The Audacious Aunt
“Is it so hard to help relatives now? Just kick them out and there’ll be room in no time!” the woman continued her attempt to snag a free stay in London. “Little Katie has been dreaming of visiting London! We’ve already bought the tickets and will arrive tomorrow! Make sure the flat is ready by then, got it?”
“Sure, right away,” chuckled the student, ready to end the conversation. “Maybe you want a red carpet too? Look, I’ve said all I need to. You’ll have to sort it out yourselves.”
It was a pleasant June day. Liam was coming back from university, delighted to be done with exams. Now he could finally relax. On his way, he popped into a store to grab some junk food for a series binge. Once home, which he shared with his flatmates Alex and Jack, he planned to spend the rest of the day alone. But soon enough, his phone rang. “Mum” flashed on the screen.
“Hi, Mum!” Liam said with a smile. “How are you? Not feeling lonely, are you?”
The calming voice of a tired woman replied on the other end:
“Hello, darling,” Sarah listened eagerly to her son. “We’re getting by, plenty to keep busy with, no chance of getting bored,” she chuckled softly. “How are your studies? How did your exams go?”
“Finished everything, Mum,” Liam said, crunching chips loudly. “Now I’ll look for a summer job.”
“Thank heavens,” Sarah sighed with relief. “Darling, I have a favour to ask…”
“What is it?” Liam asked with interest.
“Do you remember Aunt Tanya, my cousin?”
Liam tried hard to recall who Aunt Tanya was. Sorting through countless relatives on both his dad’s and mum’s sides, he still couldn’t place her.
“How could you not remember?” Sarah was a bit surprised. “She visited ten years back for your birthday. She has a daughter, Katie.”
Ah, now it rang a bell. Aunt Tanya did come to the party, though the memories weren’t pleasant.
Liam slowly pieced together the scene: how she gave him an awful jumper, how she strutted around his room critiquing the mess while his parents prepared in the kitchen.
“Katie keeps her room spotless,” Tanya had snapped, inspecting every shelf. “Not a speck of dust! And look at yours? Your parents don’t raise you properly, and you’re turning into a little pig.”
As a kid, Liam didn’t quite grasp the adult’s words. Was it that bad? Were scattered toys and mugs enough to make him a pig?
Oh, and Katie… The girl was two years younger and behaved as she pleased in someone else’s home – clearly, her mum didn’t concern herself with disciplining her daughter. When Liam asked her to leave his room, she giggled, stuck her tongue out, and rummaged through his drawers, searching for something interesting. Finding Liam’s favourite colouring book, she tore it apart with a smirk, watching him closely. He couldn’t take it any longer, snatched what was left of the book, and pushed Katie out of the room. First, he heard a child’s cry outside quickly turning to a full-blown tantrum and then a heavy-set woman stomping over.
“You little monster!” Aunt screeched, glaring at Liam. “Are you hurting my girl?”
“I didn’t hit her…” Liam tried defending himself, pointing at the paper shreds, but the woman wasn’t listening. Instead, she slapped him hard and shook him violently, lifting him by his shoulders. “I’ll show you, brat, not to bully my girl!”
Liam could only stare in terror, legs dangling with the shaking, tears streaming down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his parents stunned. Finally, his dad managed to free the boy, dragging Tanya by the hair out of the flat, along with her wailing daughter. Liam hadn’t seen them again since.
After reminding his mum about the “celebration,” he heard her sigh heavily and say:
“Let’s leave all that in the past, darling. It’s been years, no need to hold onto it. Tanya might have mellowed over time…”
“Not so sure,” Liam had his doubts about Aunt Tanya’s normalcy now. “By the way, why bring her up suddenly?”
Sarah hesitated before answering.
“Well, Tanya and her daughter, with her father-in-law, plan to visit London. They’re hoping to stay at your place for a week. It’d be nice if you could show them around the city.”
“Oh, that explains her sudden appearance,” Liam thought, listening to his mum. “Now I see.”
“Mum, sorry but I can’t host them,” Liam replied. “No room. Plus, Alex and Jack contribute to the rent too, they’re rightful tenants. If family wants to come, they’ll have to book a hotel.”
“Fair enough,” Sarah agreed. “I’ll let her know. Alright, darling, have a good break.”
They said their goodbyes, and Liam decided to do a bit of cleaning. He didn’t hear his phone buzzing persistently. When he checked the missed calls—twenty in total—all were from an unknown number. Curious, he dialed back and was met with an irate woman’s voice.
“Liam!” Tanya barked, skipping greetings. “Why aren’t you letting us stay at your place? Don’t you realise hotels are extremely expensive?”
“I already explained to Mum,” the shrill voice brought back unpleasant memories instantly. “I’m not living alone; two others share the flat with me.”
“And what, is it hard now to help family? Kick them out and then there’ll be space!” The woman wasn’t giving up on a free stay in the city. “Katie has been dreaming of visiting London for ages! We already have tickets and will arrive tomorrow! The flat better be ready, understood?”
“Sure thing,” Liam laughed, ready to hang up. “Want me to roll out a red carpet, too? I’ve said my piece, you sort it out.”
Feeling a sense of relief, Liam got back to his chores. When Alex and Jack returned, he recounted what had happened, and they all laughed.
“Crazy aunt, just ignore it,” Jack chuckled, miming a twirling finger beside his head. “Got lots like her among my acquaintances – can’t escape it.”
Spending time with pals, Liam really did forget the ordeal. The next morning, he woke in a good mood and decided to stay in. While gaming, an unexpected call came. Once more from Aunt Tanya.
Wondering what she could possibly want, Liam reluctantly answered.
“Hello?”
“And where are you?” Tanya demanded impatiently. “We’re at the station waiting for you to pick us up!”
“Where am I taking you?” Liam asked, confused, eyes off the monitor.
“To your flat of course!” Tanya yelled into the phone. “Or have you gone completely dense? Forgotten yesterday’s discussion?”
Stunned by her audacity, the student shouted back:
“Maybe you’re the one short on brains? Don’t understand I won’t offer you a place for free from the first time? Came to see London – now enjoy it, take in the fresh air!”
Flustered, Liam hung up and promptly blocked the number. Though trivial, it soured his mood all day. Wandering around the flat, ignoring his mates, he thought:
“Such relatives, I wouldn’t wish on an enemy… Good thing they don’t know the address…”
Meanwhile, Aunt Tanya wasn’t leaving Sarah alone, lamenting her fate:
“That big city’s ruined Liam! Family is in need and he… Well, tell that brat not to expect any help from us when he needs it! He’ll be waiting for nothing!”
Sarah could only shrug listening to her cousin’s tirade.
The End.
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