I feel sad. When I was needed, my daughter-in-law was kind and grateful to me. She often called, saying: “Mom, when will you come?” But now, when I’m no longer needed, I hear completely different words: “Why are you interfering in our life?”
My son Christopher got married eight years ago. At the wedding, my husband and I gave him and his wife an apartment. It was my mother’s apartment, which we renovated and furnished. In the beginning, my relationship with my daughter-in-law was good.
We respected each other, wished each other well on holidays, and gave presents. I tried not to interfere in the young couple’s life because both my husband and I were still working at the time.
Besides, I remember my own mother-in-law, who was always meddling in my life. I didn’t want to be like her. I didn’t feel the need to teach my daughter-in-law how to run a household—life would teach her that, and you can find the answer to any question on the Internet these days. If my son is living with her, that means it suits him.
About a year after their wedding, we found out that we would soon become grandparents. It was wonderful news! I promised they could always count on my help. My daughter-in-law was grateful to me.
From the very first days, the young mother needed support. Her own mother, who lived far away, couldn’t come because of her job, so after she was discharged from the hospital, I practically moved in with them, returning home only at night.
My daughter-in-law was afraid to even go near the baby:
— He’s so little, what if I accidentally hurt him? — she cried.
I had to teach her many things, and sometimes I did everything myself. For the first five months, I was the only one who bathed my grandson, while my daughter-in-law stood by and watched. I was available around the clock. She could call in the middle of the night when the baby cried or if she thought something was wrong.
Even though it was hard for me—my age was taking its toll—I patiently explained, demonstrated, and supported her. Gradually, my daughter-in-law learned a lot and started managing on her own. Yet she still called often, asking: “Mom, when will you come?”
When my grandson started going to kindergarten, I agreed to look after him whenever he got sick. The young family wanted to focus on earning money. I sewed costumes for his performances, recorded his shows to show his parents, and took him to the doctor.
I can say I was the one who raised my grandson. I was always there, ready to help. Three years ago, my husband passed away, and my grandson was the only source of joy that prevented me from falling into total despair.
Christopher assured me I was always welcome in his home. That put me at ease. But everything changed when my grandson started school. My daughter-in-law’s mother moved closer to them, and my help was no longer needed.
Later, I myself began to need help. The faucet broke, and my phone started overheating and shutting down. I called my son or my daughter-in-law, hoping for their support.
But Christopher was busy with work—they were saving money for the down payment on a larger, three-room apartment. Whenever I called, he promised to come on the weekend, but he never had time. My daughter-in-law was annoyed:
— Why do you keep bothering us? If the faucet is broken, call a plumber, and if the phone is acting up, take it to a service center. Why are you calling us? We barely have any time for ourselves, and you’re interfering in our life!
That hurt me a lot. When she needed help, I was ready to come even in the middle of the night. And now they tell me to call a plumber and take the phone in for repairs.
I barely see my grandson anymore. Now it’s my daughter-in-law’s mother who looks after him, and Christopher seems to have completely forgotten about me.
I decided not to impose any further. If they remember me—fine, if not—then that’s my fate. I don’t regret helping my daughter-in-law and my grandson. Even if I could turn back time, I would do the same. Let that stay on their conscience. I’m not going to force myself into their lives.
