When Happiness Is Gone: She Belittled Me, But I Stayed for Our Children
I’ve been silent for too long
I hesitated for years to share my story.
It seemed that others faced problems far greater than mine.
But now, after three decades of marriage, I feel an emptiness inside me.
I want to scream out loud, to say: “Life shouldn’t be like this!”
But who would care?
I’m 58 years old, living in a house that lost its warmth long ago.
Together, yet apart.
Under one roof, but as strangers.
And perhaps, nothing can be changed now.
I married without love, and paid the price
When I was 28, my parents insisted I marry Helen.
I didn’t love her.
Back then, I thought love wasn’t crucial. What mattered was family, stability, respect.
We got married.
Helen quickly revealed her true character.
She ridiculed me in front of friends, mocked me, told me I was worthless.
In public, she might hold my hand gently, but at home, behind closed doors, she called me a failure.
Everything annoyed her about me – how I ate, spoke, even breathed.
But I endured.
I endured for the children.
To avoid breaking up the family.
I believed things would change over time.
But it only got worse.
We lived like neighbors, but neighbors don’t demean each other
When our sons grew up and moved out, Helen stopped disguising her contempt.
I built an annex to the house and moved there.
We no longer had family dinners.
We divided everything – the fridge, dishes, the space at home.
She hid her food in containers and labeled them, so I wouldn’t take her food by mistake.
I ate separately, slept separately, lived separately.
And when acquaintances said:
“You’re such a strong couple!”
I wanted to laugh in their faces.
Daily Struggle Just to Exist
When Helen wasn’t working, the house became a battleground.
She yelled, argued, blamed me for everything.
“You’re pathetic!”
“You’re useless!”
“You haven’t achieved anything!”
I tried to remain silent.
I thought if I didn’t respond, if I just waited it out, things would calm down.
But they didn’t.
She was relentless in finding reasons to insult me.
Once, I overheard her telling a friend:
“He’s not even a man. Just a pathetic fixture in the house.”
For the first time in my life, I felt everything inside me crumble.
I lived with someone who saw me as nothing.
And the most terrifying part – I had nowhere to go.
I spent years working, building a home, raising children… and now I had to endure this just to have a roof over my head.
I don’t know why I’m still here
I could leave.
But where?
The children grew up, they have their own families. They rarely visit, and when they do, they pretend not to notice.
It’s easier for them to believe everything is fine.
And I no longer care.
I’m just waiting.
Waiting for this nightmare to end.
Waiting for the strength to wane, to stop arguing, responding.
Waiting for the day I can feel, even in old age, that someone beside me doesn’t look at me with hatred.
I don’t know why I’m writing this.
Maybe to tell those who are young now:
Don’t marry without love.
Don’t stay in a home where you’re demeaned.
Don’t endure just for the sake of children – they will grow up and leave anyway.
I prayed my sons would be happier than me.
And if my story teaches anyone what I failed to realize, then perhaps it wasn’t all in vain.
