People wished to see me broken… But I realized: all I have is myself!
Life has tried to break me, yet I always found a way to rise again. Life is a peculiar thing.
It granted me hope, only to snatch it away soon after.
It made me laugh, only to plunge me into such despair that tears burned my skin.
It introduced me to people who promised to stay by my side but vanished as soon as darkness loomed.
It lifted me to great heights, only to fling me harshly into the depths.
But you know what?
I survived.
Regardless of everything.
I fell — and got back up.
I lost it all — and discovered new meaning.
I was alone during the toughest moments.
But it was during those times that I learned the most crucial truth:
I am the only one I can truly rely on.
People wanted to see me weak. But I refused to give them that satisfaction.
I saw the way they looked at me.
How they waited for me to crumble.
How they eagerly anticipated the moment I’d give up, once I’d completely lost myself.
I sensed those glances.
They were filled with malice, poison, indifference.
They wanted to see me pitiful.
They wanted to say:
— See? You’re not as strong as you pretend to be!
But do you know what sets strong people apart from the weak?
The strong never give up, even when it seems there’s no way out.
I didn’t let them see me defeated.
I kept moving forward.
It was painful.
It was challenging.
But I walked on.
Because if I broke, there’d be no one to lift me.
Because if I surrendered, that would be my end.
I didn’t allow that to happen to myself.
I believed in people. But kept getting it wrong.
I trusted.
I loved.
I believed people came into my life for a reason.
I was ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my soul with them.
But every time…
Every time they weren’t who they claimed to be.
Different faces.
Different names.
Different words.
But inside—it was always the same rotten core.
I grew tired of painting them in bright colors.
I was weary of hoping that this time it would be different.
But then, once again, the moment came when their mask slipped…
And before me stood another traitor.
Another person who was never genuine.
And you know what was left in my eyes after that?
Not tears.
Not pain.
Only anger.
This anger doesn’t make me stronger. It makes me lonelier.
There’s no room for tears left in my soul.
They dried up long ago.
What remains is only disappointment.
I wish…
I wish someone would change that one day.
That someone would break this vicious cycle.
That someone would come who wouldn’t betray.
Wouldn’t lie.
Wouldn’t use me as a backdrop for their own games.
But I know—they are far away.
Too far.
And I don’t have time to wait.
I don’t have a future.
All I have is here and now.
I no longer want to live in someone else’s shadow.
I don’t want to bear someone else’s pain.
I don’t want to be the one who gets used.
I want to walk my own path.
I want to be independent of others’ decisions, views, promises.
I have myself.
And that’s enough for me.
One day you will find me.
I know you’re out there somewhere.
A person who won’t lie.
Who won’t run away at the most critical moment.
Who won’t betray.
You will find me.
But you know what’s important to me?
That you won’t ask for promises.
That you won’t demand proof.
Just be.
Just understand.
Just stay.
And then, maybe…
I’ll believe once more.
