30May2025 Diary
Dear diary,
I had to have a serious word with my daughterinlaw, Cressida, when she turned up at our little Yorkshire farm for a few hours just enough to see the place before heading back to town. She kept glancing at my wife, Ethel, as she began, John, Im sorry to be blunt, but I didnt pull your son out of the city for nothing. I turned him from a proper city lad into a country boy. Now you want to turn my son, little Tom, back into a rustic, havent you? I wont let that happen!
Whats the trouble, Cressida? Ethel asked, eyes wide. Why are you saying that?
Cressida launched into her tirade: Because after spending the whole summer with you, Tom isnt the same boy he was before! Do you understand?
Ethel stared, puzzled. We dont get it. What do you mean before? Hes only eight!
Exactly! Cressida snapped. Hes eight, and after your village, hes turned into a proper country bloke, picking up all sorts of nasty habits!
John, looking uneasy, asked, Nasty habits? Cressida, what on earth are you talking about? Has he taken up smoking?
Smoking? Of course not! she replied sharply. What about drinking? What vile habits could you be referring to?
She went on, Im talking about countryside habits! He now calls every pretty car a pony. Imagine him shouting down the lane, Mum, Dad, look at that pony go by! Its absurd!
I could only grin at her outburst, while Ethel gave me a disapproving look.
Ethel tried to soften things. John, its just a word, not a curse. Its kind of endearing, actually.
Cressida flared again. Is that how a city kid should speak? I wouldnt be surprised if hes started swearing too. His vocabulary after this summer is full of strange phrases. It frightens me! He now says things like, Ill give you a proper twist on the crankshaft! or Youll get a proper whack in the gearbox. I cant make heads or tails of them. He even wrote in his school essay that he wants to be a tractor driver. Thats what you, John, have fed him, isnt it?
I forced a smile, trying not to look guilty. No, Cressida, thats not me. Hes just been watching the farm machinery and dreaming a bit. Hes still a city boy at heart. He told us he wants to be a financier, maybe even the Chancellor someday.
She sighed, We want him to become a financier.
Speaking of which, she continued, we gave him a few pounds as future financier allowance, telling him he could buy himself a birthday present. Guess what he bought?
I braced myself. What?
He bought some chainsaws, or something like that. He said your chains are so dull they cant be sharpened. He claimed that next year you and Tom will go into the woods with those saws and cut firewood for the sauna. Is that true?
Ethel groaned, Oh dear, the boys imagination
I added, If thats the case, well reimburse you for the chainsaws straight away. Just tell me how much he spent.
Cressida snapped, Its not about the money! My boy should be thinking about school, not about firewood, ponies, or tractors. He should aim to be a top scholar and head straight to university.
Ethel smiled, Exactly. Next summer well bring the best books from the village hall library and sit with him under the apple tree, reading maths and English all day. Well mould him into a star pupil.
John nodded, Bring him over and well turn him into the smartest child in the world. Hell outwit any of our local lads, no doubt.
Ethel added, He talks so smoothly, its almost like hes singing. All the village grandmothers are smitten with him. They say, Cressida, youre a proper mother indeed.
Cressida looked surprised. Really? In what way am I a proper mother?
Ethel replied, You bring him to the countryside for the summer. Kids his age should eat fresh, unprocessed food, breathe clean country air, swim in a clear rivernot some chlorinefilled pool. He told us hes learned to swim almost like a fish, didnt he?
Cressida gave a hesitant nod and finally smiled.
And he rides his bike here without fearing a lorry turning the corner. He isnt scared of bees or dogs anymore, and his allergies have faded. We hardly need the clinic now.
John added, In a year youll forget the word almost when you talk about him. So, Cressida, dont worry well spoil him. Hell gain so much health that it will last him a lifetime. Healthboth physical and moralis what matters most in a child.
She sighed, Alright then youve calmed me a little.
When Cressida left, Ethel turned to me and asked, Do you think theyll bring Tom back next summer?
I replied cautiously, Theyll come, they have nowhere else to go. Thank heavens Cressida didnt wander into the shed and see the tractor Im building for Tomshed have lost it. But alls well. Hell still be saying pony, just like I used to when I was a lad. My grandfathers sayings stuck with me, and now theyre stuck with Tom.
Personal lesson: a childs mind is a fertile fieldwhat you sow, whether city slang or country wisdom, will grow in the harvest you reap. I must nurture both his roots and his wings.
