SILLY GIRL
Everyone thought Annie was a bit daft. Shed been married to her husband for fifteen years. They had two kids: Alice, age fourteen, and young Simon, whod just turned seven. Her husband Phil had a talent for straying, practically wearing a badge for it. The first time he cheated was the day after their wedding, with the waitress at the reception. After that, too many to count. Her friends tried to shake her awake, but Annie always just smiled sweetly and said nothing.
Annie worked as a bookkeeper at a childrens toy factory. By her own admission, her pay was quite pitiful, and the work piled up to the heavens. She often had to work weekends, and as for quarterly and yearly reportsshed sometimes not come home at all for days. Phil earned a tidy sum, but Annie, bless her, wasnt much of a homemaker. No matter how much he handed over, there was never enough for groceries. The fridge was perennially barren, and at best, shed rustle up a bit of stew and some overdone pasta with meatballs. Thats simply how they lived. People were forever bemused when they spotted Phil prancing around town with his latest flame. Hed also roll home looking as dry as the Sahara, if you catch my drift.
Annie must be barking! Why on earth does she put up with that philandering lout? folks would mutter.
On the day little Simon turned ten, Phil strode in and announced he wanted a divorce. He claimed he’d fallen in love and the family life no longer suited him.
Dont take it personally, Annie, but Im filing for divorce. Youre as cold as a British summer. You could at least be a decent homemaker, but honestly, youre not even that, he sniffed.
All right, I agree to divorce, Annie replied, perfectly calm.
Phil almost toppled off his chair. Hed braced for a row, some hysterics, maybe a flood of tears. He certainly hadnt expected this iceberg of composure.
Fine. Just pack your things, I wont get in your way. Leave your key under the doormat when you go.
Annie smiled at him in a way that was suspiciously serene and kept quiet. Somethings off here, flashed across Phils mind, but it vanished just as quickly. He started picturing his new, blissful lifea life without kids, and without the wife who had become such a bore.
The next day, Phil arrived at his flat with his shiny new girlfriend in tow. He had a quick rummage under the doormatno key. This soured his mood a bit.
Oh well, Ill just get the locks changed, no big deal, he said grandly, and tried his own key. No luckit wouldnt fit. He rang the bell. The door swung open to reveal a mountain of a man in slippers and a dressing gown.
Whats all this then, mate? said the fellow.
This is my flat, Phil stammered, not feeling nearly as certain as hed hoped.
Well, Ill have to see some paperwork to that effect, wont I? If youve got documents, lets be having them.
Of course, Phil had no proof of ownership on him, and the gentle giant wasn’t letting him through the door. Suddenly it struck himhis passport! That should have his registered address. He fished about, found it, and handed it over. The chap in the dressing gown flicked through, gave a lopsided grin, and passed it back.
When was the last time you had a look at this booklet, mate?
Suddenly uneasy, Phil flipped it open at the address page. There were two stamps: one registering him, the second striking him offover two years ago.
How could that be? He wasnt about to argue with the wardrobe in the hallway, so he tried phoning Annie, but she was nowhere to be found.
He decided to wait for her at the factory gate. No luck there either. It turned out Annie hadnt worked there for over a year. Their daughter was studying abroad now, but surely young Simon would still be at his school? Another dead end. Simon had transferred schools the year before, and naturallysince dad didnt know about itnobody would give out their new details.
Phil, wild-eyed and defeated, slumped onto a park bench, head in hands. How had it come to this? His Anniesilent, passive, sort of soft-boiledhad pulled off such a caper. And how had she managed to shift the flat out from under him, that was the question. Still, the courts would sort it all out. Divorce hearing in a week.
He marched into the divorce court, furious and full of righteous pep. Time to unmask the fraudster and get everything back.
Well, it all became abundantly clear before long. Turns out, two years ago, hed forgotten all about signing a general power of attorney, giving Annie full control of their assets. At the time, he was utterly infatuated with Lisa, a stunning woman who made him light-headed every time she walked by. When Annie asked for itfor the daughters university forms, permissions, this and thathe barely thought about what he was signing. His solicitor had even suggested granting it to “save time.” In his lovestruck haze, he signed away everything he had. And now he was left empty-handed, no home, no family. Most insultingly, when Lisa found out he was officially homeless, she vanished like a lost umbrella at the bus stop.
Well, fine. Shell file for child maintenance, but she wont get a penny from me. Ill teach her a lesson there, if nowhere else.
Alas, disappointment awaited him yet again. Instead of a maintenance claim, Phil received a summons for a paternity challenge. As it turned out, neither child was his.
Annie had seen him cheat on her with the waitress on their wedding day. Something snapped inside her that she couldnt quite explain. Her mind conjured up a most original form of revenge: betrayal for betrayal. From then on, she started putting aside every penny Phil gave her for household expenses. The fridge was cheerfully empty, but the children were always well-fed and well-dressed at their grans. Annies mum shook her head at her daughters stubbornness.
Revenge will be the death of you, itll ruin the kids heads as well.
But Annie marched on, dogged as ever. She even ordered a DNA test, though she knew without a doubt whod fathered her children.
That blow was brutal. Phil could just about take losing the flat, but learning the kids weren’t his nearly did him in.
Beware the women youve wrongedwhen properly riled, theyre capable of just about anything.
