“What sort of nonsense is this? Call your family and have them come sort this mess out,” Lily fumed.

What on earth happened here? Call your relatives and tell them to come sort this mess out, Lily fumed. Im not cleaning up after them. Its bad enough Im constantly washing bedsheets because your friends keep crashing at our cottage. Theyve made a habit of it.

Listen, Mum rang earlier, her husband, James, said over dinner. She and the relatives are planning a barbecue this weekend.

Good for her, Lily replied flatly. Let them go, but whats it got to do with us? She had never warmed to her mother-in-law.

Well, they want to use our cottage, James explained, as if it were the most natural thing. They dont have one, and Ive got to be at the garage on Saturday. I told them we couldnt go, so Mum asked for the keys.

Lily had no choice but to agreethough shed soon regret it. When they visited the cottage the next weekend, she froze at the sight. It looked like a storm had passed through.

The berries had been picked, the floors were filthy, and a single pot of stale soup sat abandoned on the stove. The kitchen curtain had been taken down. Lily couldnt fathom what had happened. Jamess parents were in their sixties, for heavens sake.

She confronted him.

What on earth happened here? Call your family and tell them to clean this up! Im not their maid. Im already fed up with washing sheets after your mates stay over. They treat our place like a free B&B!

Its not the end of the world. Just chuck it in the washing machine and hang it out.

Oh, brilliant. Maybe you should do it next time! Are you seriously fine with the state of our cottage and garden?

But James didnt call anyone. Lily gave him the silent treatment before they eventually made up. Theyd only been married two years, rushed into it for lovethough lately, Lily wondered if shed been too hasty. They didnt have children yet.

Life carried on as usualwork, home, home, work. Weekends were for walks or trips with friends. Everything changed when Lilys mum suddenly remarried and moved to another city, leaving the family cottage to Lily.

Overnight, Jamess relatives developed a sudden fondness for her. Now, someone was always asking to visit the cottage. Everyone knew barbecues just tasted better outdoors!

Relatives appeared out of thin aircousins, aunts, uncles, even Jamess grandmother. They all flocked to the countryside for the river and the grill. And, of course, Jamess mates tagged along too.

They all stayed overnight. James cheerfully manned the barbecue. Lily was sick of it but didnt want to ruin relationships with his family and friends. Still, something had to be done.

Now, weekends filled her with dread. When Lily and James married, his mother was already oldershed had him late. There was also a sister, Mary, ten years his senior. His mum was from the countryside and somehow believed everything was communal property.

She and Mary helped themselves to everything at the cottagecreams, shampoos, sponges, even Lilys slippers. Then the phone rang again. His mother wanted the keys. This time, Mary was bringing her boss for a weekend of relaxation and kebabs.

As usual, no one asked Lily how she felt.

Well give Mum the keys, James said. He remembered Lilys reaction last time, but he didnt bring it up.

Lily realised she had to actand James wasnt on her side. Running through options, she rang her mum and vented.

Ill sort it, her mum said briskly.

Twenty minutes later, she called back. Her sister and husband would be staying at the cottage. Dont worry about a thing. Aunt Helen will handle it.

Lily gasped. Shed always been wary of Aunt Helen. As a child, shed been sent to stay with her a few summers, and the memories had stuck. Oh yes, Helen knew how to lay down the law.

Aunt Helen rang that evening.

Well, well, niece. Keeping quiet, are we? You shouldve called me sooner. How do you want me to handle thislightly or full force? She laughed gleefully.

Lily shuddered. Did you ever tell them the cottage is in your name? Helen asked.

I dont think so. They all assume its mine.

Dont fret, love. Itll be sorted properly.

On Sunday, Jamess furious mother called. Have you sold the cottage? she shrieked. Wheres the money? Why werent we told?

Turns out, Mary, her boss, and Jamess parents had arrived on Saturdayonly to find five people already barbecuing on the lawn.

Who are you? Jamess mother gasped.

And who, might I ask, are you? A formidable woman stepped forward. I own this cottage. I dont know you. How did you get in? Where did you get those keys?

Jamess family floundered. Mary tried explaining about family ties and borrowed keys. The womanHelenfixed her with a stern look, and Mary stumbled over her words. His mother stayed quiet.

In the end, Helen confiscated the keys, politely told them to leave, and warned against returningunless they fancied explaining how theyd gotten hold of someone elses property.

From the other room, Lily heard her mother-in-law screeching into the phone. James was baffled, unable to get a word in.

Give the phone to your wife. James handed it over. That cottage isnt yours! his mother declared.

Did you ever ask? Lily kept her voice steady. Or did you just decide everythings yours, including whats ours?

Do you realise Mary invited her boss? There are layoffs coming, and she was trying to curry favour! If shes sacked, its on you!

How is that my fault? Aunt Helen owns the place. She came for a break. You didnt even ask me. Buy your own cottage if you want to relax there. Lily stood her ground. You managed without it before.

After this, Im never going back. Neither is my family, James snapped.

It was their first real fight. James sulked. Mary got sacked. Ill never forgive you for this, he said. My family loved you, cared for you, and you lied to us.

Lily was sure Mary had been fired for other reasons. Suddenly, she realised she didnt feel sorry for any of them. And she hadnt started this. Their marriage had hit a dead end.

Mum, I think Im divorcing James.

Its your choice, love. But where will you live? Ive rented out my flat. You could stay with Helen.

Thanks, but no. Lily was stunned. Ill rent a place.

She filed for divorce, moved out, and stopped visiting the cottage.

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“What sort of nonsense is this? Call your family and have them come sort this mess out,” Lily fumed.