People wished to see me broken… But I realized: I’m all I’ve got!
Life tried to break me. Yet I rose again.
Life is a peculiar thing.
It would give me hope, only to take it right back.
It would make me laugh, then hit me with such despair that my tears burned like fire.
It led me to people who promised to stay, but vanished the second things got dark.
It lifted me high, just to toss me into the abyss.
But you know what?
I survived.
In spite of it all.
I fell—but I got back up.
I lost everything—but found new purpose.
I was alone during the toughest times.
But that’s when I learned the most crucial truth:
I’m the only one I can truly count on.
People wanted to see me weak. But I denied them that pleasure.
I saw those looks.
Waiting for me to break.
Eagerly watching for me to give up, to completely lose myself.
I felt those eyes.
Filled with spite, venom, indifference.
They wanted to see me pitiful.
They longed to say:
— See, you’re not as strong as you pretend to be!
But you know what sets the strong apart from the weak?
The strong never give up, even when it seems there’s no way out.
I didn’t let them see me defeated.
I kept moving forward.
It was painful.
It was hard.
But I kept going.
Because if I break, no one will lift me back up.
Because if I give up, that’s my end.
I wouldn’t allow it.
I trusted people. But kept getting it wrong.
I believed.
I loved.
I thought people entered my life for more than just a reason.
I was ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my soul.
But every time…
Each time they weren’t who they claimed to be.
Different faces.
Different names.
Different words.
But beneath it all—always the same rotten core.
I grew tired of painting them in bright colors.
I grew tired of hoping this time would be different.
But then the mask would fall again…
And what stood before me was just another betrayer.
Another person who was never sincere.
And you know what remained in my eyes after that?
Not tears.
Not pain.
Just anger.
This anger doesn’t make me stronger. It makes me lonely.
My soul has no room left for tears.
They dried up long ago.
Only disappointment remains.
I wish…
I wish someone would one day change that.
That someone would break this vicious circle.
That someone would come who wouldn’t betray.
Wouldn’t lie.
Wouldn’t use me as a backdrop for their own games.
But I know—they’re far away.
Too far.
And I don’t have the time to wait.
I have no future.
I only have the here and now.
I no longer want to be someone’s shadow.
I don’t want to carry another’s pain.
I don’t want to be used.
I wish to walk my own path.
I want to be unburdened by others’ decisions, views, promises.
I have myself.
And that’s enough.
One day you’ll find me.
I know you exist somewhere.
The person who won’t lie.
Who won’t flee at the crucial moment.
Who won’t betray.
You’ll find me.
But you know what’s important?
That you don’t ask for promises.
That you don’t demand proof.
Just be.
Just understand.
Just stay.
And then, maybe…
I’ll believe again.
