TRAILER
Its odd how, in your thirties, you look back at your life and realize just how exhausted you are from nights out, brief flings, and an endless carousel of dates.
Thats where I was, truly depleted, when I crossed paths with a bright, witty, and straightforward girl named Emily.
Our first evening was simplewe met at a cosy café in Manchester, listened to some buskers playing in the market square, chatted about my recent promotion and her passion for contemporary poetry.
The clincher was when we discovered that both of us liked fruit in our potato salad.
There was a strange sense of inevitabilitya feeling that we ought to keep moving forward together.
Emily was the one to suggest we have dinner at her placeto give things a chance to develop beyond awkward glances over tepid coffee.
That evening, I wore my best shirt, actually shaved, memorized a few peculiar lines from one of her favourite poets, and picked up some flowers and a bottle of wine from Sainsburys on the way.
I was both elated and relaxed as I walked there, humming to myself, feeling as invincible as a cat strutting to its bowl for the sixteenth meal of the day.
Everything seemed meticulously mapped out.
Everything except the greeting I received: Evening, Im Stephen.
Mums in the bath, come on in.
I froze.
Staring up at me from the doorway was the most square-jawed, overtly masculineand somehow still boyishface Id ever seen, holding out a hand big enough to palm my entire head.
My first thought was Id come to the wrong flat.
But then Stephen sneezed explosively, pinching his nose the exact way Emily had when she sneezed, and any doubts about the address vanished.
Suddenly, the flowers wilted, the wine seemed stale, and my enthusiasm plummeted.
Stepping inside, I spotted Stephens trainers and gawked.
I could have put them on over my own shoes and theyd still be too big.
Emily barely reached halfway up his chest.
I caught myself wishing women grew like that with goldgive them a ring, and ten years later, youve got a nice little inheritance on your hands.
I trudged into the kitchen, lost in those thoughts, to find the dinner table already set and Stephen changing the curtains without any need for a chair.
Five minutes, Ill be out! called Emily from the bathroom.
Twenty-five minutes later, she swept into the room, radiant and made up, in an evening dress.
Catching my long face, she immediately understood, and any last trace of nervous anticipation between us evaporated.
Silently, she served dinner, poured the wine, and began eating without waiting for me.
Why didnt you mention you have a child? I managed, feeling wrong-footed.
Afraid of the baggage, are you? Emily half-smiled, but her voice was tinged with sadness.
Baggage?
Hes not a suitcasehes an entire luggage carousel!
He is big for his age.
Gets it from his dadhe was from some far-off village in Yorkshire, even taller than Stephen.
The type whod wrestle wild boars for fun, she smirked.
And wheres he now? I croaked.
Touring.
With the boar.
Left us for the big stage.
Occasionally writes letters, but his handwritings so atrocious, for all I know its the boar writing to uswould probably have more decency.
How old is he? I nodded towards Stephens room.
Fourteenjust got his passport sorted.
With force?
Very funny.
The rest of the dinner was a strangely silent affair.
Mind if I have more of the meat? I asked, passing my plate across.
Do you like it?
Honestly, best Ive had.
What is it?
Venison.
Stephen cooked it.
Wow, thats quite a talent.
He inherited it, along with a chefs knife set, some ancient cookery book, a couple of fishing rods, a boat, and a lot of other clutter, really.
A boat? I licked my lips.
Yeah, in the cellar.
Well, stored is a stretch, it pops up occasionally.
Hes mad for fishing.
Just then, Emilys phone buzzed, and she excused herself to take the call in another room.
Maybe its time to leave, I thought.
There didnt seem much here left for me.
A few moments later, Emily came back into the kitchen, agitated.
Tom, listen, Ive got a bit of an emergency at workcould you watch Stephen for a couple of hours?
Sorry?
Me?
With Stephen?
What for?
Hes still a minor.
Anything could happen.
You hear all sorts these days…
Worried someone will kidnap him without noticing? I tried to joke.
Emily cut in, irritation flashing, LookIll pay you for the trouble.
For your lost evening and the babysitting.
I wont call you again if thats what you want, deal?
What am I supposed to do with him?
Whatever you blokes do, talk about bloke things.
I have to dash.
Before I could even respond, she had grabbed her coat and rushed out.
I sat in the kitchen for a bit, draining my phone battery, finishing the venison, polishing off the wine, and all the while Emily didnt come back.
Eventually, standing outside Stephens bedroom door, I heard familiar sounds coming from insidesomething that, unexpectedly, made me grin.
