The end! Sixteen years he put me down, and I endured it…
Then, come spring, everything changed…
I never imagined anything could shake up the stagnant life I’d led for those long 16 years.
I had lost hope long ago.
At 22, I got married, convinced I’d found the one I’d spend my life with. Lily was my everything, drawing me in with an inexplicable charm. I was so taken with her that even her quirks seemed endearing.
Like her habit of flinging open the window in winter and yanking the covers off me at dawn to wake me up.
Or her favorite “joke” of making me spin around in front of friends, as if I were on display.
She made decisions for me.
Picked where I’d work.
Decided where we’d vacation.
Determined which of my friends were worth keeping and who should be cut out.
And I let her.
I thought that’s how it was meant to be—that this was love.
I was blind.
I believed a child would change everything…
When our marriage began falling apart, I honestly thought a child would save us.
I was wrong.
Lily abandoned me in this struggle.
She didn’t care about my fears or my worries, not even when doctors said we had slim chances.
She easily accepted that she had children from a previous marriage, and that we might not have any together.
But for me, it was painful.
For her, it was just another opportunity to belittle me.
She blamed me for everything.
— You can’t give me a child!
— You can’t even cook. I’ll get an ulcer from your food!
— You’re not a man if you can’t handle something so simple!
I felt worthless.
I tried to fight back, seeing doctors, getting tested, undergoing treatments.
But it was all in vain.
She was breaking me while I endured it.
Eventually, I gave in.
I withdrew, stopped talking to people, and became distant.
I became a shadow of my former self.
I no longer recognized the confident young man who once dreamed of a family, happiness, and children.
I’d look at myself in the mirror and see a pitiful person, too afraid to speak up.
Whenever I tried to argue that I didn’t deserve constant put-downs, that I wanted respect, Lily would laugh at me:
— You? Who do you think you are? You’re pathetic! You’re worse than any street beggar!
She knew I had nowhere else to go.
She convinced everyone I was worthless, weak, useless.
And I began to believe it myself.
She’d tell me that without her, I’d be lost, that there was no chance I’d survive alone.
And so, I stayed.
But in March, everything changed…
I only had one friend left—Emma.
She’d moved to England for work, but returned in the spring because her husband fell seriously ill.
Then he passed away.
Emma was left alone in her house. Her sons had long moved abroad.
I began visiting her after work, sometimes staying overnight.
At first, Lily disapproved, then she started making scenes, and eventually, she resorted to threats.
— You can’t go there!
— I’ll drag you away by your hair!
— I’ll lock you in the house!
— I’ll file for divorce!
One evening, Emma looked at me and said:
— Hopefully, she does file for divorce!
We exchanged glances, and suddenly it hit me: this was my chance.
Emma offered for me to stay at her place when she returned to England.
Without rent to pay, I could live on just my salary.
I agreed.
I left. I chose myself.
Since then, I’ve been living in her flat.
I wake up in the morning, go to the window, look at the old building I once shared with Lily, and quietly say:
— Good morning, Sam!
I look at my life now and realize: I am free.
I am no longer afraid.
I’ve begun to smile again.
I’ve relearned how to live.
I glance towards Lily’s place and think:
“There’s always a way out, my dear!”
I put on a clean shirt, step out of the house, walk down the street, and hold my head high.
Now, I am unbreakable.
