Youve got to hear how Poppy first laid eyes on James at work. He turned up for a spot in the procurement team, and shed just bolted into HR to sign a paperwork order. She meant to dash off, but spotting this goodlooking bloke made her pause.
Handsome, isnt he? she thought, and confident. You can tell straight away they dont make lads like this any more. Lets see procurement, huh? Guess well get to know each other soon enough.
The very next morning the new guy walked into the accounts office, gave a friendly hello, and glanced around with genuine interest. His gaze lingered on Poppy, and she felt a strange shiver run through her. Well, look at that, she muttered, halfembarrassed, hes actually looking at me weve seen a few like that.
Whether shed seen them before the story doesnt say, but it became clear fast that James wasnt like the blokes shed dated before. He always met her eye, soft and attentive, never rushing anywhere. Hed sort out problems without waiting to be asked, yet never pushed himself on her. He could slip in unnoticed, and somehow always turned up exactly when she needed him. All that left a lasting impression on Poppy, and she fell for him hard and proper.
Honestly, a bloke like that was worth dreaming about! Within a couple of months they were cohabiting, six months later they tied the knot, and when their little boy an exact miniJames arrived, Poppy finally understood what happiness felt like.
At night shed nestle up to him and whisper, Youre not going anywhere, are you? Ive got you all tied up now.
James would grin, kiss her temple and answer, I wasnt planning on going anywhere anyway.
Shed known from the start that James had a daughter from his first marriage. Shed asked about her, but he was vague. One night he finally let slip, We havent spoken in years. I dont have any contact details. When my ex, Mabel, was three, she didnt want us to keep in touch. Now Rosies a teenager lets not dig up the past.
Poppy shrugged, Alright, if you ever want to find her, tell me. Ill back you up. He nodded. No more questions after all, everyones got a past.
Then one evening James came home looking offkilter. He slipped off his coat, trudged to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water and just stood there, glass in hand.
James, whats up? Poppy asked, a little worried.
He glanced at her, guilt in his eyes, and blurted out, I I found Mabel on social media. Sent her a message to see how she and Rosie were doing. Turns out Rosie wants to talk to me. Weve chatted a bit on the phone
Poppy froze. Shed reminded him about Rosie countless times, but hearing it now made something snap inside her.
What wonderful! she forced a smile, masking her unease, Im really glad for you both.
James lit up he needed to hear that. And Poppy felt a sudden weight settle over her life.
At first it was just short calls. Hed slip into his study and shut the door, mumbling, Rosies shy. Poppy would be left in the kitchen, hearing his soft, tender voice that had only yesterday been meant for her. Then the exwifes messages started popping up, first brief, then longer. Her fingers would reach for Jamess phone when it lay unattended, scrolling through pictures of a girl she didnt know, reading sweet, almost poisonous lines like, Were here, were waiting for you
She kept telling herself, Hes just talking to his daughter, dont read into it. But one day, passing by, she heard the name. Mabel. Her former wife. From that point the nightmare took shape. She loathed herself for watching his smile as he stared at the screen, for the way he paused, choosing his reply. Every glance, every gesture started to feel like betrayal. She was convinced he was living a double life.
Jealousy flared daily, and everything began to irritate her.
Do you think Im worth nothing to you?! she snapped one evening as James absentmindedly scrolled his phone.
Poppy, whats happening? he looked genuinely baffled.
Dont pretend! she hissed. I see everything! Youre chatting with her again!
And whos her? he asked, as if the name meant nothing to him.
That only fed her rage. Every ring of his phone felt like a jolt, every overtime hour a proof of cheating. Shed turned into a spy in her own home because she loved him to the point of selfdestruction, and he never gave a word, never explained, as if he couldnt see how badly she was hurting. It just wasnt like him.
Soon they were arguing all the time, over the smallest things that snowballed into huge fights. Poppy kept shouting that James no longer listened, that his gaze was off, that her very presence seemed to burden him. In her head a terrifying thought kept looping: If he decides, he has somewhere else to go. Someone wholl love him more.
Shed once been sure of their marriage, but now the house she loved felt anything but safe. Lying awake at night shed think, What if he chooses the past over us? By morning shed scold herself, telling herself, Were a family. No, he wouldnt. The more she tried to convince herself, the deeper the fear grew.
One night James left his phone on the kitchen counter and went to put the baby down. A notification lit up Mabel. Poppys fingers trembled, her heart clenched, but she didnt open it. She was scared of what she might read; fear had become a habit.
Why are you so off today? James asked later, after the child was asleep.
Everythings fine, she replied too quickly. He studied her for a long moment, as if he sensed something, but said nothing.
Later, while he slept, she lay beside him, listening to his steady breathing, warm and familiar. Then a thought struck: Maybe someone else will be listening to that breath soon. The idea burned so hard that she got up, went to the kitchen, sat on a stool, and clutched her hands. For the first time she felt replaceable.
James walked in, she lifted her watery eyes and whispered, Im scared youll leave someday. He crouched, took her hands, and after a pause asked, Where would I go?
Um somewhere with them, she mumbled, looking away. He fell silent. That pause was louder than any argument, more terrifying than any accusation.
Then came the night that changed everything. James didnt come back to spend the night. No call, no text. His phone was out of coverage. Poppy sat alone in the dark kitchen, replaying every happy scene theyd shared, imagining a future without her. By morning her heart felt like a block of ice.
She sat at her laptop, fingers typing on autopilot, writing to Mabel. Tears fell without her noticing as she poured out love, jealousy, humiliation, begging for the truth. She hit Send, feeling oddly light and empty at the same time. Now it was just a waiting game.
All day she could think of nothing else. She rehearsed the conversation shed have when James returned, imagined telling him she knew everything. She walked around the flat, touched things, fed the baby on autopilot, but inside it was all just waiting for his verdict.
When he finally shuffled in, pale and tired, he sat opposite her without a word.
Why did you do that? his voice was low and weary.
What did I do? she asked, trying to keep her composure.
I read your email. Youve got it all wrong.
No way! she snapped, losing the last of her calm. Explain then! Are you going back to them? Old flames never die, right? Stop lying, stop hiding your phone, stop looking away! How did you even read my message? She proposed? She wanted to show my weakness? I was too lazy to answer!
She wont answer you, Poppy, James said quietly. Ill answer you. Everything will be fine if you dont ruin it yourself.
Funny, she laughed bitterly. Very convenient. Fine, I dont care now. I shouldnt have even written to her.
He he Mabel passed away last night. I was with her until the end.
Poppy thought shed misheard. The world seemed to freeze. Her breath caught, a cold wash spreading through her. All that jealousy, suspicion, the poison inside her heart suddenly turned to dust.
She died? she whispered, as if afraid to hear the answer.
James nodded.
It turns out shed been ill for a long time, he said. She was glad I showed up, but she never told me everything. She just wanted to make sure Rosie wasnt left alone. He sighed heavily. Now I need to decide what to do with Rosie. I cant make that call without you.
Are you thinking of a childrens home? Poppys voice trembled.
No, of course not. Both my family and Mabels have relatives who might take her in. I just need your say.
Poppy shot up, her voice cracking, Dont even think about it! Rosie will live with us, alright? With us!
James froze, closed his eyes for a heartbeat. When he opened them, tears welled up.
I knew youd say that, he murmured.
She rushed into his arms, burying her face against his chest. All the fear and doubt melted away. Ahead lay a new, tough life, but Poppy wasnt scared any more. Shed made her choice.
