Two grown-up kids, and you can’t get any help from them. They come to visit, like a resort, to relax. And I’m like a service staff, I have to receive, accommodate, feed, clean, and babysit. They won’t even offer me any help, not to mention money.
I have a son and a daughter. They are children to me, but they are grown-up people with families of their own. My son has two children and my daughter has one so far. I live in my own house in the country, so my children and grandchildren often come to visit me. But with each year I find such visits harder and harder.
The children are used to coming to me as if they were at a resort. I do all the housework, from cooking to shopping. The bedroom is prepared for their arrival, groceries are bought, various dishes are prepared – it has always been the custom in our family to welcome guests this way. My mother always greeted them that way – with a full table and comfort. But my sister and I did not sit on her neck, we understood that it was difficult for mother to cope with everything alone. So we did the dishes ourselves and took care of the children, helped my mother to do the general cleaning, bought the groceries. Because it was hard for her alone. She never asked us for anything.
And now the kids come to me and they cleaned the plate in the sink, so thank you. I have no questions about my son-in-law and daughter-in-law, they are guests, I am a stranger to them, no matter how you look at it. But it saddens me that my daughter and son have no idea how to help. They will come, eat, watch TV, or leave their grandchildren with me while they go for a visit or a walk. I have to do all the dishes, take care of lunch and dinner, wipe the floors, there is such a crowd at home. I also have grandchildren to take care of.
With each time I give it more and more difficult, because my back is already hurting, and the strength to stand so much at the stove is not. But my upbringing prevents me from simply ignoring everything and doing nothing. You can’t do that, you have to meet the guests properly. I get so excited over the weekend, and then I come back from such adventures for a week.
I think I need help, but it seems unseemly to ask for it. I’m afraid that the kids will be offended and think that I’m not happy with them. And I’m glad, but it’s hard for me to carry everything on my back. And there are things to do around the house that I can’t get my hands on. But I’m too embarrassed to ask for it. The kids also work, they don’t have to work for me.
I do not know what to do, that prevents the stupid upbringing, I do not care! All alone to do everything is difficult, I get very tired. Frankly need help, no matter how I turn it. And on the other hand, it’s a shame to ask for help, we are not accustomed to ask for help, we can do it ourselves, our parents brought us up that way. So I suffer all the time, I can’t get over myself. It’s so bad, and it’s not good this way either. I don’t understand why my children don’t offer to help, they must understand that I am not twenty years old and I am not two-hearted. It seems that there is no one to be offended, but still hurt. I do not know how to solve this problem.
