UNWANTED MUM
Tom, sit down! We need to talk urgently. My wife had settled at the kitchen table, her jaw set with resolve.
I sat beside her. Emily dabbed her teary eyes with a tissue.
I honestly dont know what to do about Mum. She can barely get around now. If she spends this winter alone in her old cottage, she wont make it. The place is falling apart.
So, what do you suggest? I asked.
Im telling you, I dont know.
Emily, as always, youre hoping Ill have the answer, but this is your mum. Youve got to decide.
Tom, we cant take her in. Its a two-bedroom flat and weve got two boys, both practically grown. Theres nowhere for Mum to stay. Her mind was made up, I could hear it in her voicenow she was just trying to break the news to me gently. Theres that private care home here in town.
Youre not thinking of putting your mum in a care home, are you?
I see no other way, Tom. They say its decent. Shell get proper care and nursing there.
But as you said, its private, I pointed out, sceptical. How much?
Sixty pounds a day. If you pay for the month upfront, its just over one and a half grand. Thats the full worksnursing, meals, the lot. Its a chunk of money for us, but well manage somehow.
All the same, it feels rotten. After all those years she brought us jams and pickles, treats for the boysshe always did it with such love. And were packing her off to a care home.
Do you think my heart isnt breaking? We just dont have any choice.
I sighed heavily. No other options?
I thought about selling the cottage. Shes put it in my name already, but with winter coming, whod buy it? Anyway, no ones going to pay much for that damp little hut.
Have you spoken to her about this?
Not yet. Well go over on Saturday, clear the vegetable patch, and have the talk then.
Ill tidy up the lot outside with the boys, I said, shaking my head. But youll have to be the one to tell your mum about the care home.
She can stay there through till spring, and if shes not happy, well figure something out, Emily said, sounding hopeful.
It wont be just till spring, I muttered. Feels like once she goes, thatll be it.
***
Its been a week now since Doris went to the care home. She understands that her daughter had no alternative. She admits herselfits hard just walking these days, let alone living alone, nearly eighty now.
But this wasnt the way shed pictured her old age. She wanted to spend her last years among her family, but nowwho wants a sick old woman?
A nurse popped her head in.
Mrs. Parsons. Your grandsons are here to see you.
A smile spread across my mum-in-laws face as the boys came in. Ryan, the younger, was already taller than her, and Sam towered over the lot of us.
Hello, Gran! How are you?
Im alright. They feed us well, and the nurses are lovely. As always, she fussed about. Sit, sit at the table!
We cant stay long, Gran. We brought you some groceries and warm jumpers.
Thank you, dears. Doriss eyes shone. And hows school going?
All fine, they answered nearly in unison.
Make sure you study. Sam, its your last yearhave you decided what comes next?
I think Ill go to the university here.
And where are your mum and dad? Did they just send you by yourselves?
Dads gone to your cottage, Gran.
Oh, he mustnt forget to dig up all the carrotsthat gardens getting chilly now, and the cabbages too, theyre just about ripe.
Ill ring him now, Ryan said, pulling out his phone.
Dad, Gran says youve got to dig up the carrots and pick the cabbages.
Right, will do, I said.
Give that here! Gran snatched the phone and started rattling through instructions. Tom, pull up the carrots, but dont put them straight in the shedlet them dry out for three days. Once you come back, store them. Chop the cabbages with long stalks and pop them straight in too. Theres sand in that one corner; put the cabbages there stalk-down, and big carrots only. Any small onesgive to yourself!
Alright, alright. Dont worry, Mum, I reassured her.
And Tom, find my Tiddles and feed her! Shell be scared all on her own.
I will, promise.
Gran handed the phone back.
Gran, we have to head off, said Sam, getting up.
Wait! She rooted around in her purse. Hereyou both take twenty pounds each. Buy yourselves something nice.
Are you sure, Gran
Go on! I dont need money here.
Thanks, Gran!
They left and Doris wandered over to the window, watching the boys go, her eyes lingering down the drive long after theyd disappeared.
***
I parked my old Vauxhall outside our block, just down from where our neighbour Alan always parks his Ford. Alan nodded at my bags full of carrots and cabbages.
Been to the allotment? he asked.
A sort of allotmentEmilys mums garden.
Were thinking about buying a place with a bit of a garden ourselves. Kids have left home. Alan sounded wistful.
Youve got a four-bed, havent you? I asked, an idea forming.
Yeahsecond floor.
