The Crystal Kitten

The Crystal Kitten

Three sisters at the window
Mum, isnt that just like you and your sisters?
Clara sighed.
More or less. Are you planning to get any sleep tonight? Ive still got work to do. Otherwise, youll be nodding off tomorrow at the party.
Oh! Right. Im sleeping! Polly wriggled further under the duvet, but almost immediately popped out her freckled nose. Will there be balloons? Is Millie coming? And
Clara scooped her up, cocooned her in the duvet, and showered her with kisses, ignoring her squeals.
Sleep! All will be revealed in the morning!
She handed Polly her favourite teddy bear and left with a smile, pausing to switch on the nightlight. Polly was still wary of the dark, so Clara always made sure there was a gentle glow throughout their cottage.
Clara headed downstairs, closed the kitchen door behind her, and opened her laptop. So much still had to be done, but for a few quiet minutes, she allowed herself to gather her thoughts. Tomorrow was a big day. Not just because it was Pollys birthday and Clara loved nothing more than arranging a celebration for her daughter. Tomorrow, family were comingand that, truth be told, brought more anxiety than joy.
Shaking her head, Clara reached for the kettle. No point borrowing trouble from tomorrow; tonight, finishing the annual accounts was the pressing concern. Placing a steaming mug of tea beside her laptop and opening a stack of paperwork, Clara once again thanked her grandmothers advice to become an accountant. Had she gone with her childhood dream of being a marine biologist, life would certainly be different. There would have been more adventure, perhaps, but much less certainty. She sighed, imagining the sound of the sea, and smiled. It wouldnt be long now before she and Polly would take their long-awaited holiday, assuming nothing else cropped up. With that, Clara began to work.

Clara was born into the Matthews familylong-awaited and doted on by both parents and her two grandmothers.
Youll need a second straight awayso they have each other, her grannies urged. Her mother, Linda, agreed, and so Claras sister Jenny arrived less than two years later.
They were the best of friends in childhood, always vying to impress one another. Linda was determined to avoid quarrels, always reminding them there was no one closer on earth than a sister. She convinced the schools headteacher to place them in the same class, and together they started Year One, offering silent comfort by lightly tapping their brand new shoes under the deskIm here, dont be afraid. Clara was the anxious one, always conscientious. Marked by resolve, she did every assignment with precision, unlike Jenny, who could abandon her English homework halfway through in favour of counting the sparrows from their window.
Clara! Wheres your maths bookyouve finished the sums, havent you? Pass it over and lets go outside!
Do it yourself! Clara would snatch the book away. If Mrs Knight splits us up again during a test like last time, what then? Need a hand with the tricky questions?
Jenny would pout and sulkfor all of half an hourbefore tugging Clara outside to skate or feed the ducks at the pond.
Midway through secondary school, little Lucy arrived. Linda hadnt planned a third child; two were more than enough. And the news of another baby didnt thrill her.
Starting over again! Im not a young girl, Tom. Im tired.
But youve got two helpers and Im here as well. Besides, who knows, maybe a boy this time! What a surprise that would be!
But Lucy came insteada loud and willful girl, so unlike her sisters that Linda initially felt at a loss. Before long, Clara and Jenny realised Lucy was the undisputed boss of the family.

Motherhood in her forties was different for Linda. With the older girls, shed craved just five spare minutes of quiet, but with Lucy she devoted herself contentedly to late-night feeds and endless care, gradually leaving her older daughters to fend for themselves. She delegated chores to the older girls, unwittingly tuning out of their daily worries.
Linda didnt see it comingthe divide between the sisters.
The cause was a boy named Sam. He lived two houses down. The girls had taken no notice of Sam, right up until Clara turned sixteen. Rushing home from the sports club one day, Clara was intercepted by Sam.
Clara, a word?
He fidgeted under her steady gaze.
Ive really got to run. Mums expecting me. Six, by the lamppost, Clara smiled gently.
Sam beamed.
I like you, Clara!
I had gathered, she laughed, her silvery chuckle catching flickers of sunlight through the linden trees, before she dashed away.

