Thank you, Lord! Ive waited so long! My nan breathed heavily, but her face shone with real happiness. Her dry hands stroked my cheek for a moment, then dropped wearily onto the blanket.
Rest a bit, Nan, I pleaded. We’ve got the whole day tomorrow to have a good old chat.
No, Harry, she smiled sadly. I only asked God for one thing to hold on until you came home. I don’t need anything anymore now Ive seen and hugged you. Let me rest a little and then well talk. She closed her eyes. Mrs. Turner, give the lad something to eat hes come a long way.
Nans health was failing. We both knew time was short. Its just been me and her for years, since my parents well, they disappeared into obscurity, giving away what little we had to drink, first selling off our things, then our home, finally themselves. Nan managed to pull me out before I went with them. She made sure I finished school, got my driving licence for cars and lorries, and saw me off into national service. And now, here I was. Not quite the homecoming shed have wished for, but there are things you dont get to choose.
While Mrs. Turner, our long-time neighbour and Nans closest friend, fixed me something to eat in the kitchen, Nan rested with her eyes closed, trying to gather the right words words she hoped would reach my heart and mind. But her memory was twisting on her. She stroked Topsy, her beloved tabby, who hadnt left her side for days, sensing that something was wrong. At last, she called,
Harry, come here. And when I sat down beside her, she spoke softly, I always wanted to spoil your children, Harry, but I suppose its not meant to be. Youll be on your own. Its hard being alone. If you find a good woman, dont let her go choose her for life, for all its rough patches. Lifes never been easy and it never will be. Dont waste your days in idleness and thoughtless fun, and above all, steer clear of the demon drink! One person gets caught by it, but the misery spreads to everyone. There are many paths in life, Harry, pick the right one.
She paused, gathering her breath, perhaps remembering my parents for a sad moment. Then, pulling herself together, she went on, The flats in your name now youll have a place to bring your future wife. Ive put aside for the funeral Mrs. Turner will show you where everything is. The rest, Ive transferred to your bank card. Itll see you through for a while. Look after my Topsy, dont let her be on her own. Shes clever, and dear, you know it too you brought her home as a kitten She let out a soft sigh. Thats it, I think. Off you go, get some sleep, Ill rest too Im tired.
The next morning, Nan did not wake up.
I found work as a network installer running cables, setting up internet, all through a friends recommendation. There were six of us in the team. It was tiring, but the pay wasnt bad, and there was satisfaction in a job well done.
At home, Topsy waited for me. I rescued her as a stray kitten maybe eight years ago. Since Nan passed, Topsy seemed lost, stopped eating, and spent all her time curled up in Nans favourite armchair, staring through the hallway, as if waiting for her to walk in at any moment. But it was always just us.
I tried everything to cheer her up, having long conversations with Topsy on my knee, telling her all about my day, trying to tempt her with treats. It was nearly a month before I got a response.
That day, Id got my first proper pay packet. The lads insisted on a round an unspoken rule, and to say no is about the worst thing you can do. I took them to a café, bought us all dinner, and had a few drinks myself. I made it home late and a bit tipsy. Topsy met me at the door. For some reason, I couldnt quite meet her all-knowing, green-eyed gaze. I looked away, but she kept watching. Eventually, having assessed my state, Topsy gave a woeful, despairing mew and slipped under the sofa.
Topsy, love, I found myself explaining, I couldnt let my friends down. They helped get me this job, and well, mates are mates. I couldnt shake the feeling I was apologising, not to Topsy, but to Nan.
Next day, Topsy was waiting at the door again. Satisfied I was myself, she twined around my ankles, purring loudly. She ate well, followed me about in the evening, and curled up on the bed, snuggling against my shoulder.
You understand everything, dont you? I whispered, stroking Topsy. But dont worry. Im grown up now, I can take responsibility for what I do. Only those who drink too much lose control Im wary, believe me. Family history, you know
And now work its all going the same way. The lads drink like fish, always a reason: cold weather, end of the week, birthdays, even just because its Friday. Ive been dodging the rounds, but theyre starting to look at me sideways. Maybe its time for a change. I always dreamed of being a lorry driver, but my licence isnt enough for the big rigs yet. Whod trust one to me?
Another Friday came around. I found myself again sitting in the café with the crew, listening glumly as the banter grew louder and clumsier.
Our table was served by a young, pretty girl. The lads kept calling her over, the foreman even grabbed her arm. Scared, she tried to get free but he held on too strong, drunk and forgetting himself.
Let her go, I said, standing up. The table quietened no one challenged the foreman. Startled, he loosened his grip and the girl slipped away, watching me as she fiddled with her apron, worried.
Before things got out of hand, the cafes owner a big fella in a flour-dusted apron appeared. Instantly, the lads decided it was time to leave, flashing me black looks as they went.
Wait a tick, lad, said the owner, stopping me. Let them cool off outside, maybe theyll come to their senses. He smiled kindly. Why are you stuck with that lot? You dont drink, Ive noticed. Do yourself a favour, find other company.
My team, I shrugged. We work together, so we go out together.
Nonsense, he grumbled, introducing himself as Michael. Thats not friendship, not like that. Sally, love, make us a cuppa? And Ill have a break too, while its quiet.
Your daughter? I asked, watching Sally head to the kitchen.
Yes, helps me after college. Come, sit down. So I found myself enjoying fragrant tea from a china pot. You know, youll have to change jobs after tonight youll be out in the cold, or worse, end up like them if you give in. Any skills?
I got my licence before national service did a year driving while I was in, I admitted. Always wanted to be a long-distance driver, but no ones going to hand me a big lorry.
Not at first, Michael agreed, but Ive got friends in haulage. For now, you could work for me. Weve a Transit van, a few out-of-town jobs, could use your help. Eventually, you could get your higher licence.
Id love that! I grinned. I already liked Michael: a big, calm, gentle soul and, as it happened, Sallys dad, which made me respect him even more. Michael, spotting my lingering look at Sally, told her,
Off you go, Sally. Thanks for helping Harry will walk you home. He chuckled as our faces went red.
***
Five years on, I was behind the wheel of a massive lorry, rumbling through a wintry road.
Only about twenty miles left until I reached home, where my wife, Sally, our daughter Maisie, and old Topsy would be waiting. A lonely figure caught my eye on the roadside, hunched in a thin jacket.
Hell freeze out here, I thought, and slowed down.
Foreman? I recognised him as he climbed into the cab.
He glanced over with cloudy, drink-heavy eyes.
Oh, its you He paused. Used to be the foreman not any more. The old teams gone; new blokes have taken our place. Half the lads are dead one froze, one drowned, both after a night on the drink. Another poisoned himself with dodgy booze. The rest live hand to mouth, like me. He swigged some nasty spirit, shook his head. Never mind, Ill get by.
I dropped him off at the high street and watched him go, feeling a pang of sadness at his empty bravado.
As I neared our block, I looked up at the lit kitchen window Sally would still be up, waiting. Perhaps Mrs. Turner was visiting, fussing over Maisie; but no, Maisie would be sleeping, under the watchful gaze of Nans photograph my daughter often chatted to her about her little troubles and nursery triumphs. It didnt matter that Nan couldnt answer; her eyes were kind and her smile as gentle as ever.
There was Topsy, on the windowsill, staring into the night. Noticing me, she slipped away, her tail raised, off to meet me at the door.
Im not alone, Nan, I whispered, smiling up at the glowing windows. Everyones home, together and youre here too. This is my road.
Looking back, I realise: life isnt about choosing the easiest path, but the right one and its the company you keep that makes all the difference.
