I was left early without a husband, he died. I had to bring up my daughter on my own. It’s good that my husband left me an apartment. I couldn’t live on a rented one. My salary was only enough to buy food.
My parents couldn’t help, they lived far away. Sometimes my mother was the only one who took my daughter to her place. In addition to my main job, I took any job I could get. I did my best to raise my daughter. I just didn’t have time for my personal life. Then my daughter went to school, graduated from college, got a job. It became easier financially, she provided for herself. And I no longer needed to work around the clock.
But the surprising thing is that I did not feel any joy from this. My daughter got married and lived away from me. Every day when I went back to my empty apartment, I wanted to howl like a wolf. No one needed me. I hadn’t arranged my personal life in my time. I didn’t have time to think about men, and now it’s too late. I gave up on myself. I wanted my daughter to be happier than me.
But life took a different turn when my daughter told me she was pregnant. I felt a new burst of energy, I will have a granddaughter, and all my free time I can devote to this little person. And so it turned out. My daughter had a C-section, I tried to protect her from stress, my son-in-law worked hard. He provided for the family, but the whole household was on me. But I was happy to take care of it. I lived again.
Then my daughter decided that she would get out of maternity leave early to build her career. And I would be with the child. Besides, the girl was enrolled in a kindergarten near my house. I retired, sometimes I took part-time jobs, but most of the time I devoted to my granddaughter. First kindergarten, hospitals, then school and recreational activities. The girl would come home from classes, I would feed her a hot lunch, then we would exercise and go for a walk in the park or to extra activities.
That’s where I met Jack. Waiting in line for nothing is boring. Young parents are all on their phones, and we are not inured, we are a different generation. Jack took his grandson to circle time. He was widowed early and took care of the baby while his son and daughter-in-law were at work. We turned out to have a lot of common topics of conversation. Jack is an intelligent man and a pleasant conversationalist. Except that I was so unused to male attention that I was completely confused when he asked for my phone number and suggested that we go out in the evening without the children. But I agreed. We started to go to the movies, theaters, cafes. I began to blossom and realize that I can still cause interest in the opposite sex.
And when my daughter called me on Friday and asked to stay with my granddaughter on the weekend, I refused for the first time in my life. My daughter said nothing. And I asked to warn me in advance, because I can have their own plans and to change them at the last moment is not very convenient.
Jack and I went to the campground and had a great time. A week later, again before the weekend, my daughter brought her granddaughter to me again and told me that they were unexpectedly invited to a birthday party. That is, she needed me to babysit. But I said that I had asked for advance notice. I didn’t feel comfortable saying no to Jack. My daughter answered me rather sharply: “What plans can you have at your age? I know all about your dates with this grandfather. Christina told me everything a long time ago. You should have looked for a man before, and you’re getting old and fluffy. I reprimanded my daughter that she couldn’t talk to me like that.
The daughter did not apologize, but continued: “So what do you suggest I do now? Refuse the offer to go visiting? What am I supposed to say? My daughter can not leave with my grandmother, my mother decided to run around with men? She was wailing that your life was over, and now she’s come to her senses. Come on, stop all this nonsense and become a normal grandmother. How can you even trade your granddaughter for your grandfather? Those words brought tears to my eyes. My granddaughter grew up in my arms. I spent so much time and effort so that my daughter did not need anything. And now I’m lucky, I met a man who is interested in me and who is interested in me.
And I have to sacrifice myself again. I helped as much as I could, but I don’t want that kind of consumerist respect for myself. I was counting on my daughter to be happy for me, and that’s how she spoke. That’s not how I raised her, that’s not how I raised her. Strongly loved and on this love and brought up selfish. It hurts and is very frustrating, but even a good relationship with my daughter, I do not want to give up the only person close to me – Jack. And if my daughter does not understand me, that is her right. I don’t refuse to help with my granddaughter, but I want to make time for me as well.
Do you think the main character has the right to a personal life, or should she have thought about it when she was young and not now? What advice would you give?
