THE MYSTERIOUS NEW NEIGHBOURS A new couple moved into Flat 222 at Number 8, Byron Street. Middle-aged, maybe in their early fifties, both quite short and slender. He sports a beard and a grey coat; she often wears a long skirt and a colourful beret. They’re polite—always smiling in the lift and holding the door open, especially if someone’s carrying heavy shopping. And, which matters with these modern flats: they’re quiet. At least, that’s how it seemed at first. But after about two weeks, the Smiths from 221 and the Harrisons from 223 started to hear their new neighbours rather distinctly. It soon became the main topic of conversation at family dinner. Here’s what the Smiths—both in their forties and married half their lives—had to say: “Have you seen our new neighbours?” “Yes, we rode together in the lift yesterday.” “What do you think?” “They seem normal enough. Why?” “They’re… very affectionate.” “In what way?” “Well, during the day when everyone’s out, it gets quiet, and you can hear everything. They’ve been playing… erm, adult games. For three days in a row now. Very inventive, too. Like something out of a film.” “Seriously?” “Yes, and with a real sense of drama. It’s amusing until it gets distracting. Honestly, it makes working from home tricky.” “Oh, don’t be a prude; good on them—living it up at their age.” ‘Not like us,’ he thought but dared not say. At the weekend, even Mr Smith found himself an unwilling audience to a “classic” gardener-and-lady-of-the-house scene. Both blushed furiously. ***** As for the Harrisons, the youngest couple on the floor—nearly thirty, five years married, expecting their first child: “Did you see the new couple?” “Yeah, bumped into them in the corridor. Why?” “They’re interesting. She cooks him restaurant-worthy meals, and he showers her with gifts—never a day goes by without one.” “How do you know?” “I go for walks daily, and their kitchen smells divine. I even bumped into him with flowers and a gift bag once, dashing home like it was a date.” “Hmm.” “Maybe they’re not married at all—just lovers?” “No idea, but they definitely live together.” “And they’re always chatting in the kitchen, giggling and laughing if you listen quietly. Just like newlyweds.” “I get it. News is on—I’ll be in the lounge.” That Friday, Mr Harrison ran into the neighbour by the lift—clutching roses, a bottle of red, and looking hopeful for the evening. ***** A month passed. The mysterious neighbours of 222 were firmly established. The Smiths had grown used to the sounds from next door. The couple next door still hadn’t tired of one another; every day something new, or at least sweet sighs and creaking beds. As if they were in a hurry to savour every moment together. One night, Mrs Smith, eyes averted, confessed: “I stopped by the lingerie shop at the centre today—look at what I bought.” She flung open her robe. Mr Smith’s eyes sparkled. “Well,” he said, “I popped into an adult shop the other day—got this. Don’t know if you’ll like it.” “You never know until you try,” she blushed. ***** “Process is underway,” whispered the man in 222, eavesdropping on the Smiths through the wall. ***** Mr Harrison decided to visit the jeweller at lunch—he hadn’t treated his wife in ages. Once, he always had a treat for her tucked in his bag, even if only her favourite chocolate. He spotted his wife in her familiar coat. “Rachel! What are you doing here? This is miles from home.” “Just fancied a walk,” she faltered. “You?” “Got you these earrings. Here—couldn’t resist.” Rachel beamed, kissing him. “Thank you, love! I’m making carbonara with prawns tonight. Remember when I used to make that? They have the best prawns here.” “Mmm, my mouth’s watering just thinking about it.” “Don’t be late; I’ll have it ready by seven.” “Of course,” thought Mr Harrison, ‘better stop for flowers.’ ***** “What’s the update?” asked the man from 222. “She’s cooking something special and they’re off and running,” smiled his wife. ***** A month later, the Smiths were unrecognisable—ten years younger, always catching each other’s eye, just waiting for a moment alone together. Sometimes they’d even sneak away from the kids for a hotel night, relishing every second. Shared interests sprouted, and everything seemed easier. ***** Meanwhile, with the Harrisons about to welcome their first child, they’d rediscovered date nights: cinema, restaurants, art galleries. Rachel had dug out her old recipe book, and every week, Mr Harrison spoiled her with gifts or slipped a favourite chocolate into her bag. He couldn’t remember the last time he watched the news. ***** “So, how are they?” asked the woman from 222. “They’re good—quiet creaks now, must be the kids at home. But everything’s far livelier—I listen in all the time, just to make sure.” “And the other couple?” “They’re happily nest-building, laughing in the kitchen, delicious smells drifting down the hall.” “Brilliant! All done in three months. We’ll stay a few more weeks to seal the results.” “Alright. Who’s next?” “Simmons, Flat 65, Number 4. Next door in 66, a couple overrun by routine—forgotten each other’s names. And the lot in 64—bedroom blues, as usual.” “Understood. I’ll leave your tapes for now, keep things lively. No need to cancel the restaurant deliveries either. There’s still plenty of scented oil left. Oh, and those roses you swapped water for all week—completely wilted. You’ll have to buy a new bouquet.” “Will do. Rub my back, would you? Then let’s get some sleep…”

