You know, the village turned on Barbara the very day her jumper couldnt hide her rounding belly any longer. Andwouldnt you know itat forty-two! A widow, no less! The whispers were relentless.
Her husband, Simon, had been resting in the churchyard for a decade, and nowlook at thatBarbaras carrying. Scandalous, they all muttered.
From who? the women would hiss by the green.
No idea, others replied. Shes so quiet, so mild but look whats happened! Pregnant out of wedlock!
Mothers carrying on when their daughters should be of marrying age? Its a disgrace!
Barbara kept her gaze pinned to the ground, sturdy postbag heavy on her shoulder as she walked back from the post office, lips drawn tight. She never looked anyone in the eye.
If only shed known how all this would unfold, she probably wouldnt have gotten involved. But who could resist when your own flesh and blood is sobbing her heart out?
And thats just itit never started with Barbara at all, but with her daughter, Mary.
Mary was a real stunnerspitting image of her late father Simon. He too was the handsome one in the village, with his fair hair and blue eyes. Mary mirrored him entirely.
Everyone in the village would turn for a second look at her. Her younger sister, Kate, was more like Barbara; dark-haired, brown-eyed, serious, and quiet.
Barbara cherished her girls, loved them beyond words. She raised them single-handedly, slaving away at two jobsdelivering the post by day and scrubbing at the dairy farm in the evenings. Everyone knew it was all for the girls.
You two need a good education! shed tell them. Dont want you stuck like me, hauling a mailbag forever and covered in muck. You need the city. Make something of yourselves!
So off Mary went to London as soon as she could. Got into a college for business and attracted plenty of attention right off. Shed send photosone day in a posh restaurant, another in some stylish dress. She found herself a fiancé as well, the son of some manager. Mum, hes promised me a real fur coat! she wrote.
Barbara was over the moon, although Kate kept quiet and brooding. Shed stayed in the village after school, got herself a job at the hospital as a healthcare assistant. Shed dreamed of training as a nurse, but there just wasnt the money for it.
Every penny of Barbaras widows pension and her wages went to supporting Marys shiny new city life.
***
One summer, Mary came home. Not her usual sparkling, gift-laden self, but pale and withdrawn.
She didnt leave her room for two days. On the third, Barbara went in and found her sobbing into her pillow.
Mum Mum Ive ruined it all!
And out it all came. That golden fiancé had ditched her. She was four months pregnant.
Its too late for an abortion, Mum! Mary wailed. What am I supposed to do? He wants nothing to do with me! If I have this baby, Ill get kicked out of college. My lifes over!
Barbara sat as if shed been struck by lightning.
You you werent careful, love?
What difference does it make? Mary shrieked. What now? Shall I put him in a childrens home or leave him on a doorstep?
Barbaras heart nearly gave out. How could Mary suggest abandoning her own grandchild?
That night, Barbara didnt sleep a wink, wandering around the cottage like a ghost. By dawn, shed made up her mind. She sat on Marys bed.
Its all right, she said firmly. Well see this through.
Mum! What? People will find out! The shame!
No onell find out, Barbara insisted. Well say hes mine.
Mary stared in shock.
Yours? Mum, do you hear yourself? Youre forty-two!
Hes mine, Barbara repeated. Ill say I went to stay with Aunt Margaret in the county to help her out and had the baby there. You head back to London and finish your studies.
All this, Kate heard through the thin wall. She lay biting her pillow, tears streaming. She felt wretched for their mumand disgusted by her sister.
***
A month later, Barbara left the village. People gossiped for a while, but soon forgot. Six months on, she returnedwith a tiny blue bundle.
Here you go, Katie, she said to her pale daughter, meet your brotherMatthew.
The village was scandalised. So much for quiet Barbara! The widow!
From who? the women at the bus stop whispered. Is it the vicars?
No, too old. Must be the farm managershes single and a looker!
Barbara didnt react, enduring all the gossip in silence. Life became relentlessMatthew was a restless, noisy baby, and Barbara was constantly on the brink of exhaustion. Mailbag, farm shifts, and now sleepless nights, too. Kate helped in silence, washing nappies, rocking the brother, but inwardly seething.
Mary wrote from the city. Mum, how are you? I miss you! Im skint at the moment, but when I can, Ill send money soon!
A year later, ten pounds showed up. And jeans for Katetwo sizes too small.
Barbara did her best. Kate stuck by her side. Life wasnt kind to Kate; lads avoided her, none wanted a wife with a chequered mother and a bastard brother.
Mum, Kate said one night at twenty-five, maybe we should tell the truth?
Dont you dare, love! Barbara panicked. Wed ruin Marys life! Shes married now, to a good man.
