Two Men Around Her Neck
Well then! Choose: its either me or your brother and his circle of ladies! Youve got some nerve. First you dump your family on me, and now strange women as well? Youve really made yourself comfortable here, havent you?
Emily was shaking as she stood in the centre of the bedroom, holding out a suspiciously unfamiliar itemsomeone elses sheer stocking, which shed just retrieved from under the bed. She knew straight away: it wasnt hers.
Instead of apologising, or at the very least looking contrite, Tom pulled a face as if she, Emily, were the one whod brought another man home. He shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot, shooting impatient glances towards the hallway.
Oh, come off it, Em. You always blow everything out of proportion, Tom grumbled. It was our guest. My brother, your brother-in-law, by the way. He brought a girl over once. So what? Why does it bother you?
Emily wasnt jealous. The feeling was something elsecold and clinging. Disgust. As though shed trodden into something foul in her favourite shoes.
She watched Toms darting eyes, desperate for backup from the one who had firmly taken up residence in their flat these last six monthsToms brother, Jack, who didnt so much as lift a finger.
This is my flat, and I dont want strangers here, Emily said calmly, her anger barely contained. Your brother included. Buy your own and fill it with whoever you likeeven an elephant for all I care. But mineIm asking you both to leave.
Now it was Toms turn to be surprised, though Emily felt there was nothing to be shocked about. This was the inevitable outcome.
Oh, for heavens sake, Tom, lets just go, Jack drawled from the living room. Well find a place of our own, preferably somewhere we dont have to put up with all this drama. You know what they say: good riddance and all that.
Tom, as if acting on command, yanked a duffel bag from the wardrobe and tossed his belongings into itT-shirts tangled with jeans, a phone charger, socks, random bits and bobs.
Youll regret this, Emily, he muttered, not meeting her eye. Who else would want you but me
The door slammed so hard when they left that the glassware in the cabinet rattled.
Emily was suddenly alone in a silence that almost rang. She sat down on the bed, still clutching the wretched nylon stocking. How had it come to this? When had her cosy two-bedroom flat, her grandmothers legacy, turned into a halfway house?
Emily met Tom two years ago. They couldnt have been more different. She was quiet and reserved, awkward in social situations. He, in contrast, was loud, chatty, always on the move. Even as students, hed managed to work delivery jobs while wooing herbringing chocolates, reciting poetry, even whisking her off to restaurants now and then. To Emily, the shy and studious type, it all seemed wonderfully romantic.
His suggestion that they move in together came worryingly fastjust a couple of months in.
I cant bear to be without you, love, hed murmur, arms around her. I want to wake up with you every morning.
Emily had melted at his words. Only months later did she stumble on the truth: Tom had been thrown out of his rented room for excessive noise and just desperately needed somewhere to stay. She chose to put the best spin on it. Everyone goes through tough times. Its just coincidence, she told herself.
They lived in their little shared world quietly, if not luxuriously. In the mornings, Emily rushed to university and in the evenings, tutored to keep the fridge stocked and bills paid. Tom chipped in occasionally, at least in the beginning.
Then, after two years, their peaceful world was invaded.
Tom, didnt you say your brother was coming to London for university? Maybe invite him over for a visit, Emily had suggested one evening.
She hadnt anticipated Jacks liking for their place. First, hed turn up every other day. Then every evening. Eventually, he simply never left. Emily, raised to be a gracious hostess, cooked for and cleared up after two grown men: washing up, making beds, doing laundry. All on her own, with no help offered. She had no idea Jack would soon forget all about university as well.
Jack, arent you a student now? Werent you meant to get halls of residence? she eventually asked after three months of this arrangement.
I didnt get the grades. Ill apply again next year, he replied as if it were nothing.
Emilys heart sank. It was already clearJack wasnt planning to leave. Why should he? He had run of the lounge, hot meals prepared for him, and all his needs sorted. He could sleep in, scroll through his phone all day, and go out boozing with new mates in the evening.
Things took a turn for the worse when Tom quit his job at the supermarket, the one steady job hed held all year.
My managers an idiot, honestly, he explained. Loads of expectations, and the pays a joke. Dont worryIll do some delivery driving and look for something better in the meantime.
The job hunt dragged on. On the odd occasion Tom worked a shift, at best it was once a week. So now, Emilys flat saw two grown men lounging about all day. Both relying solely on her.
