The other day, my mum left the house just like she always does. She texted me in the morning, asking if I’d had breakfast. I replied, Yes, well chat later, and got stuck into my work. She wasnt ill, she hadnt been in hospital, there was no worry, no goodbyejust another ordinary day. One of those days that youd never imagine would change anything.
At four oclock, my phone rang. The number wasnt familiar. It was one of the neighbours. She said, Your mums had an accident. I asked where she was, and the neighbour told me which clinic. I rushed over straight away. They told me shed fallen in the street, hit her head, and there was nothing they could do. Just like thatno drama, no last words.
There were no final sentences. No hugs. No time to say anything. I just stood there, staring at a white wall while they talked about paperwork, signatures, and procedures. I called my brothers with a voice that shook, and I said the hardest sentence Ive ever had to say: Mums passed away.
The real blow didnt come in the clinic. It was when I went into her home, alone, to collect her things. I opened her wardrobe, and inside were clothes still waiting to be washed. Her sandals were by the door, her purse hanging behind the chair, shopping half put away. Everything frozen at the moment life had stopped.
I picked up one of her blouses to put in a bag, and the scent of her soap filled the air. I stood there, holding her top, unable to move. Eventually, I sat on her bed and stared at the floor for ages. I felt angry.
Then came all the little things that hurt the most: instinctively dialling her number and remembering it doesnt exist anymore, coming home from work and no one asks if Im in safely, walking past her house and not going in. Nobody prepares you for that silence.
Everyone says things like, It was her time, or God has his reasons, or Shes resting now. But I dont feel any calm. What I feel is absence. I feel that she left on a random day, without any warning, without a chance to comfort my heart.
And thats what stings the most: it wasnt a proper farewell. It was sharp and sudden, like a clean cut.
