The Price of Deceit: How One Woman Chose to Preserve Her Family
I decided to pen this tale after frequently encountering confessions online from women who deliberately lied to keep their families intact. These stories often featured wives unable to conceive with their husbands but who managed to become pregnant by another man—sometimes with their husband’s knowledge, more often secretly. The husband believed the child was his own, and the wife kept silence in the name of “love” and “happiness.”
Reading these, my heart tightens with pain and outrage. Life is indeed complex. At times, fate robs us of the most cherished gift—the ability to give life. But deceit… especially one so fundamental… It destroys not only families but the souls of everyone involved.
I speak from experience. For nine long years, I struggled with infertility. Nine years of injections, medical tests, tears, hopes, and disappointments. My husband and I wanted a child more than anything else in the world. I watched each unsuccessful cycle eat away at him, though he remained strong for my sake. Every time someone close suggested I covertly find a donor—“You’re a woman; your biological clock is ticking”—it made my blood boil. I looked at my husband and knew: no, I wouldn’t betray him. I wouldn’t lie. Even for the most sacred reason—motherhood.
A so-called “friend” once told me: “Why are you tormenting yourself? Get pregnant by someone else, and that’s it. He’ll never know. As long as the blood matches.” But what if, I replied, disaster strikes? An accident? An illness? A need for blood transfusions? What if a transplant becomes necessary? The truth would come out. What then?
I’d rather be childless than deceitful. But God offered us another way. My husband and I adopted a little girl—Margaret. Not once have I regretted our decision. She is our daughter. Our own—not by blood, but by love, by heart.
And then there’s a story that continues to disturb me. Our old acquaintances seemed to be the perfect family. They had twins. He was kind, caring, hardworking. She was beautiful, charming. People looked at them with envy. But, as it often happens, the truth couldn’t stay hidden forever.
One day, the man was diagnosed with congenital infertility. He was shocked. He underwent further tests, and it was confirmed. There were two possibilities: either the children were not his, or a medical miracle occurred. Unfortunately, no miracle had taken place.
He was devastated. He didn’t shout or smash dishes—he simply packed his things, left the house, the children, everything… and moved abroad. Word says he now works in London. He never saw his wife again. And the children? They learned the truth and couldn’t forgive. They went to live with their paternal grandparents. The mother was left alone in a house that was once filled with children’s laughter.
The most heartbreaking part is that the children chose never to return. They grew up and moved away to study in another city, keeping no contact with her. Occasionally, I hear about her from mutual friends. She’s still alone. Sometimes she can be seen near the shop—with a vacant stare, a hunched back. Silent, even with those she once considered friends.
I don’t share this out of schadenfreude. I am a woman myself. I know the pain of not being able to conceive. When you see other people’s children and feel an emptiness inside you. But, my dear friends, deceit is not a remedy. Deceit is a poison that slowly but surely corrodes everything it touches.
Today, medicine has made great strides. There is artificial insemination, IVF, donor programs—open and honest. There is adoption. There are ways to find happiness without destroying others’ lives.
I have lived through this pain. I lived through it honestly. And now, when my Margaret calls me “mum,” when she snuggles up to me as she sleeps, I know—I did everything right. My conscience is clear. And beside me is my husband, who never lost his trust in me.
Dear women, please, if you face such a choice—do not lie. Do not betray those who love you. Bitter truth is better than sweet deceit, which will eventually destroy everything. And most importantly—do not justify betrayal with love. True love does not breed deception. True love means honesty, even if it causes pain.
Let this story serve as a warning. Don’t make the same mistake. And if fate has taken motherhood from you, it will surely gift you something else. The key is to preserve your soul.
