The Choice “Turns out Fred really is well and truly married…” sighed Sue, sitting on a park bench and clutching the hospital referral note deep in her pocket. Her flatmates back at the halls envied her when they saw her with her tall, clean-shaven, blue-eyed, dark-haired companion, thinking she’d lucked out with such a charming gent. But there was nothing to envy, really. Sue shuddered, remembering her first and last meeting with Fred’s wife, who had caught her at the factory gates to spell out how things stood. “Well, hello there! You must be Susan?” she began. “And you are?” Sue tensed under the piercing gaze of the tall, slender woman with ash-blonde hair. “I’m Olivia—Fred Mason’s wife.” “What?” “You heard me!” “Yet another naïve girl,” the woman said calmly. “How many of you are out there—never ending, chasing after someone else’s happiness.” “How dare you?” “Listen,” Olivia gingerly took her rival by the elbow, “how dare you? I’m the legal wife. I saw you with my husband, and you’re still acting up, instead of apologising and feeling some proper shame—although, I suppose that’s something only decent people do, which doesn’t seem to be you. “There have been so many like you, I couldn’t count them all on my fingers and toes. “You’ve tangled with a married man—shameless! He’s a man, a hunter, you know? But to him, you’re just a fleeting adventure. He’ll tire of you before you know it. Best keep your distance. “By the way, we have two daughters—I could show you a family photo.” Olivia pulled out a photograph and handed it to a stunned Sue. “There. Proof of real, honest love. Us in Blackpool, just two months ago… “So? Why are you silent?” “What do you want from me? Sort out your husband yourself.” “Oh, I will—don’t worry! He only started at the factory recently, it pays well, and now, you’ve turned up to make things worse. “Let it go, for your own good. Don’t fall for Fred’s promises—he’s got no intention of getting a divorce. Don’t waste your time. How old are you, thirty?” “Twenty-five!” Sue retorted indignantly. “Well, then. You’ve got time to find someone else and start a family. Leave Fred be.” Sue listened no longer—she stumbled away from Olivia, whose sudden arrival had shattered her happy world and erased her hopeful dreams in a heartbeat. “Traitor…” Sue muttered, a lump in her throat, determined not to let her emotions spill out in public. She didn’t want workplace gossip. That evening, Fred turned up as if nothing had happened, flowers in hand. Crying and red-eyed, Sue threw him out, despite his eternal promises and claims he and his wife hadn’t loved each other for years. For two weeks, Sue recovered in silence. Fred left her alone, behaving at work as though she didn’t exist. But as they say, trouble never comes alone. When Sue started feeling sick in the mornings, she told herself it was stress. Soon, though, she realised her naive, passionate romance with Fred had left consequences. “Six weeks,” the doctor said—a sentence rather than a diagnosis. Sue didn’t want to be a single mum. She was frightened. She felt like everyone was judging her, all because she had trusted a man who turned out to be a stranger. Fred had hidden his marriage. What was she supposed to do, ask for his passport when they first met? He’d worn no wedding ring, though not all married men do. Why didn’t she question it when he said to keep their relationship secret at work? He had tricked her—and knowing she’d been deceived offered no comfort. The office now buzzed with gossip about “the wife’s visit”. “I’m pregnant,” Sue managed to tell her former lover one lunchtime, desperate. “I’ll give you the money—just sort it,” he muttered, and the next day Fred quit and vanished for good. Sue knew she couldn’t delay. Despite every warning from her doctor, she took the hospital referral for “the procedure”. And so, she sat on a bench, clutching that note as if it might vanish. “In a hurry?” asked a young man in a business suit, plopping himself down next to Sue, an enormous bunch of crimson chrysanthemums in his arms. “Sorry?” she replied, her eyes hollow. “Your watch is a bit fast,” he pointed––indicating her gold wristwatch. “My watches are always ten minutes ahead… I try to fix them, but it never works,” she replied, turning away. “Lovely weather though, isn’t it? Real Indian summer! My mum loves this time of year—she says she made her best life decision on a warm autumn day like this, and never regretted it. Did you know—” he bubbled on, a happy stranger, “—my mum’s like that!” He flashed a thumbs-up. “I’m so grateful to her.” “And your dad?” Sue asked before thinking. “Mum never told me about him, and I don’t ask. She doesn’t like talking about him.” Then, with a bright smile: “I just came from an interview—can you believe, they chose me from ten candidates! The only one they picked, even though I’ve hardly got any experience. Feels almost unreal… “It was Mum that gave me confidence. “I already know what I’ll do with my first pay packet—send Mum to the seaside. She’s never seen the sea. Have you?” “No,” Sue replied, curiously watching the cheerful, talkative chap, her eyes catching his burgundy tie. “A present from my mum,” he explained, smoothing the tie with pride. “Sorry if I’m going on—I just had to share my happiness, and you looked so sad… I thought maybe you needed someone to talk to. Am I bothering you?” Sue shook her head silently. Strangely, the stranger didn’t annoy her—he’d managed to halt her cycle of grim thoughts. His devotion to his mother was something she deeply respected. “What loyalty!” she thought, watching him intently. “His mum is so lucky… Wish I could have a son like him someday…” “Well, I’d better go. Mum’s waiting and she’ll worry. But don’t rush—” “What was that?” she asked. “I meant your watch,” he smiled. “Oh.” She smiled back. A moment later, he’d vanished, and Sue, finally releasing her grip on the crumpled hospital note, tore it into tiny pieces. She sat for a long while, breathing in the autumn air, feeling unexpectedly warm and light. She was not alone. Some women raise wonderful sons on their own. Pity she hadn’t asked his name… but perhaps that didn’t matter. The choice was made. *** Twenty-three years later… “Mum, I’m running late!” Stas called from the mirror. Mum was carefully tying his new burgundy tie—for his own big job interview. “You could just go without, you know.” “It’s for confidence, Mum! Trust me, everything’ll be fine. They’ll take me for sure… That’s it!” Susan finished the tie and stepped back to admire her son. “I’m nervous, what if…” “It’s your job, I can feel it. Just answer clearly, remember to smile. You look fantastic.” “Thanks, Mum.” Stas kissed her cheek and hurried out. Susan watched her only son enthusiastically stride towards the bus stop. Suddenly, she froze, jolted as if by electricity… She’d seen this all before. That lad in the park, more than twenty years ago… Her Stas, suited up, looked just like him. How could she have forgotten that day for so long? Now it all came alive in her memory. Was it fate, she wondered, letting her see with her own eyes whom she almost let go—(such a horrible word)—giving her the chance to make the right choice, guiding her down the right path? Why hadn’t she asked his name, since they were about the same age, or his mother’s name? But now, maybe that didn’t matter. Everything turned out wonderfully. After lunch, Stas came home with an armful of burgundy chrysanthemums—the shade of his tie—and told Susan he’d got the job. He promised they’d finally go to the seaside together. She’d never seen the sea, after all. Now it was time for him to look after the mum he loved more than anything. He would move mountains, turn rivers for her—such was Susan’s son. Whatever life had thrown at them, Susan had never, ever regretted having him. She had made the right choice. And so it was meant to be.

