Dear Diary,
I paced the flat, jerking open and shut the wardrobe doors in a nervous rhythm. The thought kept looping in my head: divorce? Yes, divorce thats what it felt like.
Did you think Id just sit there and watch you flirt with everyone? Eleanor shouted, hurling her handbag onto the couch. Divorce and split the assets! Gather your cash and get out. This is my flat.
This flat might be yours, but everything inside is mine. I bought it all, I retorted.
Run away, you coward! Eleanor snapped, pulling her bangs back with a furious swipe. I dont want to see you again!
We had married a year ago, headoverheels, barely tolerating each others quirks. Wed met on a bright summer day on the pavement, locked eyes, turned at the same instant, laughed, and struck up a conversation. He walked me home, we said goodnight in the dark, met again at dawn, and never let go. Everything was perfectuntil yesterday, when a pang of jealousy hit me like a cold splash.
Eleanors old school friend, Nicole, popped up at the mall, her lips plumped and hair styled exactly like the girl from our teenage years. Eleanor barely recognised her.
Did you recognise me? Nicole teased, grabbing Eleanors sleeve. Or are you pretending not to? I spotted you from across the aislestill the same, all dull and grey
Nicole? Im sorry, I didnt Eleanor stammered, fearing to offend. She stared at Nicole as if seeing her mothers twin. Nicole copied her haircut and looked at least fifteen years older than she should.
Fancy a coffee? Nicole suggested, My legs are killing me after a morning jog and a shopping spree. My dads birthdays coming up and Ive been sent to sort the listcant find half of it.
Why not? I said, eager for a bite. I could use a drink.
Eleanor didnt object. We hadnt seen Nicole since graduation, almost a decade ago, and she wanted to catch up on where everyone ended up.
I ordered a pork chop with veg, while the girls got ice cream.
Remember Victor? Nicole asked, shooting a glance at me. The lad who used to chase me.
Of course I do. Wasnt it the other way round? I think you were the one waiting for him in the changing rooms, I replied.
Oh, thats right! He stalked me for two years. Hes settled now in Manchester, family there, decent job. Who would have guessed? Hes become a proper gent, Nicole continued, eyes flicking to me. And what about Jenny Varley? Shes nowhere to be seen.
I havent heard, things are messy. She had a baby and he vanished. The boys always swooped in. Remember Vlad Pahomov? He kept asking me to dance at the prom. He married, got divorced He posts cute hearts under his photos, not my style. And your Gary? He got married and turned farmer!
Why are you talking about Gary? I whispered to Eleanor, slicing into my meat.
Eleanor, however, began to stir.
I wasnt chasing Gary, youre mixing things up, she said, pulling a compact mirror and a tube of lipstick from her bag, reapplying her gloss. Stan, are you done? Weve been at this forever.
We stood, said our goodbyes, but Nicole hung back.
Are you driving? Could you give me a lift? Im not keen on lugging my bags on the tube.
She slipped into the passenger seat, draped her bags over her knees, and twirled her hair coquettishly.
I thought you were rolling in chocolate, but your car looks a bit modest. No decent loan, huh? I could help my husband get a nicer one.
Listen, love, I laughed, turning to Eleanor, what the clever folk say. I wanted to splurge, you wanted to keep the budget, wed both break the bank
No, no, you need a reliable car. This one cant even handle a country lane. My brother in Europe got me a proper motor. Its a whole different league. Want my number? Hell sort something decent for you.
Its obvious youre a businesswoman, Eleanor chuckled, helping your brothers venture? Fine, give me the number, might come in handy someday.
I sat behind Nicole, trying to stay calm, turning the uncomfortable chat into a joke.
As soon as we got home, Eleanor snapped.
You think shes the good one and Im the bad one? You didnt let the boy buy a car? Held back money? Youre allmouth now! She lunged at me, eyes blazing.
Are you serious? I asked, bewildered. You dont get jokes, youre jealous
Whos who? Do you think I havent seen you both flirting? If I werent in the car, youd already be elsewhere! She humbles me and you just nod along.
Enough. Im fed up. A petty fight over nothing.
Are you tired of me? Im a pest? I figured it out. Im done, divorce. I dont want to see you again.
Its over then, I said, feeling the weight of the room.
She went on, Ive said everything.
I know if youre making a scene over this, maybe we rushed into this marriage.
Exactly!
I had hoped shed just give me a warning, that Id apologise, that we could patch things up. I never imagined the argument would spiral like this, but I wasnt backing down.
So its divorce, then. I stopped in the middle of the room, looking around. Well split the assets as the law says.
Youve always been a cheapskate, Eleanor muttered.
If I demand fairness, does that make me cheap? Im not a fool handing everything to a petulant doll. Ill take the furniture, you keep the flat.
No, we bought that furniture together. Well split it halfandhalf. You get the wardrobe, I get the chest of drawers, you the sofa, I the table
Stop! Your halfandhalf is nonsense. Im taking the sofa, I bought it with my own blood money.
I see no point bargaining. I wont give you the sofa. Ill call our parents.
Fine, bring out the heavy artillery. Ill call mine too.
Our parents arrived quickly, first trying to mediate, then presenting their own calculations.
From our side we helped with a modest flat, paid for the wedding, contributed to furniture, the car, even the flats repairs. Stans salary is ten times yours, hes fed, clothed, and dressed you for a whole year. If you think fairly, you should leave everything to Eleanor, my mother-inlaw declared.
My fatherinlaw sat mute, dabbing sweat from his forehead with a large handkerchief, his face flushing red and then paling as he listened.
My motherinlaw, breathing hard, opened her mouth to say more, but my father placed a hand on her shoulder.
Anna, well need solicitors. Well go to court if we have to. No point wasting time or nerves.
He stood, signalling the end of the discussion.
Eleanor, are you with us? my motherinlaw asked.
No, Eleanor replied, standing in a defensive pose. Ill guard the flat so no one sneaks anything out.
Through the courts then, she proclaimed loudly. Well gather every receipt, every bank statement. Well claim everything back. You, Stan, keep watch that no spoon or plate disappears. Come on, Gary, start collecting the paperwork, she ordered my husband.
I see, Eleanor muttered, when they left. Your mothers clearly knows what shes doing.
What? Thats not right? I asked.
God, what have I gotten myself into! You can drown in receipts, but the flat is mine, and you wont see a thing of it. Ill never hand over the sofa, dont even dream. The rest you can take if you like.
We chose that sofa together, so its yours as much as mine. My salary is far higher, we bought everything on that. Eleanor, stop being a drama queen. Why are you so worked up?
Im worked up? Really? Hes flirting with anyone, and Im the one left on the side. Ive worked for you all yearcooker, cleaner, laundress, dishwasher! And you never let me sleep in the bed!
Thats paid for too? Brilliant! Stan burst out laughing.
Did you think youd found a free servant? He bought everything, a benefactor!
But the truth is, I bought it. My parents always helped with money. Mothers right, the sofa is mine, I wont leave without it. The wardrobe, carpet, PC, even your bag I bought.
I even bought you a sweater, gloves, underwear! Take it off!
He stumbled in the middle of the room, raised an eyebrow, and moved toward her with a sly grin.
Alright, hold on! Im taking it off
The sofa was plush and springy
In the morning I woke to his mocking eyes.
What are you laughing at? he asked.
Im thinking I dont want to part with such a brilliant sofa.
The sofa, huh?
Who else?
Swear youll never flirt with any other lips again! Eleanor demanded, grabbing my ears and staring straight into my eyes.
I swear, no more lips, I laughed. Id do anything for that sofa.
