**Diary Entry 18th June**
Never thought Id admit aloud, I dont want the grandchildren to visit. Even Im ashamed of the thought. But every story has two sides, and perhaps, hearing ours, youll understand why my wife and I hide inside our own flat.
Im 67; my wife, Margaret, is 65. We became grandparents youngour daughter, Eleanor, was barely 30 when she had her first. Little Charlotte arrived, and it felt like a second wind. Wed push her pram through Hyde Park, dote on her, buy toys, spoil her rotten. Wed joke, Young grandparents get to enjoy it all! Back then, it truly felt like a blessing.
Then came the secondanother girl, Amelia. We adored her just the same, took them weekends, helped where we could. Eleanor never asked; we insisted. We love our children and grandchildren. But then came the third pregnancy twins. And suddenly, everything changed.
With the boys, Oliver and Henry, our home turned to chaos. No more quiet Sundaysjust a full-blown nursery. Shouting, sprinting, endless tears. We didnt stop loving them. We just grew weary. Not of love, but exhaustion. Id had heart surgery, and Margarets doctor forbade heavy lifting. Yet Eleanor seemed oblivious. Shed call, Were on our way, without asking if it suited. Sometimes, theyd turn up unannounced, as if it were duty.
One day, spotting them from the window, I whispered to Margaret, Lets pretend were out. She nodded silently. We killed the lights, held our breath. They knocked, rang the bell, even jangled keysbut we stayed hidden like frightened children.
After they left, Margaret cried. Not from joyfrom bitterness. How did it come to this? she asked. I had no answer.
We love our grandchildren, but were not a free nursery for the elderly. We want peace in our later yearsjust the two of us sometimes, a book, a show at the West End. Were not obliged to be full-time babysitters.
Eleanor was hurt when she realised wed ignored them. Called us selfish. But I ask: is it selfish to want quiet, respect for our time?
I write this not to justify myself. Only to say: growing old isnt a life sentence. Even grandparents deserve rest and boundaries. Loving grandchildren doesnt mean letting them trample us. Its caring for themwithout forgetting to care for ourselves.
