The Price of Deceit: How One Woman Chose to Keep Her Family —
I decided to write this story after frequently coming across accounts online where women, in a bid to preserve their families, deliberately resorted to deceit. Stories in which a wife, unable to conceive with her husband, would have a child with someone else—sometimes with his knowledge, more often in secret. The husband believed the child was his own. And she kept silent in the name of “love” and “happiness.”
Every time I read them, a wave of pain and outrage surged within me. Yes, life is complicated. Sometimes fate takes away the most fundamental gift—the ability to bring life into the world. But deceit, particularly on such a profound level, not only destroys a family but also the souls of everyone involved.
I know what I’m talking about. For nine long years, I battled infertility. Nine years of injections, tests, tears, hopes, and disappointments. My husband and I wanted a child more than anything else. I watched each unsuccessful cycle tear him apart inside, though he tried to stay strong for me. Whenever someone close to me suggested finding a donor on the sly—“You’re a woman, after all; your biological clock is ticking”—anger simmered inside me. I looked at my husband and realized: No. I wouldn’t betray him. I wouldn’t lie. Not even in the name of motherhood, which is considered sacred.
You know, a “friend” once told me: “Why do you torture yourself? Get pregnant by someone else, and that’s it. He won’t ever find out. The main thing is that the blood matches.” And what if, I replied, there’s a disaster? An accident? An illness? A need for a blood transfusion? And what if a transplant is needed? The truth would come out. What then?
I’d rather remain childless than deceitful. But fate had another path for us. My husband and I adopted a little girl named Daisy. I have never regretted it. She is our daughter—not by blood, but by love and heart.
There’s a story that still disturbs me. Our old acquaintances seemed to have the perfect family. They had twins. He was kind, caring, hardworking. She was beautiful and charming. People envied them. But, as often happens, the truth couldn’t remain hidden for long.
One day, the man was diagnosed with congenital infertility. He was in shock. Further tests confirmed it. There were two possible explanations: either the children weren’t his, or a medical miracle had occurred. Sadly, miracles didn’t happen.
He was devastated. There were no arguments, no flying crockery—he just packed up his belongings, left the house, the kids, everything, and moved abroad. Rumor has it he now works in London. He never saw his wife again. And the children? They learned the truth and couldn’t forgive. They moved in with their grandparents—his parents. Their mother was left alone in what was once a home filled with children’s laughter.
The saddest part is that the children didn’t want to come back. They grew up and went to study in another city, severing all contact with her. Occasionally, I hear news of her through mutual friends. She still lives alone. Sometimes she’s seen at the market—with a dull gaze, slumped shoulders. Silent. Even with those she once called friends.
I share this story not out of malice. I am a woman too. I know the pain of being unable to bear a child. Seeing other people’s children and feeling an emptiness within. But, dear ones, deceit is no remedy. It’s a poison that slowly but surely destroys everything it touches.
Medical science has come a long way now. There’s in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, and honest donor programs. Adoption is an option. There are ways to be happy without shattering the lives of others.
I lived through this pain. I lived it honestly. And now, when my Daisy calls me “mum” and cuddles up to me at night, I know—I made the right choice. My conscience is clear. And by my side is my husband, who never lost faith in me.
Dear women, please, if you find yourselves facing such a choice—don’t lie. Don’t betray the one who loves you. Better the bitter truth than the sweet lie that will one day destroy everything. Most importantly—don’t justify betrayal with love. True love doesn’t give birth to deceit. True love is honesty, even if it hurts.
Let this story serve as a warning. Don’t step on someone else’s missteps. And if fate has taken motherhood from you, it will surely gift you something else. The main thing is to keep your soul intact.
