The Ungrateful Daughter-in-Law
“Oh, there you go, pulling a face again!” grumbled Barbara. “Couldn’t you at least say thank you? You seem to be good only at making faces!”
Nancy looked at her mother-in-law, barely holding herself together. She was so fed up with Barbara constantly interfering in their lives with her so-called good deeds.
Today, she had brought a cat into their home, even though no one had asked for it. A couple of days ago, cockroaches had started coming in from the new neighbors. They had just moved in and were tidying up a flat that had been vacant for a long time. They decided to get rid of the uninvited guests, but the pests mistakenly ended up visiting Nancy and Tim, an incident Tim accidentally mentioned to his mother. But what did that have to do with a cat?
“Cockroaches aren’t mice, why do we need a cat?”
“Why? Everyone knows cats eat cockroaches!” said Barbara confidently.
“I’ve lived with cats all my life and never seen one eat a cockroach!” answered Nancy, shaking her head. “And that’s not even the point. You’ve forgotten Tim’s allergic to fur!”
“Well, he can tolerate it for a bit!”
“No, Barbara. You’re going to take the cat back to where you found it. If we had wanted a pet, we would have gotten one ourselves!” Nancy snapped.
“That’s not for you to decide! Tim will be home soon, and he’ll settle this.”
Tim came back from work half an hour later. In the meantime, Barbara was running around with the cat, searching for the roaches Nancy had already dealt with using traps, ensuring they wouldn’t stick around.
Barbara didn’t find any cockroaches but tried convincing herself and Nancy that they were just hiding and would definitely come out at night. She even named the cat Chester…
Tim didn’t immediately notice the new addition. He took off his coat and went to the bathroom to wash his hands when he stepped into something wet with his sock.
“Nancy, did you spill something in the bathroom?” he shouted, turning on the water.
His wife rushed to him. Seeing the puddle, she immediately knew who was to blame.
“No, it was your mom’s doing!”
“What?” he smirked. “The toilet’s right there!”
“She’s found a new way to mess up our lives!” complained Nancy.
“What happened this time?”
“She’ll explain herself, be patient. And you better remove and burn those socks!”
“Burn them?”
Tim looked puzzled at his wife. After washing his hands, he removed a sock and sniffed it. The smell was unmistakable, but… Ew!
He threw a rag on the puddle, washed his hands again, then scrubbed his feet with soap before heading to the kitchen. There, his mom sat on a chair, scratching the ears of a grumpy-looking grey cat.
“Mom?”
“Son, let me explain! Remember you mentioned the cockroaches! Chester here will catch them all! I guarantee it!”
Tim listened to his mom, blinking, when suddenly he sneezed loudly, once, twice, and again.
“Well, as your Chester gobbles up the cockroaches, he’ll send your son into an allergy frenzy!” Nancy said sarcastically. “There’s a reason we don’t keep pets!”
“He’ll get over it!” Barbara huffed again.
Tim sneezed repeatedly, unable to bear it anymore.
“Mom, get rid of the cat, quick!”
“What about the cockroaches, Tim?”
“I said get rid of it! Quick!”
Barbara clicked her tongue in frustration and headed to the front door. She put the cat out in the hallway and returned to the kitchen.
“Well, don’t complain later if the cockroaches outnumber the dust!”
“We don’t have dust!” remarked Nancy.
“You should be quiet! You don’t appreciate my help at all!” Barbara said indignantly.
“Where did you find that cat anyway? It might get lost! Clearly, it’s a pet!”
“Oh, it was just sitting by the door!” Barbara replied grumpily. “I just borrowed it…”
Nancy didn’t respond, though she was fuming inside. This was typical Barbara, grabbing someone else’s cat and bringing it into her son’s home. A bit eccentric, to say the least.
“Mom, maybe you should stop helping us so much?” Tim suggested.
Nancy had complained about his mother more than once. Barbara had a knack for getting on people’s nerves. Not long ago, they went away for the weekend, and Barbara had come over to defrost and clean the fridge, claiming Nancy never did it. She forgot theirs didn’t need defrosting because it had a frost-free feature.
She turned it off and settled down to watch TV, removing all the drawers to speed up the thawing. She watched TV until she dozed off. Woke up to a call from her husband, who asked for pasties for dinner. So, she decided the fridge could wait. She rushed home, made pasties for her husband, and got so tired she decided to return to Tim’s apartment the next day.
Tim and Nancy returned a few hours earlier than planned. Barbara hadn’t finished her foolish endeavor. Unfortunately, she had a headache that morning. They walked in to a horrible smell. Food had spoiled overnight.
The most upsetting was the visit from Nancy’s mom, who had brought over nearly four and a half pounds of smoked salmon. They couldn’t eat it all at once, so they decided to freeze it rather than let it go to waste. Nancy’s mom had assured them it would be fine in the freezer, claiming they did the same.
Nancy hailed from Sudbury, where her parents still lived, and often brought various foreign delicacies. Now, thanks to Barbara, they lost all that salmon. Such a shame!
Nancy nearly broke into tears when she realized the costs of having Barbara around. Her mom had brought such a treat, and now it was all lost!
Barbara, of course, found a thousand and one excuses. She didn’t even apologize. After that incident, Tim took back the keys to their apartment from her, but that didn’t stop Barbara from her so-called goodwill.
She started doing things openly. Once she bought kippers on special offer for Tim. He loved them and ate almost the entire tin. Nancy didn’t check the expiry date immediately; it was overdue. They hoped it wouldn’t be a problem, but it was—Tim spent three days with food poisoning and they even called an ambulance once.
A few weeks ago, Barbara asked to take a bath at their place. Her hot water was out, and she wanted to wash properly. Tim installed a heater recently. Of course, they let her. Who would’ve thought the picky lady would bring her own bath cleaner, some caustic powder?
She locked herself in and decided to clean the bath before using it. Didn’t notice something went wrong immediately. Chose not to admit it. Claimed she was uninvolved, but Nancy knew who ruined their acrylic bath.
“Why did you touch it?” the daughter-in-law demanded. “I had cleaned it before you came!”
“Oh, I know how you clean! Just spread the dirt around!”
Tim was also upset, but he couldn’t make her buy a new one. So they lived with a damaged bath, waiting for payday to replace it. Then came the cockroach ordeal, followed by the cat incident. Nancy was at her wit’s end.
“Barbara, can you stop helping us?” she asked seriously. “Tim and I aren’t kids. We know what to do!”
“Ungrateful daughter-in-law! You should be worshipping me! All you do is pout!”
“For what? The pounds of salmon we threw away? The bath you ruined? The herring that poisoned your son? That’s just part of what you’ve done! Maybe it’s enough already?”
“Should I stop visiting altogether?” Barbara asked, pretending to be hurt.
“That sounds like a good idea. Maybe we should visit you instead?”
“Yes, mom, I like that idea too!”
“And you too, Tim?” Barbara stared at him. “I didn’t expect this from you, son! Fine, I’ll never set foot in your home again!”
Barbara got up and dashed to the hallway. She hoped they’d stop her, apologize even, but nobody came to say goodbye.
When the door closed behind her, Tim and Nancy sighed in relief. Tim kept sneezing all evening; they found another puddle under the bed, and Nancy had to do a thorough cleanup to remove all the fur, but Barbara had finally taken offense. Let her be offended. As long as it’s in her own home…
