Nearly two years ago, I heard a phrase from my wife that I will never forget. She said, You live your life so predictably that Ive become utterly bored of you. While Emma thought our lives were mundane, I was perfectly content. I woke up early, made breakfast, did my morning stretches, and dressed for work. The first thing I did was fix a lovely breakfast for my wife, since she always left before me. Afterwards, I prepared myself as well. We made our own lunches at home; each morning, Id pack us both a bit of lunch in handy containers. In the evenings, on my way home, Id pop by the shop, then cook, tidy up, and do the washing. Before bed, wed watch a film and go to sleep.
I was convinced I was doing everything right. Everything seemed just so: Emma was well looked after, well fed, and our house was always spotless and welcoming. What more could one wish for? Every Saturday, Id give the house a proper clean, bake something delicious, and whip up a nice meal. In the evening, wed invite friends round or pop out into town. On Sundays, wed visit our parentshalf the day with mine, half with hers. Wed help out with odd jobs, have long talks, and enjoy the company of our families.
Come the evening, wed unwind at home. We never argued or raised our voices at each other. There was real harmony and calm in the house. But one day, out of the blue, my wife told me she was bored of me. She sat me down for hours, telling me how unhappy she was, giving examples of her friends who lived so freely and had all sorts of adventures. Their lives were apparently exciting and fulfilledunlike ours. We didnt even have a proper row, she said. That day, she simply walked out the door.
I genuinely liked our routine life and had no wish to change a thing. Still, for the sake of my beloved wife, I was prepared to do anythingeven change myself. First, I decided to alter my appearance. I cleared out my wardrobe, then went shopping and spent the money I had set aside for a garden shed on all sorts of new outfits. I cut my hair short and dyed it. In general, I decided to stop looking dull. Next, I found a new job. Instead of my usual office work, I took on a role organising parties and events. Thanks to the new job, I discovered a whole world of unique entertainments.
A week later, my wife came back and was absolutely stunned by the changes. From that day on, I promised her that wed live differently. And so we did. Home became somewhere we scarcely sawwe were always out and about, making new and interesting friends. Each evening wed be out, whether to a club, a restaurant, a pub, a party, a friends house, or just somewhere fun. Sometimes wed go camping, cycling, or kayaking. Weekends could see us heading off to another city entirely.
Months passed in this whirlwind of activity, and suddenly Emma began hinting that she wanted some peace and quiet again, just to stay in for once. She confessed that she missed home-cooked meals and my old cakes. I simply had no time to be stuck in the kitchen anymore. Id changed so much that now it was my company she missed.
Then, just a week later, my wife told me she couldnt keep up such a frantic pace. She wanted to go back to the good old daysquiet, cosy, peaceful. She wanted evenings at home, Sunday lunches at her parents, and proper homemade dinners, not something reheated from some delivery place.
By then, I realised that I no longer wanted that old life. Id tried so hard to adapt to those early days of adulthood, but now I simply couldnt imagine stepping back and giving it all up. The lifestyle we had now really suited me. Admittedly, Id enjoyed the old days as well, but I wouldnt change back, not now. So, this time, when Emma said she wanted to put everything back the way it was, it erupted into a proper row.
In the end, her dream came trueplates were smashed, the neighbours called in, the police were summoned. My wife packed her things and went to her mothers. I imagine she thinks shell come back and find everything as it used to be. Thats asking far too much. Were not film characters, and people just dont change back that easily. Emma will come home to find the divorce papers on the kitchen table, alongside a note: I got bored. I simply cant live with you anymore.
