When Mindaugas told his parents he wanted to introduce them to his girlfriend, they were thrilled.
Mindaugas still lived with his mother and father, not because he was a dependent child or lacked money for rent, but because he preferred to save for his own place and avoid a mortgage. The couple supported him, sharing a spacious apartment where everyone had room and they never pried into each others lives or demanded explanations for his late returns.
He also didnt expect any handoutsno meals prepared or laundry done for himso everyone managed comfortably and saved money. Now he was ready to bring the first girl he planned to introduce to his parents: Rugilė.
What should I make for lunch? his mother asked. What does your Rugilė like?
Dont bother, Mom, Mindaugas replied with a grin. She watches her figurenever eats fried or greasy foods and doesnt drink alcohol.
Alright, Ill make something dietfriendly, his mother said with a smile.
Rugilė impressed them. She was intelligent and welleducated, though she ate very little, which slightly annoyed Mindaugass mother when Rugilė declined a light dessert she had prepared, insisting that sugar was bad for everyone.
She also noticed the sofa needed new upholstery.
Your renovation looks good, but it seems the cat has scratched the sofa, she remarked. Its cheap; I can give you a contact.
There was nothing wrong with the couch; it was only lightly marked. When their cat Mielis was younger, it had pawed at the sofa a few times, then learned not to. Until Rugilė left, Mindaugass mother had barely paid attention, but after she went, the faint scratches seemed glaring.
Overall, Rugilė was pleasant and courteous, thanking the family for their hospitality. Mindaugass parents saw no cause for alarm; her comments came from good intentions, and dietary preferences are a private matter.
For a couple of months Mindaugas and Rugilė dated, and she visited their home a few more times without any grand celebrations.
One day Mindaugas announced to his parents:
Mom, Dad, I want to move in with Rugilė. I love her, and wed like to build a life together.
His parents exchanged glances, sensing how quickly things were progressing. They reminded themselves it was ultimately the childrens decision how to live.
I understand it might be inconvenient for you if I bring Rugilė here, they said. Ill take a housing loan; I already have half the sum, so the payments wont be huge.
Fine, if thats what you want, his mother replied.
I do. The apartment I found needs a bit of work. Could we stay with you while the renovations finish? Just a month, at most.
Of course, son, live here, his mother agreed, genuinely believing it wouldnt be a problem. She liked Rugilė.
Soon Rugilė moved into the parents flat. They welcomed her warmly, telling her to feel at homea common phrase meant to put guests at ease. Rugilė took it literally, which soon caused friction.
A couple of days later, while Mindaugass mother was preparing dinner, she could not find the sunfloweroil.
Rugilė, have you seen the oil? she asked.
I threw it away, Rugilė replied with a smile.
Why?
I thought it would be healthier to eat clean, and honestly I dislike the smell of fried food.
His mother sighed. She understood the health motive but noted the familys habits: Mindaugass father loved meatballs, and everyone enjoyed baked potatoes.
Rugilė, were used to fried food, she said. I dont expect you to eat what I cook, but please dont try to change our habits.
Im sorry, I didnt mean to offend, Rugilė lowered her gaze. I was only thinking about health.
His mother felt awkward.
Fine, well manage, she said. Were who we are; dont try to change us.
She bought new oil, yet every time she cooked she felt a lingering guilt, as if she were being blamed.
The tension grew when the mother returned from work to find the livingroom windows without her favorite curtains. Instead, thin, dull gray panels hung there.
Where are the curtains? she asked Rugilė.
They were outdated, so I replaced them with my own, Rugilė replied. It looks fresher now, doesnt it?
The mother felt the room had lost its warmth, not become fresher.
I liked the old ones. Did you throw them away? she asked.
No, Rugilė replied defensively, I thought youd prefer these.
Its not my taste, the future daughterinlaw said gently. Please take the old ones with you.
Later it emerged that some dishes had simply vanished from the cupboardsomething the mother knew all too well.
They were old, so well replace them. We dont want guests using mismatched plates, she explained, adding that she had called a upholsterer to refinish the sofa, choosing the fabric herself because she trusted her sense of style.
Mindaugass mother tried not to get angry with her future daughterinlaw, recognizing that Rugilės actions werent malicious but perhaps naïve.
Rugilė, she said, sitting her down on the sofa, I understand you want to help our family, but you and Mindaugas are moving soon, and this is our home. Id rather not have changes made without my knowledge.
I only wanted to improve things, Rugilė answered quietly.
I know, but please dont arrange anything else. Tell the workmen not to come.
Rugilė was upset. That evening she told Mindaugas that her efforts werent appreciated, even though she only wanted the best. He didnt support her.
Its their home, not yours, he said. Youd feel uncomfortable if something were changed in your own house without consent.
If it makes things better, Id be happy, she replied, but they argued over what better meantsubjective for each of them.
Rugilė grew angry, and the argument stopped.
Mindaugass mother suddenly realized she couldnt wait for the renovation to finish. She had always believed she could live with anyone, being nonconfrontational, but she hadnt expected trouble to arise from an unexpected source. It seemed nothing was wrong with Rugilės good intentions; she was just exhausted.
Rugilė stopped trying to change everything, yet she still wanted to help, so she began cleaning. Ill earn my place here, she said, and she didnt mind doing the work, even if it sometimes made her frustrated.
Each square meter she cleaned earned a comment.
Today I cleaned the bathroom. You never seemed to touch it, she said. Looks like youd forgotten about it, but its done now.
Thanks, Rugilė, Mindaugass mother sighed.
I spent the whole day organizing the pantry. I threw away some old stuffeverything dated back to Mindaugass childhood, Rugilė explained.
Its fine, Rugilė
I barely managed to move the sofa; now its full of cat hair, almost causing an allergy. When we move out, remember to clean it, she added.
Alright, Rugilė
Eventually the mother counted down the days until they moved out. She lowered her hands in resignation, realizing that some things are better left unsaid; simplicity can sometimes be more troublesome than a lie.
When the couple left, Mindaugass mother wanted to celebrate.
Before departing, Rugilė hugged her.
Thank you for your hospitality. Ive enjoyed living with you.
The pleasure was mine, the future motherinlaw smiled.
They closed the door behind the young couple, and Mindaugass mother turned to her husband.
What a good boy, she beamed. Just so young.
Itll learn its own rules with time, his father replied, adding, And honestly, she did a great job of tidying up our house.
Indeed, he said, though well have to buy new dishes and a hat for you, since Rugilė threw yours away, thinking they were outdated.
Ive been saying we need a style change for ages, Mindaugass father muttered.
In the end, the relationship between daughterinlaw and motherinlaw remained cordial, though they lived separately. Mindaugass mother knew that, whatever happened, she would not repeat the experience; peace was more important than anything else.
