We were both 22 when we broke up. One afternoon, he told me something had changed and that he needed “something different.” Only a few days later, I found out the rest from a mutual friend. She called me and asked,
Is it true hes seeing an older woman?
I asked what she meant, and she sent me a photo. There he was, sitting in a pub with his arm around a much older woman. It wasnt gossipit was real. When people asked, I didnt try to cover it up. I simply said hed left me for someone much older.
Thats where it all started.
Just a week later, another friend messaged me on WhatsApp:
Hey, are you okay?
I asked her why she was asking. She replied,
Its just hes been saying some strange things about you.
I didnt understand, so I asked her to explain. She told me hed been telling people I didnt shower, that my armpits smelled, that I had bad breath, and that hed once seen lice. I froze, staring at my phone, unable to type anything back.
Then the comments started to pile up. Another friend rang to say hed joked about it at a gathering, laughing in front of several people. Hed said,
You have no idea what I had to put up with.
And when someone asked why he hadn’t ended things sooner, he replied,
Out of pity.
I began to notice the looks people gave me. Those who used to greet me warmly now treated me differently. A colleaguealways a bit competitivehanded me deodorant, “just in case.” It was shocking how quickly a lie could spread. Hed said it oncethen repeated it, reinforced it, even exaggerated it.
Eventually, I messaged him:
Why are you saying these things about me?
He replied hours later:
You started lying about me.
I told him Id only ever told the truththat hed left me for an older woman. He snapped:
Thats none of anyones business.
He never denied what he’d said. He never tried to stop the remarks. He never corrected anyone. He just allowed it all to continue.
Meanwhile, he paraded around town with his new partner, but insisted no one mention the age gap. I was left as collateral damage.
The relationship ended, but the whispers dragged on for months. I had to change friends, avoid certain places, and distance myself from those who kept repeating his stories. Life moved on for him.
Too often, women bear the brunt when men feel insecure.
In time, I learned an important truth: A person’s worth is never defined by whispers or rumour. You dont have to accept what others say about youyour character always shines brighter than any shadow others might try to cast.












