seemed steady, respectable. Wanted Sophie to meet him.
“Come by,” Sophie said.
She greeted them politely. Chatted with Nigel—just another disappointment. Four months later, they split. Emily brought up moving in again. Another refusal.
“Don’t ask me again,” Sophie said. “There’s no room for you. Not in the flat, not in my life.”
And that was that.
Sophie lives in her own flat now. Did up the place with friends. Works, builds her life. No meltdowns. No grudges. No mother.
Because not everyone who gives you life gets to stay in it.