With whom could she share this trembling thrillthe feeling of holding her breath as someone unknown became someone special. The first date, utterly clueless where to look, what to do. The first kissdreadful, and yet, unexpectedly sweet. Of course, Clara told Jenny, though not straight away. Jenny noticed a change and pestered until Clara confessed all about Sam.

Looking back, Jenny couldnt explain why she suddenly wanted Sams attention. Truthfully, he had never interested her, but now nothing seemed more crucial.
Clara was oblivious until one day she saw Sam and Jenny kissing among the roses. She walked past them in silence, retreated home, and locked herself in her room, ignoring Lucys outraged shouts in the hallway.
Clara! What on earthlet Lucy in! Open this instant!
Clara had always been obedient. She opened the door; Linda took one look and realised something terrible had happened. Shutting the door on Lucy, who protested from the corridor, Linda embraced her eldest.
Whats happened, darling?
Mum, it hurts, Clara whispered, hugging herself miserably, Why? Why did Jenny do this?
Linda wrapped her close.
What can I do, love?
Clara stared out into the garden, unspeaking. How can anyone put such heartache into words?
Help me pack, Mum. I need to stay with Granny for a bit. I just cant stay here.
Cheeks pink from the frosty air, Jenny burst into the flat as Clara left, suitcases in hand.
Oh! And where do you think youre going?
Clara brushed past her and was gone, never to live under that roof again. Slamming the door, Linda turned on Jenny, her voice thick with tears.
How could you?
Jenny, clutching her cheek, watched Linda disappear with Lucy, shutting the door so sharply the crystal drops of the living room chandelier trembled.
No one in the Matthews family held a grudge for long. Within a week or two, Linda and Jenny were talking. For Clara, it was over two years before she spoke to her sister. Perhaps it would have taken even longer, had Linda not fallen ill, forcing the sisters to pull together for their mothers sake.
I am so, so sorry Jenny wrung her hands, unable even to clench her trembling fingers into a fist.
They sat in the garden of the hospital, waiting for the operation to finish.
He who digs up the past, finds trouble Clara turned towards her, and Jenny knew shed been forgiven, but not forgotten. Jenny tentatively placed her hand on Claras wrist, half expecting it to be shaken off. Clara left it, not moving away, but didnt respond. They sat like that until their father appeared to say the operation was a success.
From then on, the sisters alternated trips homehelping with Lucy, who, as Clara soon realised, had grown up to be petulant and headstrong. Lucy listened to no onenot sisters, not parents.
Linda recovered; life drew the sisters apart. Clara moved to Oxford to nurse their paternal grandmother and stayed. A year after she arrived, her granny passed away, leaving Clara the spacious flat just off the High Street.
Live, my dear, live your own life. Always stand by your own decisions. Even those you trust most, sometimes think only of themselves.

Clara had learned that lesson early. She never spoke of her heartache to her grandmother.
A few years later, she quietly married Andrew, inviting no one. There was no wedding as suchthey simply signed the register, marked the moment between the two of them. Andrew had no family of his own; Clara didnt want hers there.
They lived contentedly, their only sadness being an empty nursery. They both longed for a child, but it never happened.
Itll come when its meant to, Clara remained resolute.
Years passed, and they considered adopting, but life had other plans.
Clara wrote her family occasionally, exchanging birthday cards. A few times she and Andrew visited, but her familyespecially Lindanever really warmed to Andrew. Clara quietly let those ties fade.
I chose him, Mum. Thats all that matters.
Well, its your life. But really, with your education, talent and looksyou could have done so much better
Clara never managed to explain that Andrew was exactly the man for her. Calm and gentle, he nursed her through illnesses, cooked, cleaned, and never once questioned who was in charge just because she was the familys breadwinner.
Jenny, meanwhile, ran after her two boisterous children, forever complaining her husband did nothing.
You lucked out, Clara! I do everything hereit never ends and he just points out what I missed.
Clara didnt take her sisters moaning too seriously; Jenny was quite happy with life, really.
The same couldnt be said for Lucy.