The Decision

So it turns out, Fred is well and truly married sighed Kate, sitting on a park bench, clutching the hospital referral letter deep in her coat pocket.

Back at the hall of residence, my flatmates would eye me with envy when they saw me arm-in-arm with that dark-haired, clean-shaven, blue-eyed gent. They thought Id lucked out with such a charming escort. But in truth, there was nothing to envy.

I shivered, recalling the one and only confrontation Id had with Freds wife. Shed waited for me outside the factory gates, keen to set the record straight.

Well, hello there! You must be Katherine! she began.

And you are? I asked, startled by the piercing gaze of this tall, elegant woman with ash-blonde hair.

Im Olivia. Freds wifeOlivia Mitchell.

What?

You heard me.

Just another plain Jane, she said smoothly, How many of you are there, I wonder therell always be women like you, chasing after someone elses happiness.

What gives you the right? I stammered.

Listen, she said, gently but firmly taking my elbow, its you crossing the line, not me. Im his wife. I saw you with my husband, and now you stand here acting like youre owed something, when you should be ashamed, grovelling for forgiveness. Decent people would, but clearly, thats not you.

She looked me up and down coldly. Youre not the first, you know. There have been more than I can count on my fingers and toes. Throwing yourself at a married man shameful! Hes a hunter, cant you see? To him, youre just a fleeting adventure. Hell have his fun and move on. Stay away from him.

By the way, weve got two daughters. Fancy a look? Olivia pulled a photo from her purse and handed it to me. There. Proof of a whole family. That was us in Brighton two months ago

Well, cat got your tongue?

So what do you want from me? I snapped. Sort it out with your own husband.

Oh, I will. Dont you worry! He only started at this factory recentlygood pay and all, and now you show up. Walk away. Dont be charmed by his words, Fred isnt planning on getting a divorce. Dont waste your time. How old are you, thirty?

Twenty-five, I shot back indignantly.

Even better. Youve still got time to find a husband of your own and settle down. Leave Fred be.

I couldnt take any more. My legs felt like jelly as I walked away from that wife who had crashed into my fairytale, shattering every rosy hope in an instant.

Traitor I muttered to myself, feeling a lump in my throat. I couldnt allow myself to break down in public; the last thing I wanted was workplace gossip.

That evening, Fred showed up at my door as if nothing had happened, arms full of flowers. I, puffy-eyed, threw him out, despite his oaths of eternal love and his promises to leave his wife promises hed clearly never intended to keep.

For the next two weeks, I was a shadow of myself. Fred stayed away, acting as if hed never known me and turning his back when we crossed paths.