Come in, its open, Stephen called out.
I stepped in, tentatively.
The first thing I saw was a large wooden dartboard, bristling with darts and throwing knives.
No holes in the wallspot-on accuracy.
On his desk was a record player quietly spinning an Iron Maiden recordcouldnt believe my luck; I absolutely love them.
Meanwhile, Stephen, entirely absorbed, was mending a fishing reel.
I scanned the rest: trophies on the cupboard, a punching bag dangled from the ceiling, and a brand-new Xbox poised under the telly.
Not bad, your mum looks after you, I whistled with envy.
Id have killed for a room like this as a teenagerhell, who am I kidding, even now.
I work over the summers, Stephen replied matter-of-factly, and a twinge of shame crept in.
I’d assumed Emily was scraping together every penny for her bottomless pit of a child, but in fact, he was pretty independent.
Got a phone charger? I held up my lifeless mobile.
By the model train set, he pointed, and it was then I noticed, in the corner, the expansive railway layoutfull-on tracks, switches, bridges.
I stared, slack-jawed.
You built that? I whispered, not wanting to jinx the magic.
Yep.
Buying more bits as I gohope to add another level and some bridges.
A new lot of tracks came last week, just need time to set them up.
Heat crept up to my cheekspart embarrassment, part childlike excitement.
Can we run a train or two? I asked.
Yeah, just give me a minute. Stephen put down his fishing gear, stood, and in two strides was at the set.
***
Emily came home about an hour later.
She probably expected Id scarpered hours ago, but tiptoed into Stephens bedroom only to find us both on the floor, shoulders hunched over the railway, arguing gently about which track loop would be fastest.
It couldnt have been clearer from her face that she had no clue who the grown-up was.
Tom, its time to go home, Emily said quietly.
Ohright, sorry!
What time is it? I scrambled up embarrassed.
Half-past ten, she said, yawning, exhausted.
I have to be up first thing again to sort that work crisis.
She walked me to the door, kissed my cheek, and offered a tenner in my hand.
I dont take money from women, I said, turning up my nose.
Fine, but thank you, for looking after my so-called baggage.
I smiled, gave her a short wave, and stepped out into the Manchester night.
***
A couple of days later, I called her.
Hey, Id love to pop round again, if youre free.
Look, work is crazy at the momentIm always busy, and after the other night…
No, no, I meant to see Stephen.
Maybe he needs someone to hang out with?
You want to see Stephen? she replied, puzzled.
Yeah.
Maybe keep him company, buy snacks, you know?
I actually got a new game for his Xbox.
I…
well, Ill ask him.
But
I already did.
Hes up for it.
Honestly, I just want to treat him to this new game; you get your work done, and well quietly hang out.
Oh, well then, come over tonight.
That evening, I showed up completely transformed.
No dress shirt, no aftershave, no wine, none of those silly lingering looks.
Just a black t-shirt stamped with my favourite old band, a backpack stuffed with crisps and cans of Coke, and a goofy grin.
Please be quiet though, I have a video call in an hour, Emily said, greeting me in a battered dressing gown, hair in a towel and distinct smell of onions about her.
I nodded and slipped straight into Stephens room.
Later that evening, Emily still had to forcibly pry the two of us apart.
We were ten minutes into a heated debate about Guy Ritchie vs who we insisted was the British answer to Tarantino, and planning a six-hour movie marathon.
She laughed, reminding us we both had no taste, and bundled me toward the door.
Saturdaydont forget the bait! Stephen shouted after me.
What bait? Emily eyed me suspiciously.
Were going pike fishing.
I told Stephen I know this place that sells the best bait.
Honestly, its been ages since I went fishing, I replied, unable to stop grinning.
You two are quite the mates now, arent you? she said, smiling.
And you dont want to spend time with me?
Youre welcome to comecut up sandwiches, pass the thermos.
Somehow, I think Ill let you boys enjoy that.
Besides, works got me chained.
At least youre giving my lad something to do.
***
A month rolled by in a blur.
Emily devoted herself entirely to work, romance now a distant idea.
But Stephen and I were busy: we finished the train set, went out for crayfishing, brewed traditional ginger beer from his inherited old cookbook.
Stephen showed me how to find my way in the woods; I helped him compose the bravest text message to ask a girl from the next class out for a milkshake.
Life felt calm for all of us, until one evening our household peace was thumped out of existence by a fierce knocking that nearly brought down the ceiling lights.
