We were both 22 when we broke up. One day, he just told me he didnt feel the same way anymore, that he needed something different.
A few days later, I heard from one of our mutual friends. She called me out of the blue and asked,
Is it true hes seeing an older woman?
Confused, I asked her what she meant. Then she sent me a photohim in a pub, arms around a woman at least ten years his senior. There was no room for gossip; it was real. When people asked me about it, I didnt make up stories. I simply said the truth: he left me to be with someone much older. Thats when everything started.
A week later, another friend messaged me on WhatsApp:
Hey, are you alright?
I asked her why she was checking in.
She replied, Just hes been saying odd things about you.
When I pressed for more, she told me that hed been saying I didnt shower, that my underarms smelled, that I had bad breath, and once, hed seen lice in my hair. I just stared at my phone, unable to respond.
The comments kept coming. Another friend rang to say hed shared these things at a gathering, laughing with others. Hed actually said,
Youve no idea what I put up with.
When someone asked why he hadnt left me earlier, he replied:
Out of pity, I suppose.
I noticed the changed lookspeople who used to greet me warmly now eyed me oddly. A colleague whod always competed with me handed me some deodorant, saying, Just in case. I was stunned by how fast a lie could spread. Hed said it once, then repeated it, and kept embellishing.
Eventually, I decided to message him:
Why are you saying these things about me?
He didnt reply for hours, and when he did:
You started lying about me first.
I told him I hadnt liedId only told people that he was seeing someone else. He said,
Thats no ones business.
He never denied what hed said about me. He never tried to stop the rumours, never corrected anyone. He just let them spiral.
Meanwhile, he was happily out and about with his new partner, demanding everyone ignore the age gap. I was left with the fallout.
Even though our relationship had finished, the gossip filled months of my life. I had to change my routine, avoid certain places, and cut ties with people who kept circulating his stories. He just moved on with his life.
All too often, its women who bear the brunt when men feel insecure.