Sticking to a budget became impossible. Groceries disappeared within hourswhat was meant to last two days vanished in one evening. Utility bills crept up, and Jack and Tom didnt lift a finger to help.
Emily would come home, exhausted, to piles of unwashed dishes and dirty laundry on the bathroom floor. Dust gathered in every corner.
When she finally plucked up the courage to complain, Tom looked at her, genuinely baffled.
Oh, Emily, whats the problem? Surely you arent begrudging my brother a bowl of soup? Hes going through a tough time, adjusting to city life. Honestly, just be a bit more understanding; youre the woman, after all.
Every time, she was cast as the stingy, mean wife who moaned about food. So shed grit her teeth and get back to the kitchen, scrubbing toilets again and again, scared to wreck the fragile peace. She told herself that rough patches happened to everyone.
But when she discovered an empty bottle of cheap wine and three glasses one evening, she began to worry. And when she found the stocking that was the final straw.
Her first night alone in the flat was restless; oddly enough, the silence felt more oppressive than liberating. She even missed Jacks snoring from the living room, the low drone of the telly, the scuff of Toms slippers on the kitchen floor.
Yet by morning, the fear of being alone melted into relief. Opening her fridge, Emily found yesterdays cheese untouched, the juice still full, nobody had drunk directly from the milk bottle, no dirty crumbs or used knife on the table. She was now, once again, the true keeper of her own space.
The loneliness, though, hit harder that evening. Emily popped round to her friend Sophies house, needing to talk.
Silly girl Sophie said with a gentle smile. Theyre probably already charming some other woman senselessmaybe even the one from the other night! For all you know, Tom might have been having his own bit of fun. But honestly, does it even matter now? The important thing is youre done being a doormat for two blokes. You ought to thank whichever daft girl left her stocking behind, honestly. Otherwise, youd still be housing them both.
Back home, Emily didnt just do a tidy-up, she performed an exorcism of her old life. She binned all the forgotten socks, crumpled wrappers, and empty cigarette packetsevery haunting reminder of the lads. Even gifts. She changed the sheets, scrubbed the floors with bleach, and only then started to feel at peace.
At the end of the month, when she reconciled her bank statement, Emily was surprised to see she could finally set some savings aside for once.
A year and a half later
Emily had changed. Shed landed a job at a private school, mastered the art of saying no, and stopped trying to please everyone. She even found someone new: Peter, an engineer five years her senior, with his own mortgage (though his flat was less conveniently located).
Now she took things slowly. For six months, Emily took her time before agreeing to move in together. In the end, they decided to stay in her flat in central London, while Peter rented his out to speed up paying off his mortgage.
Everything was going smoothly until one evening, Peter set his phone aside and remarked, Listen Emily, my mum called. She needs some tests at the hospital. It wont be doable back in the village. Shell have to come up for a week or somaybe a bit longer. Would you be alright with that?
Emilys insides turned cold. Memories flashed: Jack sprawled out on the sofa, the incessant snoring, the sense she was a guest in her own home Her heart clenched in fear.
She looked at Peter, who was waiting for her answer. It almost felt as though their entire future rested on her reply. What should she dobite her tongue? Tolerate it for the sake of love? Slip back into old habits of putting others before herself?
Emily took a deep breath to calm herself.
Peter, she began, as steadily as she could, I have the utmost respect for your mum, but I made a rule for myself. No overnight guests in my homeon either side. Our home is our sanctuary, ours alone. Please dont take it the wrong way. I know it must seem odd, but its just what I need.
A heavy silence descended. Emily braced herself for accusations of selfishness, a heated row, the slamming of doors. She was ready to defend herself.
But Peter just blinked in surprise, then nodded.
Thats absolutely alright, he said, picking up his phone again. Theres no need for everyone to be under one roof, especially when weve got a spare flat. In fact, Ill look into finding her a place near the hospital so its easier for her and no ones put out.
Emily stared, unbelieving.
Youre really not upset?
Peter looked up, put down his phone, walked over and wrapped his arms around her.
What would I be upset about? Everyones allowed their own boundaries. Theres always a way to make things work.
Emily smiled into his shoulder. She had learned to say no, but more importantly, shed found someone who wasnt threatened by it. Her homeand her heartwould only open to those who understood that some places, and some feelings, are worth protecting.