But one misfortune never comes alone At first, I blamed my morning nausea and headaches on the stress. It wasnt long, though, before I realised that my reckless, naive romance with Fred had left me with more than just regret.

Six weeks The GPs words felt like a sentence.

I was terrified at the thought of being a single mother. It felt as if everyone knew, their eyes judging me for the mistake of trusting a man I knew so little about.

Fred had hidden his marriage from me. What could I have done, demanded his driving licence at our first meeting? There was no ring, though not every married man wears one.

And why hadnt it raised alarm bells when hed insisted on keeping our relationship secret at work? Hed fooled me but knowing that didnt make it any easier. To make matters worse, the office was buzzing with talk about Olivias fateful visit.

Im pregnant, I told Fred at lunch one day, cornered by despair.

He muttered, Ill give you some money, just sort it out, before vanishing for good the very next day, quitting the job and my life.

I knew I couldnt wait much longer. Ignoring the doctors warnings, I clutched my referral for the procedure.

Now I sat on that chilly bench, gripping the paper as if it were the only thing tethering me to reality.

In a rush? a young man asked, landing beside me in a sharp suit with an enormous bouquet of deep red chrysanthemums.

What? I mumbled, glancing at him with hollow eyes.

Your watch, he said, nodding to my gold bracelet watch. Its ahead.

Oh, its always ten minutes fast. I re-set it all the time, but it never helps, I said blankly, turning away.

The weathers grand today, isnt it? Proper Indian summer. My mum loves this time of yearsays it was on a day like this she made the right choice in life, never looked back, he chatted cheerfully, unbothered by my mood. You know, my mums amazing! He gave a thumbs up. I owe her so much.

What about your dad? The question escaped me.

She never really talks about him. Ive never asked, either. When she thinks of him, I can tell shed rather not remember

Ive just come from a job interview, you know. Out of ten candidates, they picked me for the position! Never thought Id get it, not with my experience. Hard to believe, really

It was my mum who gave me the confidence. And I know just what Ill do with my first months wagesbuy a holiday to the seaside for Mum. Shes never been.

Have you ever been to the sea?

No, I said, my eyes settling on the strangers deep red tie.

He was beaming, alive with excitement.

A present from Mum! he said with pride, smoothing the silk tie and grinning as he followed my gaze.

Im sure Im boring you silly, but I cant help sharing my good news. You look so down

He paused, concerned. Have I annoyed you with my chatter?

I shook my head. Oddly enough, it didnt irritate me at all. His optimism stopped the tidal wave of dark thoughts. And his affection for his mother really moved me.

What devotion! I thought, watching him with interest. Shes lucky to have a son like that. If only I could

Well, Id best be off. Mumll be waiting, all on tenterhooks And youtry not to rush.

Eh? Sorry?

I was talking to your watch. He smiled.

Oh, I managed, returning his smile.

He disappeared from view moments later, and I found myself staring at the referral letter in my handthe leaf Id gripped with such anxiety just moments before. I tore it into tiny pieces and let it scatter.

For a long time, I just sat there, breathing in the crisp autumn air and warm sunshine, my spirit lighter than it had felt in weeks.

I wasnt alone. Someone out there had raised a wonderful son single-handedly. I almost regretted never learning his name, but it didnt matter in the end.

My choice was made.

***

Twenty-three years later

Mum, Im going to be late! Stan stood by the mirror, while I fussed over his burgundy tiebought just yesterday for todays big job interview.

You sure youll be alright? I asked.

Its for luck. Trust meitll all go fine. Theyll definitely take you. There, much better! I finished straightening his tie and stepped back to admire my boy.

What ifwhat if it doesnt go well, though?

Stan, that jobs meant for you. Dont worry. Just answer clearly and smile. Youll charm the socks off them.

Thanks, Mum. Stan kissed my cheek and hurried out.

I stood at the window, watching my dearest, wonderful son striding off towards the bus stop, full of hope.

All of a sudden, a shiver ran through mea feeling of déjà vu.

Hadnt I seen all this before?

That kind young man in the park, more than two decades back

Stan in his smart suit right now looked just like him

And Id nearly forgotten all about that moment, all those years ago, but here it was again, alive in my memory.

How could it be? Was fate herself letting me see with my own eyes the very life Id so nearly given up? Guiding me towards the right choice? Why hadnt I talked to that boy, asked his mothers name? We couldnt have been far apart in age.

But now, none of it matters.

Everything has turned out beautifully.

That evening, Stan came home with a huge bouquet of deep red chrysanthemums to match his tie, beaming with the news hed got the job.

He promised wed go to the seaside together one day, just as Id never seen the sea.

Now its his turn to look after me. Hed move mountains for his mum, turn rivers around if he could. Thats my boy.

No matter what challenges life has thrown at us, I only have to bury my face in his warm hair and I feel stronger.

Weve survived everything. We never once lost heart.

Not for one moment have I regretted giving birth to him. I made the choice that was right for me.

And so it shall be.