Mary really had sorted herself out. Graduated, wed some wheeler-dealer, moved up to London proper.
Her postcards came from Egypt, Turkey, always standing somewhere glamorous. Never a question about her brother. Barbara wrote instead: Matthews started school. Top marks, clever lad.
Mary would send back some expensive but useless toy for village life.
And time rolled on. Seventeen years passedMatthew grew up astonishing everyone, tall, blue-eyed like Mary, cheerful, hardworking, doted on Barbara and Kate.
Kate got used to it all; by then she was senior nurse at the county hospital. Old maid, people sighed behind her back. Shed quietly resigned herselfher whole life for her mum and Matthew.
Matthew finished school with top grades.
Mum! he announced, Im going to London! University there!
Barbaras heart clenched. Londonwhere Mary lived.
How about our county university? she tried, wary.
No, Mum! Got to make my own way! Besides, one day Ill buy a mansion for you and Kate! Youll see!
Then, on the very day Matthew sat his final exam, a gleaming black BMW pulled up at the gate.
Out stepped Mary. Barbara gasped. Kate, standing at the doorway with a tea towel in hand, froze.
Mary was nearly forty, but looked like shed stepped off a magazine coverthin, posh suit, dripping with gold.
Mum! Kate! Hello! She hugged them, then glanced around.
And saw Matthew, who was just wiping his hands after tinkering in the shed. Mary stopped, staring. Tears filled her eyes.
Hello, Matthew greeted her politely. Youre Mary? My sister?
Sister she echoed. Mum, we need to talk.
They all went inside.
Mum Ive got everything. A home, money, a husband but no children. Her mascara started running as she sobbed.
Weve tried everythingIVF, specialistsnothing. My husbands furious. II cant take it anymore.
Why have you come, Mary? Kate asked sombrely.
I Im here for my son.
Have you lost your mind? What son?
Mum, dont shout! Mary snapped. Hes mine! Mine! I gave birth to him! I can give him a real future! He could have any university, a home in London. My husbands fine with itI told him everything!
Everything? Barbara gasped. Did you tell him about us? About the shame we suffered? The years Kate
Oh, Kate! Mary cut her off with a wave. Shes spent her life in the village, shell be fine. But Matthewhes got a chance! Mum, please! You saved my life oncethank you! Now let me have my son back!
Hes not a possession to hand over! Barbara cried. Hes mine! I brought him up! Stayed awake at night, cared for him! Hes
At that moment, Matthew walked in. Hed heard everything, stood there pale as a sheet.
Mum? Kate? What whats she talking about? Son?
Matthew! Son! Im your real mum! Do you see? I gave birth to you!
Matthew stared at her as if she were a ghost, then turned to Barbara.
Mum is it true?
Barbara covered her face and broke down. Kate, quiet Kate, suddenly exploded. She marched over to Mary and slapped her so hard Mary staggered against the wall.
You cow! Kate screamed, eighteen years of pain, resentment for her mother, her ruined life pouring out. Mum?! What kind of mother were you?
You abandoned him like a puppy! Did you care that our mother couldnt walk the village for years? That everyone whispered? Did you care that because of your mistake Im aloneno husband, no family? And now you turn up, wanting to take him away?
Kate, dont Barbara whispered.
No, Mum! Enoughs enough! Kate spun to Matthew. Yes, thats your mother, who dumped you on mine so she could live the high life in the city! And that, she jabbed at Barbara, is your grandmother! She gave up her own life for both of you!
Matthew was silent for ages. Then, slowly, he knelt in front of weeping Barbara and hugged her.
Mum he whispered, Mum.
He looked up at Mary, crouched on the floor.
I dont have a mother in London, he said quietly, firmly. Ive only ever had one mother. Here. And a sister.
He stood and took Kates hand.
And you auntie youd best go.
Matthew! Son! Mary yelled, I can give you everything!
I already have everything, Matthew said. I have a wonderful family. You have nothing.
***
Mary left that very evening. Her husband, whod watched the whole scene from the car, never got out.
They say a year later he dumped Mary for someone elsesomeone who gave him a child. Mary was left on her own, her money and her beauty for company.
Matthew never did go to a London university. He signed up at the county polytechnic, trained as an engineer.
No, Mumthey need me here. Weve a new house to build together.
And Katewell, after all the shouting that night, it truly was as though something heavy lifted from her. She bloomed, even at thirty-eight. The farm manager everyone used to gossip about started taking an interesthandsome, widowed.
Barbara watched them and wept, but this time, her tears were only happy ones. Shed made mistakeswho hasntbut a mothers heartit can weather anything.
