Two years had passed since that day, and now, there she was before me again. A striking woman walked down the High Street ahead of me, and at the sight of her, my heart seemed to stutter in my chest. It was unmistakably hermy former wife, Charlottethe one who always drew admiring glances from men wherever she went.
After our wedding, I hardly recognised my wife. She became one of those women whose hair was forever greasy, who wore shapeless jumpers and oversized t-shirts. Gone were the dresses that flattered her figure, gone was the elegant lingerie. She came home draped in baggy clothing, as if hiding herself from the world. She stopped caring for her appearance altogether; no more manicures, no hint of make-up. The gym became a distant memory. The stubborn belly left over from pregnancy stayed, along with the stretch marks and cellulite.
In those two years living together, she seemed to transform into a stranger. She grew heavier, her jumpers became ever larger. On the rare occasion I suggested she glance in the mirror, she would bristle, take offence, and retreat into silence.
There came a point when I realised the Charlotte Id fallen in love withthe vibrant, witty, beautiful woman my friends had all envied me forwas gone. She had changed so much that I could barely remember what had drawn me to her. The old Charlotte inspired me, excited me, made me proud. Now, I felt only a dull sadness when I looked at her.
The last time I saw her as my wife, she wore a huge grey shirt stained with milk, loose shorts that did nothing to hide the dimples on her thighs, and her legs were unshaven. Her hair was piled hastily in a crooked bun, wild strands sticking out at odd angles. Her face was constantly weary, marked by dark shadows under her eyes.
That evening, I told her I could no longer go on. I admitted to her, bluntly, that she stirred in me only pity and desolationno spark of love remained.
Two years have passed since then, and nowwalking past me in the streetwas Charlotte again. My heart jolted at the very sight of her. She wore a lovely blue dress, her golden curls tumbling free, her smile radiant and alive. She was slim again; the ugly duckling had transformed back into a queenone who had, through it all, raised my two children.
Only now do I understand what she truly enduredthose years when she had neither the time nor the energy to care for herself. She gave herself entirely to our home and children, working endlessly to create comfort for all of us. I lost interest; I failed to see how exhausting it was for her, or why me-time was out of reach.
Whenever I was left alone with the twins, just two hours left me worn out. Yet Charlotte handled them all day, kept the flat tidy, cooked wonderful meals, and even tried to spend time with me at the end of it all. Naturally, there was no time left for manicures or gym classes. I should have realised her body needed healing after childbirthnot berate her for not bouncing back at once.
And where could she show off beautiful dresses and jewellery? We never went anywhere. Wearing them at home was hardly practical. I see now that I was the one who denied her the chance to feel attractive.
Looking back as an outsider, I finally see that throughout our marriage, Charlotte quietly carried the entire household on her shoulders and never once complained. She always welcomed me home after work with a smile and never showed any resentment. She made our house a sanctuary for me and in my arrogance, I didn’t realize it until it was too late. All I ever needed to do was help her so she could look after herself too.
I was such a fool to lose a treasure, blind to her true worth until it slipped away.
I was so convinced of my own importance that I never considered her life, or the childrens, and in doing so, I ruined everything.
Now, as I see her todaygathering admiring glances from everyone around yet letting no one closeI am left with nothing but shame and regret for what I did. I will try to speak with her, to rebuild what little trust I can, if only to remain a part of my childrens lives, for I have already lost two precious years of their childhood
Now, admirers circle around Charlotte, yet she wont let anyone in. It seems I hurt her deeper than I ever imagined. And now I dont know what to do with this crushing guilt, now that I finally understand all that I cost her and myself.