ODD NEIGHBOURS

New neighbours moved into flat 222, number 8, on Shakespeare Avenue. A married couple, both in their early fifties, on the slight and short side. He has a beard and always wears a grey overcoat. Shes often seen in a long skirt and a colourful hat. Theyre polite, always smiling in the lift, even holding the door if someones struggling with heavy shopping bags. And most importantly, compared to how new buildings are these daystheyre incredibly quiet.

Or so it seemed at first. About two weeks in, the Marshalls from 221 and the Bennetts from 223 started hearing them quite clearly. It became a bit of an evening topic around their dinner tables.

The Marshalls, both in their forties and married for half their lives, had this conversation:

Did you see those new neighbours?
Yeah, we were in the lift together yesterday.
What do you think?
Seem fine, just the usual, why?
Theyre rather amorous.
What do you mean?
When everyones out during the day, its suddenly so quiet in the building you can hear everythingand for the third day straight, theyre at it. Proper adult games.
Really?
Oh yes, and very imaginative too. Like a scene out of a film, honestly.
Well, thats something!
Youll hear it yourself at some point. Funny at first, but to be frank, its distracting. Hard to work from home!
Oh come on, dont be such a prude. Theyre in their fifties and still having fungood for them.

He didnt say aloud, but thought, Not like us, sadly.

On the weekend, I too became an unwilling listener to their escapades. This time it was the classic gardener and lady of the house routine. Even we found ourselves blushing.

*****

Meanwhile, the Bennetts, the youngest couple on the landingnearly thirty, married five years, expecting their first childwere chatting in their kitchen.

Tom, did you see the new couple?
Yeah, bumped into them at the entrance. What about them?
Theyre quite the pair! She cooks him these incredible meals, the hallway smells like a proper restaurant. And hes always bringing her giftsnever a day without something.
How do you know?
I go out for a walk every day. The smells from their door are heavenly. And Ive seen him with flowers, sometimes a gift baghe dashes home like hes off to a date.
Hm.
Do you reckon theyre not even married? Just lovers?
No idea pretty sure they live together though.
And you can hear them cooing in the kitchen if theyre not banging about the disheslaughing away like newlyweds.
Right. News is starting, Ill be in the lounge.

That Friday, Tom Bennett bumped into the neighbour by the lift. He was carrying flowers and a bottle of red, clearly looking forward to the evening.

*****

Time went on. The odd pair had been in flat 222 for a month already. The Marshalls in 221 had grown used to the sounds through the wall. The neighbours still seemed nowhere near finished with their games. Every day was something different: sweet sighs, the creak of a mattressliving each day as if it were their last, desperate not to waste a moment of each other.

One evening, Sarah Marshall looked away shyly and said,
I popped into the shopping centre today and wandered into the lingerie section. Look what I bought, she said, opening her dressing gown.

