– What do you need? Emily asked, bewildered.
What could anyone possibly need at their own cottage? To dig in the beds, plant a few things thats it, just the usual routine!
Are you all right, Mum? Is your head not feeling warm?
Mum had been admitted to the hospital almost straight after her husbands funeral: an acute flareup of ischaemic heart disease, precisely on the fortieth day.
Everyone took it as a given: the couple had lived peacefully, and the wife was devastated by her husbands passing. So much so that everyone assumed sixtyyearold Margaret would be left to herself! After all, her husband was gone, and she supposedly needed no one else.
Father had died instantly no lingering pain: he sat down to watch his favourite series and simply collapsed. They had been preparing for a silver anniversary, but instead had to organise a funeral.
From father remained a modest threebed house and a decent cottage on a plot of land they were finishing it up when Emily was still a child.
One weekend Emily drove out to the cottage the sowing season was approaching. Unexpectedly she found a strange man there, his face faintly familiar. Of course it was the doctor from the hospital where Mum had been lying!
Yes, a stranger was wandering the plot, and he was in his birthday suit!
The possible explanations were simple enough: a kindly physician came for a routine checkup, to make sure his patient was still in good health.
Even though discharge had been six months ago, it was still the right time for a health screening!
But why was he halfnaked? Where was his stethoscope? He wasnt exactly in his scrubs!
The sun was already scorching, and strolling around someone elses garden in that state demanded a considerable amount of nerve.
Mum met her daughter with a frown:
– What do you want?
– What do you mean, what do you want? Emily repeated, surprised.
What could one possibly need at their own cottage? To turn over the soil, plant a few seedlings everything as usual!
Are you alright, Mum? Is your head not feeling hot?
My head isnt hot. Then why, Mum?
– What exactly is it you dont like? Mum, now called Margaret, looked calmly at her daughter.
The doctor, a man of about sixty, stepped closer and offered his greeting.
He seemed entirely unfazed by the fact that he stood there in nothing but his underwear in front of a pretty thirtyfiveyearold woman.
Apparently his selfcontrol was rather impressive.
Emily nodded, ended the conversation it made her feel both embarrassed and ashamed and slipped back into the house, unsure what to do next.
Leaving immediately didnt appeal to her; that would mean abandoning the battlefield before the fight even began.
But staying? She imagined him wandering the plot, brandishing whatever, as her grandmother used to say.
Emily drank some water and decided she must get to the bottom of it. Specifically: why was the doctor behaving as if he were at home? And what plans did Mum have with him?
– He is, in fact, at home! Margaret explained. And the plans are grand, stretching far ahead: well get married!
– Marry right away? the stunned daughter asked. What about Dads memory and everlasting love? Did the songs of old not speak of that?
– We could marry crookedly! Margaret joked, then laughed at her own joke. And you, Emily, should stop lingering: see, the man is shy!
Good heavens, hes shy! Emily thought, offended. Even imagine what would happen if he werent!
She whispered aloud:
– Could he be shy somewhere else? And why is he in his birthday suit?
– Where else would he be? Margaret replied, deadserious. And without his trousers hed be uncomfortable!
We love each other, and everything will be shared: my house will be his house!
Youd better leave, honestly!
– Why? the daughter protested. I have a right to claim my inheritance!
Thus I have every right to be present on my share!
It turned out the situation wasnt as rosy as it seemed: the cottage was fully registered to Mum she was the sole owner of the house and the land.
Fathers name did not appear on any title! Therefore it wasnt inheritance at all, and could not be divided.
So, better for you to go, Emily! Here youre nobody, while Im sorting my own life!
Emily sank onto a bench, feeling as if she truly was nobody if Mum wasnt lying, of course. But why would she lie?
The plot had also been given to Emilys grandmother, who had received it from the design bureau where she worked; back then everyone got a plot.
The house had been started before the granddaughter was born, and was still being finished when she arrived.
– Why are you the only registered owner? the young woman asked.
– Your father never cared for material things! He spent his whole life in the clouds! Margaret explained cheerfully.
During the whole conversation the halfnaked doctor suddenly stopped digging he had started raking the beds: a very practical, earthy task!
Leaning on his spade, he nodded with a balding crown, as if saying: I completely agree, dear!
His eyes held a deep moral satisfaction, and more than that
The seedlings, now out of their trays, stood under the sun while Emily sat silently beside them: perhaps she would have to leave.
According to the paperwork she held no claim to the cottage; a child could not be listed as an owner. And she was still a child.
Emily, caught in a daze they often spent holidays at the cottage with the family left without a proper farewell.
One thought kept looping in her mind: why was Mum acting this way, and why the sudden hatred toward her own daughter?
Could the intruding therapist be to blame?
