Oh, you know what really gets me? That quote by Erich Maria Remarque about women who scrimp on themselves—it’s spot on, honestly.
*”When you ask for little, you’re given little. First, you cut corners on yourself, then everyone else starts cutting corners on you…”*
Remarque once said, *”A woman who skimps on herself only makes men want to skimp on her too!”* And isn’t that the truth? First, we shortchange ourselves, then life starts shortchanging us right back.
Modesty, good manners, kindness—they’re all lovely traits, the kind you read about in novels where they’re rewarded in the end. But real life’s a bit different, isn’t it? For every person who’ll appreciate them, there’s another who’ll just see them as an open invitation to take advantage.
Not every good quality works in your favour—sometimes, they can be downright destructive. When a decent person ends up next to someone who isn’t, their kindness just ends up serving the wrong side. Remember that.
Kind, well-mannered, modest people—they’ve got to learn how to read others, so they don’t end up being walked all over. But to do that, they’ve got to start by looking inward and asking: *Why do women so often skimp on themselves, and what do they really get out of it?*
No one’s going to thank you for putting yourself last. And it’s not just about money—it’s about time, rest, squeezing your own desires into the background for everyone else’s sake. That’s what it means to cut corners on your own life.
People get used to it—when you settle for less, they’ll give you less. First, you’re the one doing it to yourself, then suddenly, everyone else joins in. And women end up exhausted, disillusioned. When a woman finally stops and asks life, *”Why is everything for everyone else and nothing for me?”*—silence.
No one’s going to cheer because you’re worn out, because you’ve lost the will to enjoy things, because you’re miserable. No one’s going to thank you for being the one who always makes do with less—not you, not anyone around you.
Bad habits lead to a bad life:
* Good habits don’t always lead to a good life, but bad habits? They’ll *always* drag you down. The habit of putting yourself last usually starts when someone else comes into the picture—a partner, kids. Suddenly, your whole world rearranges: you’re no longer the main character in your own life. A mother loves her child so much she’ll sacrifice everything. A woman in love will give up her time, her comfort, her ambitions just to be with him. And before you know it, the kids expect it, your partner expects it—*you* trained them to.
So what happens when a woman finally wants her life back? When she stops shortchanging herself? The people she did it all for—they’ll be furious. Oh yes. No one’s going to say, *”What a wonderful time we had, thank you! Now it’s our turn to put you first!”* No, they’ll just get mad. *How dare you take back what they thought was theirs by default?*
If she caves to that anger, years—decades—will slip by before she realises: *”Where did my life go?”* If you don’t want yours to vanish behind everyone else’s, stop cutting corners on yourself. Don’t let them, either. Everyone deserves happiness.
Self-doubt ruins millions of chances:
* What does it really mean to skimp on yourself? It’s thinking you’re not good enough for that job you want, that there are smarter people out there who deserve it more. That you shouldn’t even try dancing or painting because you’ve never done it before, and look at all the talented people around you—why bother? That other women are better just because their nose is straighter or their hair’s thicker.
Settling for less becomes a habit—one that makes you aim low and accept even lower. It builds a fear of rejection: if something doesn’t work out, if someone says no, you take it as proof you should shrink your dreams even more.
It’s a habit that stops you from dreaming, from reaching for what seems too far away—from happiness itself.
Don’t skimp on the time you give yourself, on evenings lost in a great book, on your dreams, on the little things you love. Time spent joyfully isn’t wasted—it’s what keeps you going.
Sometimes I think people act like they’ve got forever. They wait for chances to fall into their laps, compare themselves to others, wait for the “right moment,” and put everything off—shortchanging themselves all the while.
Don’t shrink your own possibilities. Never measure yourself against someone else. If I compared myself to other writers, I’d start skimping on paper and ink, thinking I wasn’t worthy of them.
— Erich Maria Remarque.
