“Oh, very well, we wont kick you out for the holidays. Just prepare three bedroomsmy sisters and niece will be staying over. You can sleep in the kitchen.”
“Margaret, have you forgotten Im the sole owner of this house? Ive got the paperwork to prove it. So dont even think about barging inIll have you escorted out by the police.”
After work, Valerie planned to pop into the shopping centre. Christmas was just two weeks away, and her old friend Olivia had invited her over.
Valerie knew the gathering would be livelyOlivias daughter with her husband and kids, her sister, and a niece who was still at university. Valerie had visited often and knew them all well, so she wanted to pick up gifts in advance.
Gift-giving was her forte, and she relished the joy of it. Already, she could picture herself weaving through festooned aisles, deliberating over options, watching as shop assistants wrapped her choices in glossy paper.
But her mood soured the moment she stepped outside. Waiting by her car was Rita, her ex-husbands sister.
“Val! There you are!” Rita chirped. “Took you long enoughIve frozen solid!”
“Good evening, Rita. Didnt expect to see you here.”
“Why not? Familys family,” Rita said brightly. “At least, we were for twenty years.”
“Luckily, not anymore,” Valerie replied, reaching for her car door.
Rita stopped her. “Listen, Val, Ive got a favour to ask. Well, more like the whole family does.”
“Which family, Rita? Ive had no ties to yours for a year. Spare me the requests.”
“Oh, come on, just hear me out. I dont know how you and Michael split things, but Mum still thinks that house youre in belongs to us.”
“You and Michael bought it together, and he spent ten years doing it up. We all used to gather there for Christmas, Eastereverything. And now? Mum wanted to host her birthday in May, have everyone over on the terrace like always, but you just swanned off somewhere!”
“I dont see why youre telling me this,” Valerie said coolly. “I went to see a friend. Simple as that. Sorry if I forgot to ask your permission.”
“And forget about your cosy little reunions in *my* house. When Michael and I divorced, we agreed: flat, car, and garage for him, the house for me. All legally signed. So feel free to crowd into Michaels flat instead.”
“Val, Mum just wanted to host New Years Eve there, like old times. Weve got loads comingno room for everyone otherwise.”
“*Margaret* asked nicely? Thats new. Twenty years of demands, and suddenly shes polite? Rita, tell her no. And book a hotel for the relatives.”
Valerie got in her car. The thought of gift shopping had lost its charm. “Tomorrow,” she decided, driving home.
She and Michael had been married nearly twenty years. The house Rita mentioned had been theirs for ten. Then, a year ago, hed announced that “life doesnt end at forty-five” and left for his pretty young secretary.
Valerie hadnt fought to keep him but refused to be short-changed. She kept the house and savings; he got the flat, a Jaguar, and the garage. Since their daughter, Emma, was still at uni, Michael didnt touch their joint account.
A few days earlier, Emma had called to say shed be spending New Years in halls. “Mum, you dont mind, do you? Ill be home for the whole break after.”
Valerie had then accepted Olivias invite. At least there, she wouldnt feel alone.
Knowing Rita, though, she guessed this wasnt the endand she was right. That evening, her ex-mother-in-law called.
“Valerie, arent you getting a bit above yourself? Snatching Michaels house and now acting like we cant touch you?”
“Well, heres news: this New Year, the whole familys celebrating in *our* housethe one my son *graciously* let you stay in. Understood?”
“Oh, fine, we wont chuck you out for the night. Prep three bedroomsmy sisters and niece are staying. You can bunk in the kitchen.”
“Margaret, need I remind you I own this house? Legally. So unless you fancy a police escort, stay out.”
“Well see who escorts whom! Just have the rooms ready. Well bring the food, so youre off the hook for cooking. And dont argue, or youll remember this New Year forever!”
*Honestly, has Michaels mum lost the plot this year?* Valerie mused. Margaret had never been a saint, but this was bold even for her. Did she really think threats would work?
Once, Valerie had been the model daughter-in-lawthe other two wives had bowed to Margarets rule. Now, divorced, her exs familys antics just baffled her. What were they playing at?
Meanwhile, at Margarets flat, plans were underway.
“Rita, you and Alex handle the food. Buy everything ahead. Well cook on the 30th and morning of the 31st.”
“You and I will do the roast and trimmings. Sarah and Lily can sort the sides. Pack it all in containerswell use Valeries dinner sets. I know shes still got two. Michael didnt take them.”
“Mum, what if she digs her heels in?” Rita asked.
“Let her try! Therell be twelve of usthe whole clan. Shed be mortified to turn us away! Imagine itUncle Colin, Aunt Louise, Lenny and Natalie all on the doorstep. Think shed slam the door? Shell fold, help set the table, and play hostess like always!”
On New Years Eve at 9 p.m., four cars pulled up outside No. 14 East Lane.
“Odd,” said Alex, Ritas husband. “Lights are off. Maybe shes out?”
“Where would she go?” Margaret scoffed. “Shes home. Emma too, probably. Theyre hiding. Ring the bell.”
No answer.
“WaitIve got keys,” Margaret said smugly. “Knew shed pull this. Came prepared.”
They trooped into the garden, then the house. “Right, lights on, food to the kitchen. Well set up quick. If Valeries hiding, finewe wont invite her to eat.”
Twenty minutes later, commotion erupted in the hall.
“Here comes the lady of the house,” Alex joked.
But it wasnt her.
Meanwhile, Valerie was helping Olivia set the tableguests were due any minutewhen her phone rang.
“Ms. Valerie Keating? Your home alarms been triggered. Officers are on-site.”
“Twelve individuals claim to be relatives with your permission.”
“I didnt invite anyone. Likely my exs family. Theyve let themselves in.”
“Will you be pressing charges?”
“Absolutely. Im away till the 2nd.”
The uninvited guests spent hours at the station. By the time they straggled back to Margarets, the salad had wilted and the roast was cold.
When Valerie returned home, Michael called, demanding she drop the charges.
“Val, I thought youd changed the locks. Didnt you?”
“No need to wreck the door. I just added an alarm.”
“So why lock the old one when you left?”
“I had a hunch your mum would show upheard how she spoke to me. Didnt want her breaking in.”
“You set them up! You *wanted* them arrested!”
“Mike, they had a choicecelebrate at home. They picked my house. Meeting the police was their doing, not mine.”
“By the way, I had to air the place out. What theyd laid out had gone off by the time I got back.”
“Why didnt you warn Rita about the alarm?”
“Didnt I? There are signs: Under Police Surveillance. Everyone can read.”
“Anyway, pass on my regards to your mum, Rita, Alexthe whole lot. And tell them theyre not welcome again.”
“Ive withdrawn the complaint this time, but next time, the law wont be so lenient.”
So, what do you make of the ex-familys antics? Share your thoughts below! And dont forget to like.