Michael Marshalls eyes lit up, and he absently ran his tongue along his lower lip.
I, er, stopped by that adult shop the other day. Picked something up, not sure if youll fancy it.
Well, you never know till you try, Sarah blushed.

*****

From the other side, the gentleman in 222 was at their shared wall, ear pressed up, whispering, Its started.

*****

Tom from 223 decided to take his lunch break at the jewellers. He realised itd been ages since he last surprised Emily with a gift. He used to delight her every week with somethingeven a bar of her favourite chocolate was always in his briefcase.

Unexpectedly, he recognised a familiar coat.
Emily! he called out. What brings you here? Its a bit of a trek from home.
Oh, just fancied a wander, she replied nervously. And you?
Picked out some earrings for you. Here.
Emilys face shone.
Thank you, love, she said, kissing him. I was thinking of making carbonara with prawns for dinnerthe way I used to. There are fantastic prawns here.
Oh, I remembermy mouths watering just thinking about it.
Dont be late today; Ill have dinner ready by seven and dont want to reheat it.
All right, said Tom, already making a mental note to buy her flowers.

*****

So, whats the latest? asked the woman from flat 222.

Hes cooking something exciting, the man grinned, and the others are well underway themselves.

*****

By another month, youd hardly recognise the Marshalls. They seemed ten years younger, always sneaking glances at each other, waiting for opportunities to be alone together. Occasionally, theyd ditch the kids, get a hotel room, practically unable to get enough of each other. Suddenly, they had so much more to talk abouteverything seemed to be going better.

*****

The Bennetts, meanwhile, were about to welcome their first child, yet they were back to datingcinema, dinner, art galleries. Emily unearthed her old recipe book, and Tom spoiled her weekly with gifts, if not at least a chocolate bar tucked in her bag. He couldnt even remember when he last watched the evening news.

*****

How are they getting on now? the lady in 222 asked her husband.

Oh, just the odd creak of a mattress these daysprobably because the kids are home. But things are livelier, I can tell. I keep listening, just to be sure.

And the Bennetts?

Getting on brilliantlylaughing together, kitchen smells fabulous, like a bistro.

Well, perfect! Three months, like clockwork. Well stay another fortnight just to be sure.

All right. Whos next?

Simmons at number 4, flat 65. Family next door in 66 has gone completely stale, probably cant remember each others names. At 64, just the usual case of a bedroom in need of help and a bit of order!

Understood. Right, I wont put your tapes away yetkeep up the noise a bit longer. And no need to cancel the restaurant ordersthe aroma oils are going strong. By the way, those roses you refreshed last week have wilted. Well need another bouquet.

Ill fetch some tomorrow. Do me a favour and rub my back, then lets turn in for the night

*****

Reflecting on these months of neighbourly influence and secret schemes, I realise sometimes the spark just needs a subtle nudgea whiff of inspiration, a generous ear, or even a gentle competition. Life goes on, but love is better when you let it grow, and its true: youre never too old to play.

