How lovely this is… murmurs Emily.
She adores drinking her morning tea in peaceful silence, while Thomas is still asleep and the grey light of dawn is just beginning to fill the window. In these quiet moments, everything feels as it should. Her job is secure. The flat is cosy. Her husband, reliable. What more could one need to be happy?
She never feels jealous of her friends who complain about jealous husbands and arguments over trifles. Thomas has never been the jealous sort. He doesnt check her phone, never demands details of her every move. Hes simply there beside her, and for Emily, that has always been enough.
Em, have you seen my shed keys? Thomas appears in the kitchen, hair tousled from sleep.
On the shelf by the door. Helping the neighbour again?
Tony asked me to take a look at his car. Something up with the carburettor.
Emily nods, pouring his tea. Its all so familiar. Thomas is always lending a hand. Helping colleagues move house, sorting out bits and bobs for friends, mending things for neighbours. My knight in shining armour, she sometimes thinks fondly. A man who just cant walk past someone in need.
That was what had won Emily over on their very first date, when Thomas stopped to help an elderly lady with her shopping bags. Anyone else wouldve walked by. But Thomasnever.
A new neighbour moved in downstairs about three months ago. Emily hadnt paid much attention at first. In a block of flats, people come and go all the time. But Sophieher name was Sophie turned out to be one of those women you simply cant ignore.
Her laugh echoed down the stairwell. High heels clattering up and down at all hours. That habit of chatting on her phone so loudly that the whole building could hear.
Imagine, he brought me groceries today! An entire bag! All on his own, without me even asking! Sophie was boasting to someone over the phone.
Emily happened to bump into her at the postboxes and gave her a polite smile. Sophie was practically glowing, with that certain delight only women at the first flush of infatuation seem to have.
New boyfriend? Emily asked, purely out of politeness.
Not exactly new, Sophie narrowed her eyes slyly, but very attentive. Rarer than gold dust. Handles every problemleaky taps, dodgy sockets, even helps me with the bills!
Sounds like youve landed on your feet.
Thats not the half of it! Mind you, hes married. But thats just paperwork, right? What matters is were happy together.
Emily walked back upstairs, a heavy, unsettled feeling settling over her. It wasnt about anyone elses morals. Something about that conversation grated, though she couldnt put her finger on what.
Over the next few weeks, these encounters continued. It almost felt like Sophie was waiting to catch her in the stairwell, eager to share the latest thrilling update.
Hes so thoughtful! Always checking if Im alright, asking if I need anything…
Yesterday he brought me medicine when I was ill. Found a twenty-four hour chemist and everything!
And he always says its vital to be needed. Thats the meaning of life, he sayshelping others…
That made Emilys skin prickle.
To be neededthats his meaning in life.
Thomas said the very same thing. She could remember him saying it clearly on their anniversary, explaining why he was latehed stayed to help his mates mum with her allotment.
Just coincidence. Surely, lots of men have a hero complex?
But the details began to stack up. The way hed buy groceries unaskedThomas did that too. The habit of fixing everything himself.
Emily tried to shake off the suspicions. Nonsense, paranoia. You cant accuse your husband simply because of a neighbours gossip.
Then Thomas started changing. Not suddenly, gradually. Slipping out for a tick, then being gone an hour or more. His phone, now glued to his handeven in the bathroom. Short, slightly snappy answers to straightforward questions.
Where are you going?
Out.
Where to?
Em, stop with the interrogation, alright?
Yet he seemed…happy. Content in some new way. As if somewhere else, he was getting the dose of being-needed he missed at home.
One evening, he gets ready to go out again.
Gotta help a mate with some paperwork.
At nine in the evening?
Thats the only time hes freehe works days.
Emily doesnt argue. She watches the window, notices he never leaves the building.
She puts on her jacket, and calmly, without rushing, heads downstairs to the familiar door on the first floor.
Her finger presses the doorbell. Emily hasnt rehearsed any accusations, nor bothered to decide what shell say. She just waits.
The door opens almost instantly, as if someones been hovering nearby. Sophie stands there, short silk dressing gown, glass of wine in hand. At first she beams, then her smile falls away as she recognises her visitor.
And behind her, in the soft light of the hallway, Emily sees Thomas. No shirt. Hair wet from the shower. Looking, unmistakably, quite at home in someone elses flat.
Their eyes lock. Thomas lurches, half opens his moutha pause. Sophie glances from one to the other, unmoved, just giving a nonchalant shrug.
Emily turns and walks back up the stairs. She hears a fumbling, Thomass voice trailing after: Em, waitlet me explain! But she doesnt let him back into the flat.
…The next morning, Margaret arrives. Emily is hardly surprised. Of course Thomas has rung his mum to share his version of events.
Emily, love, dont be childish, her mother-in-law settles at the kitchen table. Men, theyre just big kids. They need to feel heroic. That neighbour of yours, she just…well, she needed help. Thomas cant help himself.
He couldnt help himself in her bedroom, you mean?
Margaret winces, as if Emilys said something crude.
Dont twist things. Our Thomas is a good lad. He feels for people. Thats not a crime, is it? So he got carried away a bit. Happens to the best of us! My late husband…well. The main things the family. Youre a sensible woman, Emily. Dont ruin everything over a silly mistake.
Emily stares at this woman and sees everything shes afraid of becoming. Accommodating. Patient. Willing to overlook absolutely anything, just to keep up the appearance of family life.
Thank you for popping by, Margaret. But I need some time to myself.
Her mother-in-law leaves, muttering something about young people these days, who know nothing of forgiveness.
That evening, Thomas comes crawling back. Prowling round the flat like a guilty cat, seeking her eyes, trying to take her hand.
Em, its not what you think. She just needed help with a leaky tap, then we started talkingshes so lonely, so low…
You didnt have any clothes on.
I…spilled water on myself! While fixing the tap! She lent me a shirt and then you…
Emily looks at him, surprised shes never noticed beforeThomas is a hopeless liar. Every word wobbles with panic; every gesture screams guilt.
Look, even if…suppose…something did happen. It didnt mean anything! I love you! She was just…a fling. Stupid. A mans mistake.
He sits beside her on the sofa, attempting to put his arm around her.
Lets just forget about it, yeah? I wont do it again, promise. Actually, Im already fed up with herall she does is moan and want things…
And thats when Emily finally understands. This isnt remorse. This is fear of losing comfort. Fear of having to stay with a woman who truly depends on him, instead of one who just lets him play the hero when it suits him.
Im filing for divorce, she says simply, as if shes saying Ive switched off the iron.
What? Em, youre being ridiculous! Over one mistake?
She stands, goes to the bedroom. Pulls out her holdall. Starts packing her documents.
…The divorce comes through in two months. Thomas moves in with Sophie, who welcomes him with open arms. Open arms that soon become endless to-do lists. Mend this. Buy that. Sort the bills. Help. Sort out.
Emily hears about it in passing through mutual friends. She nods, without a hint of bitterness. Everyone gets whats coming to them.
She rents a small place on the other side of town. Every morning, she has her tea in silence and no one asks where the shed keys are. No one slips away for a minute and reappears smelling of someone elses perfume. No-one instructs her to be patient, easier to live with.
The funny thing is: she thought it would hurt. Expected to be eaten up by loneliness, regret. But instead, she feels something elselightness. As if shes shrugged off a heavy winter coat she never realised shed been wearing.
For the first time, Emily belongs to herself. And, as it turns out, thats better than any kind of stability.