Lucy became a beauty. Her older sisters were attractive, but Lucy outshone everyone.
Our Lucys a queen! Linda would exclaim, watching her youngest lounge in an armchair as her sisters set the table for their parents anniversary. Lucy hated family gatherings, enduring ten minutes of compliments before slipping out the door, deaf to her parents disappointment.
After school she declared, Im going to be a model! and with characteristic determination started her pursuit.
She hadnt counted on how much hard work it required. The schedule quickly bored her. Meeting her first serious businessman, Lucy thought nothing of moving into the flat he rented for her. She knew he was married with two children, but it didnt bother her. Any effort from her mother to talk sense into her was met with, Dont interfere, unless you want me out of your life completely. Ill do as I choose!
Lucy wanted much. She got little.
To tie the businessman to her, Lucy became pregnant, but her fantasy ended fast. Arguments, threats, even an attempt to expose him to his wife, who merely looked Lucy up and down, smirked, and brushed past:
Darling, youre not the first and wont be the last. But Im his wifehell never leave me.
Are you that sure? Lucy snapped, but secretly wondered what gave the woman such confidence.
Quite. Your naivety shocks meyoure not the first to turn up with such claims, you know.
But Im having his child!
You can have as many as you like. His real children are mine. If your child matters to youhave her. But dont expect anything. Thats legal advice, by the way.
The conversation was over. Lucy paced the flat, waited for her lover, and when he showed up, it was a disaster.
Deal with things yourself. Ill pay for the flat and child support. But were done. Appear at my door with that child and youll get nothing. Understand?
He left. Lucy stared at the closed door in disbelief. Shed always got what she wanteduntil now.

Caught up in the drama, Lucy missed all the deadlines. Soon, little Polly was born. From her first day home, Linda took over. Lucy spun between obsession and neglectnever letting anyone near her daughter but her mother, only to vanish for days at a time. Over the months, her absences grew. Linda was at a complete loss, and when news finally came of Lucys death in a late-night car crash, Linda was shattered.
Grief consumed Linda. She stopped caring for Polly entirely, leaving her husband Tom torn between his wife and their granddaughter. Desperate, he asked Jenny for help, but she refused.
Ive enough on my plate, Dadone kid more is too much!
Tom shook his head and called Clara.

Clara didnt hesitate, nor did she ask questions. She took leave from work, travelled down, and within a month, brought one-year-old Polly back with her to Oxford. Only their parents and Jenny knew Polly wasnt Claras daughter. While Clara handled the paperwork, Andrew sold their flat and finished work on their nearly-completed house at double speed.
Well done, Andrew! Everything just how I imagined! Clara walked through their new home, thinking life would never be the same.

Little Polly brought joy into their liveslively, bright as a bell, she filled their home with laughter and meaning. Nine years passed in a flash.
All that time, Clara spoke little to her family. They met rarely, on special occasions, and Clara felt uncomfortably scrutinised by Linda, who, since Lucys death, had become prickly.
You think youre up to it? You took her awayno thought for your mother, just yourself!
Clara did her best to ignore Lindas barbs; she felt only pity for her. She knew, however painful it was, that were anything to happen to Clara or Jenny, for their mother the loss wouldnt have been so ruinous. Lucy wasdifferent.

Lindas anger thawed when she gazed at Pollyso like Lucy as a small girl.
Shes beautiful, Clara. Dont stifle herlet her be happy!
Clara squeezed Andrews hand, pleading with her eyes for him not to speak the words that hovered on his lips.
Let it go shed whisper, and the storm passed.
But why, Clara? Isnt it better just to say it?
I dont know, Andrew. Mums anger comes from hurt.
Why must you bear it?
Perhaps because Im still here.
And if she hurts Polly? Andrew asked, his arms around Clara.
I dont think she will. Shes never hurt Lucys child.
Clara was right. Linda never let her bitterness reach Polly. She knew Polly was happythough it stung that the girl called Clara Mum, she kept quiet, understanding that the truth would only hurt her granddaughter.