At the same time she sensed the cottage had gone mad, as her grandmother used to say. Something that should never have happened had happened. In short, nothing like this ever occurred, and yet it was happening again!
Then the young woman thought perhaps this was not the only hidden snag!
Maybe something would go wrong with the flat where she owned a share as well: Mum suddenly turned out to be very enterprising and shrewd.
Max, Emilys husband, was startled by his wifes sudden appearance: she usually didnt return before Sunday night. Now it was only Saturday noon.
– Anything with Margaret? Max asked his palelooking Emily, after learning of Mums ischaemic heart condition, the whole family was genuinely worried about her health.
Emily and Max had been married ten years; their eightyearold daughter, Violet, spent all summer holidays with granddad and grandma at the cottage. That weekend a second grandmother Maxs mother took her away.
Emily sniffed and told her husband a sad story: The cottage isnt shining for us! And the flat is a mess too!
– Ah, the motherinlaw! Max chuckled. Thats why the heart condition didnt stop anything!
Well, well, good on you, Mum! Do you even remember the surname of the doctor who roams the plot in his underwear?
– Its Finch Margaret recalled. I even spoke with him once about Mum!
But without his coat and stethoscope she didnt recognise him he seemed a completely different man
Max searched online and discovered that Dr. Rupert Finch was married!
– Then how could he be about to marry Mum? Emily asked, shocked.
– Hell divorce, surely! Bigamy isnt allowed here! Max guessed. But we should discuss it with Margaret.
Lets drive to a place they were supposed to work today. And sort out the cottage: I think Mum is a bit confused about your rights and hers!
They drove to Maxs friend, a solicitor famed for almost never losing a case the devils advocate, they joked.
Valerie Victor, the solicitor, explained they could try an amicable settlement; if that failed, theyd have to go to court.
Because the cottage and the land had been bought during the marriage, and regardless of whose name it was under, it counted as joint property: Mum hadnt built it only with her own money!
After that counsel, the couple, feeling uplifted, returned to the cursed cottage to negotiate peacefully and hammer away at the garden, never stepping away from the cash register.
But a peaceful agreement proved impossible: this time Mum even barred them from entering! You cant argue with an elderly woman whose heart is a ticking bomb!
– Then well sue! the soninlaw shouted over the fence.
– As many times as you like! the doctortherapist roared, fully adopting the role of owner.
So they lodged a claim.
This sparked a wave of genteel indignation in Mum: To take Mum to court? My husbands corpse is turning over in his coffin because of a daughter like you! I raised you, and you?
– Fathers coffin is turning because of this widow! She didnt even observe mourning she dragged a married man onto the property! What a scandal! Emily exploded.
– Nothing will work for you! Margaret bellowed, having arrived personally to deliver her fe the lover was left in the car. The cottage is mine and cannot be split! Youll get a slice of the flat, but dont even look at the cottage!
Violet will divorce, well marry and live there in summer! No court will side with you! Go buy your own cottage, and keep quiet about someone elses bread!
Thats what Mum, who had recently fainted at a funeral, cried, clutching her daughter: Youre the only one left, Emily!
Honestly, Emily was embarrassed to drag everything to court. Yet there was no other way: Margaret refused any outofcourt settlement.
The court granted Emily a quarter of the cottage and a quarter of the flat the rest went to Mum.
It wasnt a godsend, but it was something.
Margaret shrieked like a wounded animal, behaving terribly: she refused to let her daughter set foot on her land it simply wasnt part of her plan.
The judge then ordered everything sold, proceeds divided according to inheritance shares, or the parties could buy each other out.
Emily offered to buy the cottage from Mum. Selling it to her mother felt cruel, but Margaret agreed; she was offered something else in return.
A notarised agreement was drawn up: if Emily bought the cottage, she would surrender her share of Mums flat divide and rule!
In the end, Mum became the sole owner of the flat plus a tidy sum for the boughtout share, while Emily walked away with the cottage.
Violet vanished! He even quit his job at the hospital! Perhaps he was angry his share went elsewhere, or his pension had ended.
Money didnt solve everything: now they could divorce and throw another costly wedding in a fancy restaurant with a toastmaster! But there was no one left to plan it.
Margaret, still battling heart disease, was left without medical supervision
And Emily and Mum reconciled after the lover disappeared, Mum snapped back to herself, suddenly the loving mother, grandmother, and motherinlaw once more. Everything became shared again: the flat and the cottage.
Margaret blamed her odd behaviour on a temporary clouding of mind, Mercury retrograde, and an approaching unknown asteroid.
Or perhaps just the solar flares thats always a safe excuse!
And maybe soon the Earth will tilt on its axis, if it can dodge that looming asteroid
