The habits in my husband’s family just make me sick, I can’t go to them

The habits in my husband’s family just make me sick, I can’t go to them

I can’t go to visit my husband’s parents, I just vomit from some of their habits. I can’t help it, it makes me squeamish to sit at their table. I’m ready to talk to them, but I can’t come to the table. My husband sees nothing of the sort, and my mother-in-law thinks that I am just a sissy and a princess who is always in the wrong.

My husband and I, thank God, live separately. Alas, not far enough away from my husband’s parents to make do with just phone calls, I have to go to visit them. Every time it is stressful for me, I try to find an excuse not to go to them. In general, my husband has an ordinary family – father and mother, both work, both with higher education. Their home is cozy and tidy, but as soon as they sit down at the table, I get a big shiver. I’m a pretty squeamish person, just to be clear: I never taste anything from my husband’s spoon if he has already licked it. I just can’t do it, no matter how hard I try.

If the situation with my husband is somehow corrected over time, this man is becoming closer to me, but I can’t get used to his parents. And with them everything is very simple. For example, my mother-in-law mixed salad in a common bowl, tried the salt, licked the spoon and stuck it back into the salad. I mean, that’s “ew.”

Or else – they drink hard liquor, and I usually buy my own wine. My mother-in-law can safely take my glass and sip it to try it. Why would she do that? It’s unhygienic at the very least. She’s a stranger. I try to inconspicuously replace my glass, not focusing on this, but it works not always. My father-in-law’s behavior makes me kind of furious. They will then spend the entire evening teasing me, sometimes quite hurtful. My husband tries to intercede, but it does not change the situation.

My mother-in-law also has a habit of dumping back uneaten food. For example, she heated soup, not finished, so she poured from the plate back into the pan and put it in the fridge, well, if there is no mayonnaise or sour cream. That’s what they do with all the food. Even salads that are left on guests’ plates after the party. For this reason, I never eat dishes at my husband’s parents’ house that aren’t cooked right now. There’s a good chance there are leftovers from other plates.

Also, my husband’s mother has the sweetest habit of spitting on the frying pan before frying anything on it. It’s her way of checking the degree of heat. There are a million ways to do it more hygienically, so why do it that way? But my mother-in-law says there’s nothing left over from this temperature anyway, so it’s okay. And I’m scared, I’ve seen it, and now I can’t get it out of my head.

It finally knocked me out at one time when I saw that they let the dog lick the plates. After another feast, a deep dish of potatoes and goulash was left around the edges, so that bowl just went to the floor, where the dog took over. Then this dish was just put in the sink with the other plates, as if it was supposed to be.

I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I was indignant that it was too much to eat out of the plate after the dog. But I looked at me like an idiot and said that in general they thoroughly wash all dishes. Who cares! The dog should not eat from human dishes. I suggested to my mother-in-law that since there was nothing wrong with it, I should wash the dog’s bowl and eat from it. She was so offended. What did I say? According to her logic, it turned out that it was no big deal, because the bowl was washed. My husband then insisted that I overreacted, although I think I’m right.

I really do not want to go to visit my in-laws. Well, or go with their dishes and food, which I am sure. But then the holiday will be spoiled, and my mother-in-law will be insulted to the core. I do not know what to do. I do not want to set my husband up, because if I don’t come, he’ll turn off all the brain, but I do not want to go there myself, because I hate it.

I dream of moving to another city so I don’t have to go to my mother-in-law’s house. I can talk to her on the phone, but I don’t want to visit her.

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The habits in my husband’s family just make me sick, I can’t go to them