We left the maternity ward, just the two of us. There was no one waiting to meet us, no photos being taken, and no flowers handed over. It would have looked odd anywayflowers for a man
No, Mum was alive and well, nothing had happened to her. Its just that she had no interest in keeping the baby. None at all. She told me straight out, didnt hide a thing. But I insisted, pleaded, even made a few thinly veiled threats.
After all, I was nearly 40, and still no children. What if this was my only chance? We reached an agreement She gave birth, we divorced right away, and she agreed to send child maintenance without any fuss.
At first, I wanted to refuse out of pride. But my ex-wife insisted, Lifes long. Anything can happen. Youre no spring chicken, and Im much younger. I dont want a child, but he is mine. Lets at least give you some sort of safety net. For the future
So began sleepless, anxious days, but I didnt let it get to me. After all, look at the number of single mums around! Why should I be any different? There are plenty of dads raising kids on their own, too I honestly didnt see it as a problemwhy should a child grow up worse in a fathers hands? No, young Jamie grew, put on weight, and was a thoroughly happy lad.
But when little Jamie got older, the questions about his mother started. Now, how does one explain to a child that his mum simply didnt want him? The best I could do was mumble, I found you in a cellar.
In which one? he asked.
That one, in the next building over.
From that moment, the idea of the cellar called to Jamie like a magnet. On walks, if he slipped away from me, hed peer through basement vents and softly call out, Mum? Only silence ever replied
But one day One day Jamie actually heard something! His little heart skipped and then pounded so hard that he couldnt hear anything else but its booming in his tiny chest.
The entrance hall door stood ajar, and Jamie rushed for the cellar. It was pitch dark at first, but soon his eyes adjusted. He squeezed deeper inside, trying to shout, to call. But a tight spasm pinched his throat shut, and he could only whisper, his words gurgling through tears, Mummy, are you here? Its me, Jamie Ive come for you!!!
But Mum didnt answer. Jamie stopped, sobbed anew, and tried to listen. A faint rustle from the corner, andwiping snot and tears away with a muddy fisthe shuffled in the direction of the sound.
Surely, Jamie thought, Mum was terribly illotherwise shed have come out and found him by now. No matter. He was going to find her himself, and shed be so, so happy!
Jamie followed the noise, crying and smiling together. All his friends had mothers, and now he would have one too! But in the corner, atop a pile of rags, Jamie found only a cat. A wary cat, crouching protectively over a tiny kitten.
Mummy? he sniffled hopefully.
Disappointment nearly split him in two. His legs gave way, and he slid down to the floor. Then he looked at the cat again.
When youre just five, your thoughts take a different path. Logic means something else. And sometimes, its much truer and clearer than the way adults think.
Jamie stared at the cat, thinking He remembered Molly from his playgroup, who used to boast her dad was a centaur. And Harry, who insisted (and swore it was true) his father was an alien. Why shouldnt his mother be a cat?
The cat, sensing no threat, understanding that this boy would never hurt her or her kitten, crept closer and pressed her head to his tiny palm.
So youre my mummy, then? Jamie asked, so full of desperate hope that he believed his own fantasy completely. Hed have fought anyone who dared tell him otherwise. He wrapped his arms around the cat, and she hugged him right back
I only noticed Jamie was gone after a while and, realising, I called out for him. He didnt answer. Panic set inI searched round the playground, looked through the bushes.
Jaaamie! Jamie, come out now! Jamie, where are you?
Several long, dreadful minutes ticked by, probably leaving another patch of grey in my hair, before Jamie emerged from the cellar. He walked slowly, clutching the cat and her kitten close, and told me, I found Mum. And I think this is my sister They were down in the cellar where you found me.
I was dumbstruck. Should I tell him the whole truth? But how? Staring at that hopeful little face, I just nodded along.
And how do you know its her? I asked.
He just shrugged. I just do She looked at me like only a mum does! Dad, lets go home. I think Mums tired.
Jamie was thrilled. Hed found his mum! And it didnt matter that his sister turned out to be a brother insteadeven better. Now they could play all sorts of proper boys games, and at bedtime, Mum would purr them both a story.
At nursery, his friends cheered him on. So what if his mum was a cat! Kierans dad was apparently an aeroplanehe even had a photo to prove it.
For ages, I worried about how Id talk to Jamie, how to explain it all. But after seeing his happiness, I decided to just let it be. Everything would sort itself out in time.
Home became a shambles. Jamie, his mum cat, and the kitten bounced round the flat overturning everything in sight. The cat was still young herself, and didnt mind fooling about with the boys.
You lot are driving me spare! Id grumble, tidying up yet again.
Jamie, clutching a shoelace, kitten in tow, and the cat herself stopped, glanced at me, glanced at each other then all three shrugged and went off to create more chaos. And why not? After allMum said it was allowed!
