Thats not up for discussion.
Emilys coming to live with us thats not up for discussion, I said, carefully setting my spoon aside. I hadnt touched my dinner, my appetite long gone at the prospect of this difficult conversation. Weve just finished redecorating the spare room, so in a fortnight, my daughter will be moving in.
Have you forgotten something? Lucy asked, barely containing her frustration. I could see her counting to ten in her head before she continued. Like the fact that we decorated that room for the child were supposed to have together? Or the small matter that Emily has a mother she ought to be living with?
I remember that we talked about having a baby one day, I replied gruffly. Id been hoping Lucy would go along without fuss, and that this would be the end of all discussion. But that can wait a few years. You still have university to finish, and Emily isnt keen on having siblings. As for her mother I let out a bitter laugh. Im going for full custody. Its not safe for Emily to live under the same roof as that woman!
A little girl? Lucy raised an eyebrow. Isnt she twelve already? A rather grown-up sort of little girl. And whats so unsafe? That your ex-wife wont let her roam about after ten at night? Or that she actually makes Emily do her homework, threatening to take her phone or switch off the Wi-Fi if she doesnt? Frankly, your former wife sounds like a saint for not taking a wooden spoon to her backside!
You dont know the half of it, I muttered, jaw tight. Emily has shown me bruises, read out messages full of insults and threats! I wont let anyone ruin her life!
Thats exactly what youre doing by letting her manipulate you.
Lucy quietly got up from the table, leaving her soup untouched. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes; my insistence clearly giving her a headache. Shed always been warned dont rush into marriage! Live together for a few years, see how it works out But she was determined to prove everyone wrong, desperate to be the first among her friends to marry.
So why did our friends all warn her against marrying quickly? It was simple. It was my second marriage; I was fifteen years her senior and had a daughter from my previous marriage a daughter whose every whim I catered to. Separately, each fact was ordinary; but together almost a catastrophe.
Truth be told, two of those reasons didnt bother Lucy much. She liked that I was older and experienced, and she knew my divorce with Anna had been amicable. No bad blood.
But the third reason Emily. Wildly spoiled and stubborn, largely raised by her gran while her parents worked tirelessly to secure her future. I dont think Emily cared much about the divorce she knew Id never abandon her, even if I remarried. But when her mother began a new relationship that, Emily wasnt prepared for at all.
Her stepdad came down hard on rules, and with her mum working fewer hours and spending more time at home, Emily quickly realised there was no escaping the new family regime. Early curfew, homework, tutors Emily had always lagged behind in school. Gone were the days shed spend hours watching telly or playing on her computer. She was furious, so much so she started concocting stories to wind me up.
Yes, she wanted to move in with me, knowing that my work kept me out late, so shed largely have free reign. As for Lucy, she simply didnt factor her in. She wasnt about to obey a stepmother barely nine years older than herself. Emily would do anything to secure life on her terms.
***
Emilys arriving today. Please see the rooms ready and, for goodness sake, dont upset her. Shes had enough to deal with already, I told Lucy, fixing my tie and glancing at my new suit. If Id known Anna would turn on our daughter for a man But theres no going back now.
So, you really havent changed your mind? Youre seriously having Emily live here? Lucys voice was tight with hope that maybe, just maybe, Id call it off. Whos actually going to look after her? Youre barely home before eight.
Youll keep an eye on her, I shrugged. Shes not a baby. Shes quite independent.
Ive got exams soon, remember? Youre the one who always said my degree was a priority, she shot back with a wry smile. Emily had better make herself useful and not get in my way. Hopefully she knows how to do the washing up and mop the floors, because thats going to be her job for the next two weeks.
Shes not a maid
Nor am I, Lucy interrupted sharply. If shes living here, shell pull her weight. You ought to lay out the house rules for her.
***
Dad! Are you really going to let her treat me like this? I cant even go out with friends, your wife dumps all the chores on me, and she just sits there watching telly looking smug.
Lucy overheard this exchange and snorted softly. Fat chance of getting Emily to lift a finger! The sky would fall before that kid did any work.
Ill talk to Lucy, I promise. But you could try to get along with her. I know its hard, but I just cant be there every moment. Try to show Lucy youre a decent girl.
Ill try, I suppose, Emily admitted reluctantly, realising she wasnt going to get any more out of me. By the way, is it true you bought her a car?
Yes, I did. Why?
Oh, nothing! Meanwhile, you tell me youve no spare cash to send me abroad for the holidays! Ive been dreaming of that trip.
You cant go alone, youre only twelve, and I have work. Well go as a family in the summer.
But I dont want to go as a family! You dont love me anymore, do you? Emilys voice broke with a dramatic sniff. Why did you take me from Mum? Your wife doesnt want me here, and youre never around
Lucy didnt bother to listen further. She realised by now that Emily would always get what she wanted not just the holiday, but whatever else she wanted, too. That clever girl was determined to edge out anyone she considered competition for her fathers attention and money and by the looks of it, she might just succeed.
Lucy was exhausted with the arguments and quietly resolved one more fight, and shed divorce me. And, as a final sting, shed make sure the girl knew: even after the divorce, Id still be paying support. By law.
***
Lucy was right. The evening began with a barrage of complaints. Calmly, she announced her decision to file for divorce.
I want some peace in my life. Im not putting up with endless insults. I warned you, letting your daughter have her way would end badly. Spotting Emilys triumphant grin, Lucy brought her back to earth. And dont be too sure of yourself, Emily. For all you know, I might give your dad an ultimatum if he wants to see our child she patted her stomach hell have to send you back to your mum. Or something like that.
While Emily struggled to find words and I attempted to process what had just happened, Lucy grabbed her packed suitcase and left the flat. She wasnt pregnant, of course; she just wanted to rattle that impudent girl. And, perhaps, to teach a lesson to a man who clearly didnt understand a thing about children.
If theres something Ive learned through this all, its that being a good father isnt about giving into every demand or letting guilt lead your decisions. I need to listen more, weigh things more thoughtfully and remember that the people I love all have needs, not just one of them.
