Fifteen years have passed since I decided to go to Italy to work. Of course, I didn’t do it for the sweet life. My husband liked to drink, so he had a sick liver, and he died at a very young age, not yet 40.
My situation was very difficult. I was left with four children. I had no one to help me. Well, almost. I was an orphan, and my husband’s parents died shortly before he passed away. The only other family I had was my grandmother, who was 65 years old at the time. Unfortunately, there was no other way out. I left my children with my grandmother and went to earn money.
For the next ten years, my grandmother raised my children well, and I came home every 2-3 years to avoid wasting money. When my grandmother passed away, the eldest daughter, who was 27 years old at the time, took over the upbringing. She took care of two younger sisters, aged 20 and 18, and a son, aged 16.
“I was very lucky with Rebecca, my eldest daughter. She tried very hard to help me and kept saying that she would get married when her brother and sisters were on their feet. But then everything changed. My younger daughter fell in love and told me she was getting married.
I went to her wedding and was pleasantly surprised to find that she and her husband had paid for everything with Rebecca’s help. Her eldest daughter then gave me money for a gift, which she had been saving from the money I had sent her, because it turned out that she had been saving most of it.
I gave them a considerable amount of money for their wedding myself, which Rebecca did not expect, because she did not know that I had been saving a small amount of money from each paycheck for such an event!
Then my second youngest daughter got married, and she was already working and with my small help was able to buy her own house!
My oldest daughter was the last to marry. Her husband was not from a rich family, like the younger ones, so they earned everything for themselves. Before the wedding, they decided to buy a house, and then I remembered that my daughter told me that she had a considerable amount of money in the bank, which she saved every month. Later, I started sending money there as well, and a very decent amount of money was accumulated. That’s when I decided that it should go to my eldest daughter, because she had been raising the younger ones for many years, giving them her money and never regretting anything. On the same day, I transferred the entire amount of money to her name. I thought that the other children would understand me, because their sister had done so much for them, but they started quarreling with me and demanding that I give them a certain amount of money, or divide it among them, as if it were unfair.
They explained this behavior by saying that their older sister often did not allow them to spend the money I sent them on what they wanted. I was very outraged by this, because I know how hard she worked. I told my children that this was my decision and I would not discuss it, and if they wanted money, let them earn it.
I know perfectly well that my eldest daughter gave them money for pocket money, and it was not a small amount, and she constantly limited herself, although she could live to her heart’s content, as other children did.
My younger daughters and son said that if I didn’t change my mind, they wouldn’t want to see my older sister or me. And they will not come to her wedding. I don’t know what to do, because I’m still convinced that my decision is the right one, but I don’t want to quarrel with the other children either.
What would you advise me to do if you were in my position?