Emily opened the door, and the scent of roast boar hit us first.
There, enormous and looming, stood her exStephens father.
Ive thought everything through, he boomed, getting down on one knee, still a head taller than Emily.
Potter and I are tired.
We want a quiet family life.
Ive saved enough; Ill take you both to the village.
Well live simply.
You can leave your job.
Stephen and I can fish, hunt, just enjoy ourselves.
Oh, youre hilarious, Emily snorted, folding her arms.
Ten years pass and you finally realize it?
What about the boar?
He getting back into the family too?
He actually got signed by a film studio behind my back, the ex mumbled, aggrieved.
So youre only here because you got dumped, Emily said, crossing her arms tighter.
Doesnt matter!
The important thing is”
Before he could finish, I wandered out wearing Emilys old football shirt.
Emily, I borrowed your top, hope you dont mindmine got a bit messy while Stephen and I re-painted the engine wagon
Does anyone in this flat finish a single sentence? Emily exclaimed quietly, looking at all the men in her life.
Whos this guy then? Stephens dad rumbled, ready to swing a meaty fist my way.
Thats…
um… Emily faltered.
Just then, Stephen shot out of his room and deftly pinned his fathers arm behind his back, and pressed him against the wall with impressive ease.
Hes the trailer, Stephen hissed.
Stephen!
Son!
Its me, your dadwhat trailer?
The one that helps Mum and me shift all the mess you left behind.
I never left you anything, his father said, and apparently realized what he’d just confessed.
Emily and I watched from the corner as the two giants battled in the hallway.
All right, all rightbreak! the father whined, and Stephen finally let go.
Youve done well, lad.
Takes after me!
Ready for a boar hunt yourself one day. The dad flexed his now-liberated arm.
Actually, thats what Im proposing.
Can I take my son tomorrow?
For old times sake?
Just a father and son, some quality time together?
I am his dad, after all, not just a stranger, he pleaded.
Emily looked between the two of us, lost for words.
I nodded.
I understand, I said softly, and gathered myself to leave.
Sorry
***
Father and son set off early the next morning, but Stephen came back late that night by himself.
Wheres your dad? Emily asked, riddled with nerves.
Hes gone, Stephen replied, pulling off his trainers at the door.
Gone?
What do you mean, just gone?
Well, not quite.
He left with the boar.
Loaded him up in his trailer and drove off to train.
Got himself a new companion for the show.
Dropped me off at the city and left.
Oh, Im such a fool, Emily groaned, smacking herself on the forehead.
I should call Tom, she said, reaching for her phone.
No need.
I just said goodbye to himhe gave me a lift home.
He said hed pop in tomorrow.
But you left your phone at home!
How did he know where to pick you up?
He said he followed usto make sure I was all right, that you were all right, too.
He said that?
Yeah.
And he said hes latched onto us nowfat chance of ever shaking him loose.Emily let out a breath shed been holding since the night began.
She stared at Stephen, then at the muddy trainers by the door, and finally settled her gaze on the living room, where Toms leftover crisps and a model train engine sat abandoned on the coffee table.
There was no drama left, no declarations, no fanfarejust the quiet hum of the boiler and the sudden weight of everything having shifted, for good.
Stephen shuffled past, mumbling something about a new fishing lure, and Emily caught herself smiling instead of worrying for the first time in months.
A soft knock came at the door.
She opened it without thinking.
Tom stood there, looking awkward, holding a plastic bag bulging with pastries from the corner shop.
I, uh couldnt sleep, he said.
Wasnt sure if I should come by, but I thought maybe youd both fancy breakfast.
And I fixed your football shirt, by the way.
Got the paint out.
Emily snorted, blinked too fast, then let him in.
As he passed, she caught his handjust for a second, just enough.
Stephen appeared in the hallway, hoodie thrown over his pyjamas, a fishing reel in one hand and an electric guitar in the other.
If youre both up, I found a new Freddie King recordshall we eat and put it on?
For a moment, all three stood together in the doorwaythe battered, the rebuilt, and the growing-too-fast.
Emily looked at Tom, at Stephen, at the mismatched family the years had delivered to her step by stubborn step.
And as laughter chased the scent of cinnamon rolls down the corridor and the music filled the little flat with bluesy warmth, Emily realized she couldnt remember what loneliness had tasted like.
When the morning sun finally broke in, it shone on faces alight with an easy, unhurried happinessa family, unfinished and uncertain, but together.
And that, at last, was enough.
