An Accidental Encounter by the River
Emma and her husband, along with their daughter, decided to shake things up—they left the hustle and bustle of London behind for a quiet life in the Cotswolds. They bought a cottage, started a little farm, and planted a veg patch. A brand-new chapter had begun. In the evenings, Emma would take their goats for a stroll by the river, soaking in the sunsets and the peaceful hush of the countryside.
“Mum, it’s getting dark—where are you off to with the goats again?” called her daughter, Sophie, bemused.
“Just down to the river—the grass is lusher there,” Emma replied. “I’ll be back in an hour, don’t worry.”
But an hour passed, then two, and no sign of Emma. Sophie grew uneasy and convinced her dad to go searching. When they finally found her, they froze—Emma was sitting on the garden bench, pale as a sheet, trembling, alternating between laughter and tears.
“Mum, what on earth happened?” Sophie asked.
“I saw something,” Emma breathed, “not a ghost… worse.”
Just an hour earlier, she’d been walking the usual path by the river. The goats grazed while she sat for a quick rest and dozed off. Waking at dusk, she scrambled up to gather them—but of course, they’d wandered into the thicket. Emma followed, only to spot something long and black rustling behind the last goat, Matilda.
At first, she thought: stoat. Then fear gripped her—what if it was rabid? The creature wouldn’t let up. Matilda began bleating, and Emma braced herself, raising a stick to defend her… when suddenly, the thing leaped, as if about to pounce.
But when it was all over and she dared to look closer, she realised—it was… an enormous pair of men’s underpants, tangled in fishing wire and hitched to the goat. Probably left to dry on a bush by some careless angler, and dragged off by Matilda’s mischief.
Emma collapsed onto the grass, laughing until her sides ached. All the tension, the fear, the adrenaline—burst out in helpless giggles. Which was exactly when her husband and daughter found her. Back home, they firmly banned her from taking the goats to the river—who knew what else might “come alive” out there?
