My son got married. When he is feeling well and wants to visit me, his wife does everything possible to keep him from coming to visit me. But as soon as he gets a little cold, she sends him to me with his sores, a bag in his hands and onward.
He and Maria have been married for four years. They do not have children yet, and they do not want any, they say they need to get on their feet first. Last year they took out a mortgage and started to get rid of it as soon as possible, they are working like crazy. I support them, first it is necessary to live for yourself and prepare the ground for the baby. I already have grandchildren from my eldest daughter, so I have someone to take care of.
Despite the fact that they have been married a long time, I do not know her well, I did not have to communicate with her somehow. She does not really want to talk, and I do not see the point in imposing. We communicate with her on the level of holiday greetings and the exchange of symbolic gifts. The only thing I managed to understand about her is that she is very suspicious, and she does not trust anyone.
Our communication with her son is completely different. No, he is not a mama’s boy, but we often call each other, he comes to visit to chat, to help around the house, once a week we go shopping with him for groceries. Or rather, it was like that until Maria came into his life. Of course, I understood that we would not communicate so much when he has a family, but I did not count on rare meetings, at least a couple of hours on weekends I always wait for him.
Maria, on the other hand, reacts very painfully when her son is not at home. She does not believe that he goes to his mother, every hour calls with checks and throws tantrums that he is with another woman, and even my voice does not always convince her. The fact that she thinks he is with his mistress is half the problem, but Maria began to suspect that I wanted to destroy their marriage. She insinuated to her husband that I was instigating him, telling him all kinds of nasty things about her. I have never interfered in their family, they are adults and will sort it out themselves, and even if I do, I will never stay, I have no reason to.
When he first came to me with a bag, I thought that was it, I kicked him out of the house. Then I looked – and he was sick. What do you have to think to throw a sick man out the door? Okay, if they had children or she was pregnant, then I would have understood why she sends him to his mother, but they have no one. It’s a young thing, it happens, they’re both hotheads. Of course, I immediately asked what happened. And when he started to tell me, I was surprised, he was defending her, too.
He said she was scared when he was sick. The temperature, wheezing, she panics, and no help from her. While he is treating himself, she clutches at her heart.
For the first time I think it’s okay, I won’t have educational talks with her. At that time he stayed with me for a week, and I never even brought him vitamins, I only called him on the phone and asked what was going on, and I also controlled him every hour. I cured him and he went back to Mary and that’s it, he won’t let go again.
I asked him what happens when she gets sick, does she leave too? No, he cures her. It’s a good arrangement: she gets attention and care, and he sends me a sick son. So we live like this, sometimes he is only sick at my place, as she writes that soon will be in the pharmacy for drugs running. She does not care that I can get sick. Okay, I would know how to take care of the sick, but I have no medical education, and health due to age unstable.
I told him that it is not good. Spouses swear they will be in sickness and in health, and she, it turns out, with him only when everything is fine, and no excuses about her fear I did not listen. This Maria is just selfish and afraid of complications and responsibility! And if something happens to me, and if he gets sick worse than a cold, what will happen? I am not even speaking about the children, they can not say that they are sick, will she shift them on him and me too?
At first he excused himself, but then he started to think about it. I understand that if they split up, Maria will tell everyone that I contributed to it, but I will not even deny it. Yes, I will have a hand in their breakup if I have to, but she will also be guilty of it. She still has time to learn to get over her fears, but something tells me that if he gets sick again and she starts picking him up, he’ll be gone for good.