Rate article
THE MYSTERIOUS NEW NEIGHBOURS A new couple moved into Flat 222 at Number 8, Byron Street. Middle-aged, maybe in their early fifties, both quite short and slender. He sports a beard and a grey coat; she often wears a long skirt and a colourful beret. They’re polite—always smiling in the lift and holding the door open, especially if someone’s carrying heavy shopping. And, which matters with these modern flats: they’re quiet. At least, that’s how it seemed at first. But after about two weeks, the Smiths from 221 and the Harrisons from 223 started to hear their new neighbours rather distinctly. It soon became the main topic of conversation at family dinner. Here’s what the Smiths—both in their forties and married half their lives—had to say: “Have you seen our new neighbours?” “Yes, we rode together in the lift yesterday.” “What do you think?” “They seem normal enough. Why?” “They’re… very affectionate.” “In what way?” “Well, during the day when everyone’s out, it gets quiet, and you can hear everything. They’ve been playing… erm, adult games. For three days in a row now. Very inventive, too. Like something out of a film.” “Seriously?” “Yes, and with a real sense of drama. It’s amusing until it gets distracting. Honestly, it makes working from home tricky.” “Oh, don’t be a prude; good on them—living it up at their age.” ‘Not like us,’ he thought but dared not say. At the weekend, even Mr Smith found himself an unwilling audience to a “classic” gardener-and-lady-of-the-house scene. Both blushed furiously. ***** As for the Harrisons, the youngest couple on the floor—nearly thirty, five years married, expecting their first child: “Did you see the new couple?” “Yeah, bumped into them in the corridor. Why?” “They’re interesting. She cooks him restaurant-worthy meals, and he showers her with gifts—never a day goes by without one.” “How do you know?” “I go for walks daily, and their kitchen smells divine. I even bumped into him with flowers and a gift bag once, dashing home like it was a date.” “Hmm.” “Maybe they’re not married at all—just lovers?” “No idea, but they definitely live together.” “And they’re always chatting in the kitchen, giggling and laughing if you listen quietly. Just like newlyweds.” “I get it. News is on—I’ll be in the lounge.” That Friday, Mr Harrison ran into the neighbour by the lift—clutching roses, a bottle of red, and looking hopeful for the evening. ***** A month passed. The mysterious neighbours of 222 were firmly established. The Smiths had grown used to the sounds from next door. The couple next door still hadn’t tired of one another; every day something new, or at least sweet sighs and creaking beds. As if they were in a hurry to savour every moment together. One night, Mrs Smith, eyes averted, confessed: “I stopped by the lingerie shop at the centre today—look at what I bought.” She flung open her robe. Mr Smith’s eyes sparkled. “Well,” he said, “I popped into an adult shop the other day—got this. Don’t know if you’ll like it.” “You never know until you try,” she blushed. ***** “Process is underway,” whispered the man in 222, eavesdropping on the Smiths through the wall. ***** Mr Harrison decided to visit the jeweller at lunch—he hadn’t treated his wife in ages. Once, he always had a treat for her tucked in his bag, even if only her favourite chocolate. He spotted his wife in her familiar coat. “Rachel! What are you doing here? This is miles from home.” “Just fancied a walk,” she faltered. “You?” “Got you these earrings. Here—couldn’t resist.” Rachel beamed, kissing him. “Thank you, love! I’m making carbonara with prawns tonight. Remember when I used to make that? They have the best prawns here.” “Mmm, my mouth’s watering just thinking about it.” “Don’t be late; I’ll have it ready by seven.” “Of course,” thought Mr Harrison, ‘better stop for flowers.’ ***** “What’s the update?” asked the man from 222. “She’s cooking something special and they’re off and running,” smiled his wife. ***** A month later, the Smiths were unrecognisable—ten years younger, always catching each other’s eye, just waiting for a moment alone together. Sometimes they’d even sneak away from the kids for a hotel night, relishing every second. Shared interests sprouted, and everything seemed easier. ***** Meanwhile, with the Harrisons about to welcome their first child, they’d rediscovered date nights: cinema, restaurants, art galleries. Rachel had dug out her old recipe book, and every week, Mr Harrison spoiled her with gifts or slipped a favourite chocolate into her bag. He couldn’t remember the last time he watched the news. ***** “So, how are they?” asked the woman from 222. “They’re good—quiet creaks now, must be the kids at home. But everything’s far livelier—I listen in all the time, just to make sure.” “And the other couple?” “They’re happily nest-building, laughing in the kitchen, delicious smells drifting down the hall.” “Brilliant! All done in three months. We’ll stay a few more weeks to seal the results.” “Alright. Who’s next?” “Simmons, Flat 65, Number 4. Next door in 66, a couple overrun by routine—forgotten each other’s names. And the lot in 64—bedroom blues, as usual.” “Understood. I’ll leave your tapes for now, keep things lively. No need to cancel the restaurant deliveries either. There’s still plenty of scented oil left. Oh, and those roses you swapped water for all week—completely wilted. You’ll have to buy a new bouquet.” “Will do. Rub my back, would you? Then let’s get some sleep…”