When Happiness Fades: She Belittled Me, But I Endured for the Sake of the Children
I’ve been silent for too long, hesitant to share my story.
It seemed that there are people with problems far graver than mine.
Yet now, after 30 years of marriage, I feel an emptiness within.
I want to scream out loud, to declare, “Life shouldn’t be like this!”
But who would care?
I’m 58 years old, living in a place that stopped being home long ago.
Together, yet apart.
Under one roof, but strangers.
And perhaps, it’s too late to change anything.
I Married Without Love – And Paid the Price
At 28, my parents insisted that I marry Jane.
I didn’t love her.
Back then, I thought love wasn’t all that important. What mattered was family, stability, respect.
So we got married.
Jane quickly revealed her true colors.
She humiliated me in front of friends, mocked me, said I was useless.
In public, she’d gently hold my hand, but at home, behind closed doors, she’d call me a worthless man.
Everything about me annoyed her – how I ate, how I talked, even how I breathed.
But I endured.
I endured for the sake of our children.
To keep the family from falling apart.
I believed that things would change over time.
But as time passed, it only got worse.
We lived like neighbors. Only neighbors don’t belittle each other
When the boys grew up and moved out, Jane stopped hiding her disdain for me completely.
I built an annex to the house and moved there.
No more family dinners together.
We divided everything – the fridge, the dishes, the house space.
She stored her food in labeled containers so I wouldn’t accidentally use it.
I ate separately, slept separately, lived separately.
And whenever someone mentioned:
“You two make such a strong couple!”
I felt like laughing in their faces.
Every Day – A Struggle for Mere Existence
When Jane wasn’t working, the house turned into a battlefield.
She’d yell, argue, blame me for everything.
“You’re pathetic!”
“You’re useless!”
“You’ve achieved nothing!”
I tried to keep quiet.
I thought if I didn’t react, if I just waited – it would all calm down.
But no.
She never tired of finding new reasons to insult me.
Once, I overheard her telling a friend:
“He’s not even a real man. Just a pathetic attachment to the house.”
For the first time in my life, I felt everything inside me collapsing.
I was living with a person for whom I was nothing.
And the worst part was, I had nowhere to go.
After years of working, building a home, raising kids… now I was forced to endure this just to have a roof over my head.
I don’t know why I’m still here
I could leave.
But where to?
The children have grown and have families of their own. They visit rarely, and when they do, they pretend everything is normal.
It’s easier for them to think everything’s fine.
And I don’t care anymore.
I’m just waiting.
Waiting for this nightmare to end.
Waiting for the time when I no longer have the strength to be angry, argue, or respond.
Waiting to feel, at least in my old age, that there’s someone beside me who doesn’t look at me with hatred.
I don’t know why I’m writing all this.
Perhaps to tell those who are young now:
Don’t marry without love.
Don’t live in a home where you are belittled.
Don’t endure just for the children – they will grow up and leave nonetheless.
I prayed my sons would be happier than I am.
And if my story teaches anyone what I failed to grasp – then all this has not been in vain.
