When I stepped out of the bath, where Id stood under the shower for at least ten minutes, numb to both heat and cold, he was already on the sofa, tapping at his phone. The flat, as usual, looked like a battlefield. I walked past him without a word.
Oh, so youre sulking again? he muttered mockingly, not even looking up. Maybe you could start with the kitchen while the kids are asleep.
I stopped. Everything inside me tremblednot from hurt, but from a strange, fierce resolve. Suddenly, I saw it clearly: if I didnt break this vicious cycle now, Id simply vanish.
No, I said quietly. I wont start anything today.
He lifted his head and stared at me.
What do you mean, no?
I wont. I wont clean, I wont wash, I wont cook.
He laughed.
Here we go again Get some sleep, youll feel better by morning.
But I didnt sleep. In silence, I packed a baga few clothes, my phone, my documents. And I walked out the door. No explanations.
Outside, the air was cold, the wind sweeping down the street, yet I took a deep breath, as if breathing properly for the first time. I called my sistershe didnt ask questions.
Come over, she said. Ive got a spare room.
I spent three days with her. Three days without demands, without you must or you should. The first day, I slept almost all the way through. By the second, I began to think.
On the fourth day, I went back. Not homejust to the door. Where before a weary, guilt-ridden woman had stood, now someone else stepped forward. I wanted to see his face when he realised what hed lost.
He opened the door, pale.
Where have you been? Youve no idea what Ive been through with the kids! Everythings fallen on me!
I stepped inside and looked around. The same mess, the unwashed dishes, the toys scattered everywhere.
I see, I said calmly. Exactly how it looked when I was the one doing everything.
He frowned.
Dont start a row. I cant manage alone, I dont have time
Twelve-hour shifts, I cut in. Every day. And then more work at home. Now do you understand?
Silence. Then, quietly, he said:
I didnt think it was this hard.
I sat at the table and pulled out a paper.
Look, I said. This is reality.
He saw the listhour by hour, Id written down how much time cooking, laundry, the children, the house took. Beneath it, his daily tasks. The difference was glaring.
You actually worked this out? he asked, stunned.
Yes. This is our life. Yours and mine.
For minutes, he just stared at the paper. Then he stood and walked to the kitchen. He didnt speak, but I heard the water runninghe was washing up.
Dont expect me to get it all at once, he said quietly. But Ill try.
For the first time, his voice was unsteady. And I just sat in the armchair, listening to the water, the movements, the slow settling of the house.
That evening, the children went to bed early. He sat beside me.
I think Ive been a right git, he said. Forgive me.
I dont want forgiveness, I answered. Just understanding.
He nodded.
Understood.
A few days later, he bought a dishwasher. Then a tumble dryer. But the most important thing: he started waking earlier to make the childrens breakfast, and sometimes, after work, hed come to meet me so we could walk home together.
It didnt become perfect overnight. There were slip-ups, rows, exhaustion.
But slowly, he learnedit wasnt the tidiness of the house that mattered, but the people living in it.
Now, six months on, the flat no longer resembles a battlefield. On weekends, we take the children to the park. Sometimes he even jokes:
Ill do the hoovering today. Or would you rather disappear for a few days again?
And I laugh. Because now he knowsI could. But I dont have to.
He learned his lesson. For good.