How about you swap your four-bed for my two-bed, also on the second floor? Ill throw in my mother-in-laws cottage and garden. Shes too frail to look after it now.
Alan scratched his head, interested. Thats certainly something Id consider. Let me have a look.
Talk to your wife and come round tonight.
Ill do that.
***
That evening, after a wash and a meal, I crashed out to sleep while Emily cooked dinner for the boysthe younger from football practice, the elder smitten with his first love. Seventeen already; hope he doesnt get into trouble, I thought. The younger one practically lives outdoors.
A knock at the door. Emily, drying her hands, dashed to answer it. It was Alan and his wife Julia.
Emily, can we come in? Julia smiled.
Of course! Come through. Is something up? My wife shot a puzzled look.
Havent your lot said? Julia asked.
No Emily was clearly taken aback.
Our blokes are talking about swapping flats.
Really, Julia? Emily hurried them in, then scurried to the living room and poked me awake on the sofa.
Tom, get upweve got visitors!
I staggered off to the loo. Meanwhile, Julia was inspecting every corner.
Will someone tell me whats going on here? Emily said, exasperated.
Emily, our husbands want to swap your flat and your mums cottage for our four-bed, Julia repeated, glancing about. Lovely place youve got here.
I shuffled back in, still a bit groggy. Emily rushed over.
What have you cooked up?
If it all works out, well move into their four-bed and have your mum live with us, I explained.
Emily stood quietly for a second, a mysterious smile flickering across her face.
Well then. Shall we have a cuppa, and then pop over to see your flat?
On an occasion like thisforget the tea, love, I joked. Lets have something a bit stronger.
***
We didnt sleep much that night, tossing around ideas of where to put things, laying out the rooms in our heads. Emily chattered right up until I started snoring.
You asleep already? She poked me in the ribs.
Dont tell your mum anything yet, I mumbled. Shell only worry. Once were settled, well bring her over.
***
On that drizzly autumn morning, Doris stared gloomily out the care home window, her mood as grey as the sky.
Three weeks Ive been here. It feels like the children have forgotten me. An unwanted mum. The grandkids came once, then nothing. Emilys called twice.
First time, she told me the cottageshes either sold it or swapped it for somethingthe sound of her voice was so happy. Well, I suppose itll help cover the fees. A grand and a half a month is no small sum. And theres no going back now.
Second time, she said they were busy, might visit when they could. Young people are always busy. Todays Saturday, maybe theyll come. Why did I never get round to having a mobile? Not that Id know how to use one.
So she sat, staring out for hours, thoughts growing darker. Suddenly, my car pulled up by the gates.
Theyve come! So Im not forgotten after all. But her enthusiasm cooled. Its only Tom. And he hasnt got any bags with him. Hmm, maybe somethings wrong.
She watched the door to her room closely. It finally opened, and I walked in with a smile.
Hello, Mum.
Hello, Tom. Is something wrong?
Pack your things! There was a grin on my face. Youre coming home.
Homeon a visit?
No, for good. Start packing your bits!
Oh, stop with the riddles.
Your grandsons said not to tell youthey want it to be a surprise.
Doris bustled about, suddenly full of energy. Her roommate Val, back from a check up, watched her excitedly.
Lydia, where are you off to? Val asked.
My son-in-laws taking me homefor good, he says! she beamed.
Oh, you lucky thing. My lot will clearly leave me here till I drop.
Val, your time will come. Its not easy for children, dealing with us oldies.
***
Doris watched the streets change through the car window, anxiety gnawing at her.
Why bring me home? Theres only two bedrooms therethey havent room for me. Ill be under everyones feet, keeping them up at night. I suppose theyll soon send me right back.
We pulled up as usual, and I got her bags, supporting her gently. But instead of our entrance, I headed for the block next door.
Come on in, I said.
We went up to the second floor and through a different door. The boys came barreling out.
Gran! Come in! This is our new place now! Ryan shouted.
She came inside and Emily hugged her tight.
Mum, youre living with us from now on. Comelet me show you your room.
The room was small but snug, with a new bed and wardrobe. It took her breath awayshe could hardly believe shed be living right here among us.
Just then, something soft brushed against her legs, and a familiar purr made her look down.
Tiddles! she cried. For the first time in weeks, happy tears spilled down her cheeks.
That evening, as we all sat together, I realised something: No matter how tough things seem, theres always a way to make room for familyif only you look hard enough and refuse to give up on those who need you most.