Clara shut her laptop with a yawnpast midnight already! She finished the dregs of her cold tea and stared out at the moonlit street. If only Andrew were homehis assignment had dragged on longer than expected, but hed be back by the evening at least. She wondered what surprise he had for Polly.
Youll see! Its a surprise for both of you! hed laughed, refusing to give any clues.
Clara smiled again at her good fortune in having him, and headed to bed herself.

***

Mum! Its my birthday! Polly leapt onto the bed and covered her sleepy mothers face with kisses. And yours! Because you wouldnt have had me without today!
Thank you! Clara hugged her and gazed into her grey eyes. Happy birthday, my darling. Be healthy, be happy.
Polly snuggled close, sniffing her mums neck.
Am I grown up yet?
Of course! Ten years old! But do you know what?
What?
Youll always be a little girl to me! Clara winked, and Polly giggled.
Thats fine! Little ones are loved best!
Oh, is that so? Clara tickled her, and Polly squealed in delight.

All right! Time for presents!
Clara opened her bedside drawer.
I have something for you.
She handed Polly a small box.
Careful now.
Polly opened it and gasped softly.
Mumits
Thats the one, nodded Clara.
Gently, Polly lifted a tiny crystal kitten from the box. She remembered Clara telling her that her grandfather had given it to her as a child.
He said for my eldest granddaughter, didnt he?
He did.
Thank you! I always hoped it would be mine. Polly stroked the kittens delicate ears. But, Mum, Im your only daughter
Clara smiled, and Polly searched her face anxiously.
Really? she whispered. Clara nodded, and Polly bounced on the bed, clutching the kitten, shouting, Hooray! Im going to be a big sister! Mum, is it true?
Well see, darling.
As Polly danced about the room, Clara felt tears prick her eyes. How long they had waited for this

Later, as Polly twirled in her new birthday dress, she asked, Mum, when are the guests coming?
Clara checked her watch and gasped.
We overslept! Come onget a move on!
They hurried through breakfast and by lunchtime Polly, radiant in white, was welcoming their guests, filling the house with laughter.
How are you both? Linda asked, settling into an armchair, fixedly looking at Clara.
Alls well, Mum. Polly did brilliantly at school, all top scores, and shes a star at the music school. Shes a joytruly.
Appreciate that, Clara. Not everyone gets such a gift, just falling into their lap.

Clara sighed. Linda was becoming harder to talk to. Fortunately, Jenny drifted in from the kitchen, and lightened the mood with tales of her unruly children and her husbands flaws. Clara offered distracted nods, noting that her niece Millie, like Polly, had finished the year with top marks and that her nephew Victor was now the borough boxing champion.

Suddenly a shriek from the childrens room rang out. Clara dashed in to find Polly in tears, her pretty white dress splattered with juice.
Nurses kit, Jenny! In the kitchenhurry! I need a bandage!
The house was in chaos for a moment, but soon Polly was cleaned and bandaged. Only Millie, hunched in a corner, glared jealously at her cousin.
Clara gathered Polly onto her lap in their bedroom.
Will you tell me what happened?
Polly sniffled, burying her head in Claras shoulder. At last she raised her grey eyesso like Claras.

***

That evening, after all the guests left and Polly had fallen asleep clutching her crystal kitten, Clara stood at the window, reflecting. Life had not always gone as planned. There had been heartbreak, bitterness, and loss. Through it all, she had learned that love does not always arrive as expected, and family ties, though sometimes stretched or frayed, could mend, given time, patience, and forgiveness.

The crystal kitten glimmered gently in the moonlighta delicate thread joining past and present, memory and hope. Clara understood, at last, that real happiness was not in getting everything she wanted, but in cherishing the imperfect, wonderful life she had, finding joy in love given and received, and in being able to pass that love on.

In the end, our lives may be fragile as crystal, but when we hold them carefully, they catch the light.